New, but needed to vent- thank you :-)

by Danni Jackson 33 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • steve2

    You sound like a very good friend to have remained so understanding of the other person who was marked.

    What a shame you can never feel safe enough in the JW organization to safely vent to your spiritual brothers and sisters - and that you have to keep things from them. Wouldn't you think that the truth is strong enough to withstand JWs talking honestly and respectfully to one another?

  • Incognito

    Hi Danni,

    Another welcome to you!

    It's telling that you come here to vent and express your personal opinions, having recognized and accepted you can't have a similar discussion with your brothers & sisters from the kingdom hall. I see Steve2 posted similar.

    Her reasoning being that one of her friends was not baptised at the time of the marriage and the others fiancé was studying at the time.

    So exceptions are made not due to love or other christian principles, but are rationalized when desired because of a 'technicality'. Obviously, these rationalizations don't sit well with you otherwise, you would not have mentioned the prior matters and would not be experiencing distress about the marking of your friend.

    so this is my first experience of hypocrisy in the truth. And I am really struggling with it. Now I am not really here to change my religion as I did do a lot of research into the 'watchtower' earlier on in my study

    Did your prior research reveal 'marking', 'disfellowshipping', 'theocratic warfare', 'WT child abuse procedures' or what happens to any JW who disagrees with any of these matters or does not adhere to behavior dictated? If you were not aware of of these matters, what else did your research fail to identify? Did your research include information beyond the literature published by WT?

    I believe you are a good person who wants to do what is right. Jesus examples regard personal beliefs and behavior, not those dictated by men as being acceptable. The bible indicates Jesus was opposed to the scribes and pharisees yet the Watchtower's Governing Body have set themselves as the modern day equivalent.

  • TheListener

    Welcome Danni. Feel free to vent. I'm glad you found the site and posted.

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    Marking is a very mean and devastating thing to do.... it is mental cruelty. I am happy for your friend, that you are willing to stand by your principles, and show love.

    Bad things happen when people just obey "even when told to do things that do not sound right from a human standpoint", right?

  • berrygerry
    Marking is a very mean and devastating thing to do.... it is mental cruelty.

    Shunning - lite.

  • Danni Jackson
    Danni Jackson


    Thank you for such a warm welcome albeit 8 months ago now! I think I was scared of the replies I would receive hence not checking in... after checking in now obv at now feeling dis-heartened/crushed over something else I was right to be apprehensive!

    I would also like to say thank you for the concern over my name.. it isn't my actual name no and when I logged on this evening it was a surprise to me, but I do now remember how I got to be Danni Jackson, so thats ok, and thank you for looking out for me.

    Well I've watched that video... man alive.. what have I done? So much of it is so true and that makes it terrifying. I don't know if my whole belief system is screwed now or just the indoctrination into the 'truth'. And contrary to the narrators message.. I did believe I could in fact be manipulated. It was the very fact of the couple that I studied with seemed so well read and educated that I thought they couldn't possibly be manipulated! Me.. well I'm clearly a fool!

    So what now? I certainly feel like God's done a runner.. all my friends are witnesses.. I am a single parent (all my children's friends are witness kids too). How do you restart? My life has just been one mess after another. I thought I'd found the magic key when hearing the Bibles message. But after about 6 weeks of crying and a absolutely appallingly handled shepherding call this week, which has done nothing than make me feel even more hopeless. I find myself here as I didn't know where else to go for comfort.. isn't that horrendous for a religion that preaches about love shows so little of it. Yet here I am because I didn't feel judged at all last time, and the acceptance shown is clear throughout the message boards.

    And I'm not sure about who put it in the comments.. but yes conditional friendships oh yes seen plenty of that in the hall. In fact a lot of it does stink.. But I don't know how to change it.. being a witness is in every part of my life. Will my children ever trust me again, I just keep on making wrong decisions. I was sure being a Jehovah's witness would only benefit us. Yet the organisation have got me in a corner where I feel powerless to even think about leaving.. now that is some sort of special skill set that is. It in fact is absolutely genius in its manipulation.

    As for my friend.. well she married the guy.. but the marking is not lifted (?) a scripture which was mentioned in the shepherding call was that one about how people will love what is bad in the eyes of god but turn away from what is considered good. Well God holds marriage in very high esteem.. so whose rejecting whats good now.. dear elders, shepherding the flock...:no_mouth:

  • Diogenesister

    Hi Danni, and a big hearty welcome!

    There is another issue at stake here...the fact there are so many more sisters to brothers in the org. This means, if they don't marry out, many sisters are condemned to singleness

    I'm afraid if your friend is determined to marry this chap she is indeed in for a rough ride for a while. Once they are married it will all settle down, BUT in the meantime she will be considered " bad association" even, ironically, by those who are also married to non-believers!!!

    I find it unloving and unChristian. "By their fruits you shall know them ".

  • Old Navy
    Old Navy

    Quote from Danni Jackson:

    ...Now I am not really here to change my religion as I did do a lot of research into the 'watchtower' earlier on in my study (some of you may not think I did enough, but I think I am here more to vent- if that's ok?)...

    Yeah just looking to vent!

    Thank you for being here.

    Venting is good and you've done it well!

    It's a beginning. There will be more.


  • Xanthippe

    Hi and welcome Danni.

    the organisation have got me in a corner where I feel powerless to even think about leaving.. now that is some sort of special skill set that is. It in fact is absolutely genius in its manipulation.

    You're right it is a fiendish skill set that all mind control cults use to imprison people. How to restart? You've only been baptised a year so probably have a few contacts left outside the religion. Relatives, work colleagues, neighbours. As a matter of urgency renew your friendships with them and make these your support system.

    Get your kids involved in other stuff to distract them from their JW friends, days out, art and craft hobbies, sport, pets, whatever they're into. Try and get them more into other kids not in the religion, cousins, school friends, neighbour's kids. Invite them round for tea, sleepovers, have a kid's party.

    Start planning your escape. Visit your doctor and get some advice about counselling. Use depression as an excuse to miss meetings because being away from the constant indoctrination will clear your head more than anything.

    Keep posting, there are hundreds of brilliant people on here who will have many brilliant ideas to help you. Take care, it's all going to be alright.

  • Danni Jackson
    Danni Jackson

    Thanks guys.

    Xanthippe well you say to keep posting I'm worried I may not ever stop!

    So of course the issues are with the elders so somebody recommended I re-read a recent study watchtower re: justice. So I have, but I don't think it's sitting right with me. How dare they come round and basically say.. well yeah your situation is your situation. You just have to accept this ill delivered counsel on the matter. Belittle anything I brought to the conversation.. because of course what would I know.. they are ALL superior. And if I don't accept the counsel.. well I am spiritually weak.. well duh! Why did I ask you to come round?? We are indoctrinated with this ideal that these men are here to help us. Not squash us! And then this article is saying that if they do slip up.. well we're not ok to complain we have to wait on Jesus.. coz you know that's working so well so far!! And the last paragraph reads.. 'Lovers of justice long for the day when Jehovah will completely erase all the injustice inflicted on humans by Satan and his wicked system.' Well talk about passing the buck!!! And how we have to be humble.. Why? The elders aren't humble.

    Anyway I'm sure this is just one of many discrepancies. And I'm sure it wont be the first example of this either.

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