Thank you for such a warm welcome albeit 8 months ago now! I think I was scared of the replies I would receive hence not checking in... after checking in now obv at now feeling dis-heartened/crushed over something else I was right to be apprehensive!
I would also like to say thank you for the concern over my name.. it isn't my actual name no and when I logged on this evening it was a surprise to me, but I do now remember how I got to be Danni Jackson, so thats ok, and thank you for looking out for me.
Well I've watched that video... man alive.. what have I done? So much of it is so true and that makes it terrifying. I don't know if my whole belief system is screwed now or just the indoctrination into the 'truth'. And contrary to the narrators message.. I did believe I could in fact be manipulated. It was the very fact of the couple that I studied with seemed so well read and educated that I thought they couldn't possibly be manipulated! Me.. well I'm clearly a fool!
So what now? I certainly feel like God's done a runner.. all my friends are witnesses.. I am a single parent (all my children's friends are witness kids too). How do you restart? My life has just been one mess after another. I thought I'd found the magic key when hearing the Bibles message. But after about 6 weeks of crying and a absolutely appallingly handled shepherding call this week, which has done nothing than make me feel even more hopeless. I find myself here as I didn't know where else to go for comfort.. isn't that horrendous for a religion that preaches about love shows so little of it. Yet here I am because I didn't feel judged at all last time, and the acceptance shown is clear throughout the message boards.
And I'm not sure about who put it in the comments.. but yes conditional friendships oh yes seen plenty of that in the hall. In fact a lot of it does stink.. But I don't know how to change it.. being a witness is in every part of my life. Will my children ever trust me again, I just keep on making wrong decisions. I was sure being a Jehovah's witness would only benefit us. Yet the organisation have got me in a corner where I feel powerless to even think about leaving.. now that is some sort of special skill set that is. It in fact is absolutely genius in its manipulation.
As for my friend.. well she married the guy.. but the marking is not lifted (?) a scripture which was mentioned in the shepherding call was that one about how people will love what is bad in the eyes of god but turn away from what is considered good. Well God holds marriage in very high esteem.. so whose rejecting whats good now.. dear elders, shepherding the flock...:no_mouth: