New, but needed to vent- thank you :-)

by Danni Jackson 33 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Danni Jackson
    Danni Jackson

    Hi everyone,

    I discovered your website this morning as I was trying to find some information about 'marking'. You see a very close friend of mine was 'marked' earlier this week and as I know the ins and outs of the situation (as we are close friends) I disregarded the talk immediately as I know my friend is obviously having issues but is no way a 'danger' to anybody else's spiritual health. Basically they are dating a non-believer- hence the talk. Not the first in the congregation and I doubt the last.

    Now I am relatively new to the 'truth' as I have been baptized for just over a year and studying for 4 years previous, so this is my first experience of hypocrisy in the truth. And I am really struggling with it. Now I am not really here to change my religion as I did do a lot of research into the 'watchtower' earlier on in my study (some of you may not think I did enough, but I think I am here more to vent- if that's ok?) And no matter whom the Governing Body are Jehovah has personally taken care of me very well, yes before I looked into the bible but also very much after.

    The reason I am here is because I had another couple round my home a couple of nights ago and all they could talk about was the 'marking' talk and how they hope it wakes this person up. Now I completely understand where they were coming from, they do not spend as much time with this person as I, so therefore cannot see the heart of it, as I can, they were looking at it extremely one dimensionally. I can accept that. However what I cannot accept is that the wife has two close friends in the truth whom both married non-believers. Her reasoning being that one of her friends was not baptised at the time of the marriage and the others fiancé was studying at the time. Because my friend is being refreshingly honest about it, it seems they are being made an example of. Never mind the fact that love is supposed to cover all things or the fact that Jehovah doesn't even bring to mind the wrongs that you have done. I guess it just showed up how judgemental and conditional friendships can be in the truth. And as I spent some time with the 'marked' person today am just wondering and yes worried about the repercussions that this will involve.

    Yeah just looking to vent!

    Thank you for being here.


  • cofty

    Hi Danni welcome to the forum.

  • Wild_Thing

    Jehovah's Witnesses have always seemed to have very black and white thinking about just about everything, including people. That is why friendships with Witnesses are so fragile. They will lay down their life for you one day, and overnight decide that you are bad association.

    Good for you for trying to break the mold! Good luck in not getting marked too for hanging out with your marked friend! You're gonna need it.

  • Nevuela

    I know a lady whose daughter has schizophrenia, dissociative identity disorder, and a few other things. I have met a couple of her personalities. She is a JW and, in her early thirties, is currently in her third marriage. The previous two ended in divorce on her part. No adultery, no abuse, nothing. And no, they didn't leave her due to her mental illnesses. She left them. She is very happy with her current husband, whom she has been with for several years now. Even some of her less loving personalities love him. This man is not a JW. And yet, despite all of this, she has never been disfellowshipped, shunned, brought before a judicial committee, or even marked.

  • dothemath

    Most of us here have lots of experiences from our congregations with modern-day

    "Pharisees". You are going to run into this numerous times the longer you're a witness.

    You should probably ask yourself "what would Jesus do?" when this happens, but you're likely to become "marked" yourself.

  • KiddingMe

    Hi Danni, welcome.

    We had that same type of marking talk several years ago regarding a sister that married an unbeliever. As you stated its pretty much to make an example of your friend and let everyone else no that that's a no no. If they were to ever get married, the gossip should die down and things should level out as far as them being viewed as any other JW with an unbelieving mate.

    I see what you are saying about the hypocrisy, they say they are doing the marking to prevent the "erroring one" from being a danger to the congregation but its not like they are going around trying to get others to marry out side the truth in the first place. Besides, the marking talk is most likely the first time many in tge congregation are being made aware of the person's situation. That was when I found out about the sister in our congregation.

  • Crazyguy

    Everyone it seems looks at the subjects in a one dimensional way. Very little empathy at all. It's this very short sited view that keeps so many trapped. Hand in there and remember that Jesus is your master and just because most including the governing body don't follow the teachings of Christ you can rise above it all.

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    Then vent as much as you want. That's what most of us here do. Welcome!

  • LettMorrisSplaneit

    Hi Danni,

    welcome, the sad fact is you can be marked for just being on this site. Think about that. Visit and all your questions will be answered. You sound like a caring friend, your friend is lucky to have you on their side, but the JWs will change you to the core without you realizing it.

  • Chook

    Welcome Danni

    if that's your real Christian name and surname it is highly likely that you will be TOLD in no uncertain terms to withdraw from this forum from your elders, gossip in JW ranks is very high. If you ever were to become an advocate of this forum it's possible to be dealt with judicially. On this forum you will receive genuine assistance in understanding JW doctrine ,never stop searching and question everything told by the organisation. The organisation has a habit of denying its history. We sincerely wish you well on your search.Regarding marking its one of those grey area doctrines where sometimes the person marked is unaware they are even marked. The true church will be identified by love and charitable works , if your church provides little for the disadvantaged or poor there's a chance it's not the truth.

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