The real reason 9/11 occurred (not what you think)

berylblue

Okay, I'm going to tell you all something I am very ashamed of.

I am a lowly consumer rep for (of all things) a major sports drink, which I can not name because I'm going to talk about something one of our valued consumers said, which is not really ethical. Oh, well.

Anyway, I get a call which, as they usually do, started out innocuously enough.

"Why is it called Fruit Punch when there is no fruit in it?"

"Well, sir, that's just the name of the flavor. Fruit punch."

"There is no fruit in it."

"Well, there is and isn't, sir. While there is no fruit juice, the natural flavor is derived from extremely concentrated fruit pulps. That is where the flavor comes from, fruit. Granted, the amount is so small that we are not able to label the product as having any fruit juice content. But the product does contain a combination of different fruit concentrates, such as grapefruit, apple, berry, pineapple, therefore, it's called fruit punch."

"THERE IS NO FRUIT IN HERE!!! YOU ARE CALLING IT FRUIT PUNCH. THERE'S NO FRUIT. THIS IS DECEPTIVE AND FALSE ADVERTISING. NO FRUIT MEANS IT SHOULD NOT BE CALLED FRUIT PUNCH."

This is where I lost my patience, which is rare for me (and in retrospect, I know I wasn't being monitored, because I'd have been pulled in the office right after the call had it been heard by the supervisors)
LISTEN, sir, I am not going to get into semantics with you. It's called Fruit punch because Fruit punch is the flavor. Passion Fruit is called Passion Fruit because THAT is the FLAVOR. Why don't you call up Coca Cola and ask them why there is no coke in the Diet Coke?

SEMANTICS???? You are telling me ABOUT SEMANTICS? This product is all about semantics. Fruit punch ...#&(@*@, there's no fruit in it. YOU ARE LYING TO THE PUBLIC. YOU ARE SELLING SUGAR WATER (I can't argue there) AND CALLING IT FRUIT PUNCH.

AMERICANS ARE ROBBING AMERICANS. AMERICANS ARE CHEATING AMERICANS. EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY, AMERICANS ARE DEFRAUDING AMERICANS.

(hold on, here it comes)

THIS IS WHY PEOPLE ARE BOMBING AMERICANS. FAKE FRUIT PUNCH. THIS IS WHY 9/11 HAPPENED. IT'S ALL ABOUT BIG COMPANIES DECEIVING THE PUBLIC

He was on a major rant, and I was not even listening any more. I was ready to pull the plug on him until he finally uttered a few more obscenities and hung up on me.

Well now I know the truth. I guess old Osama was pissed off that there was no fruit in the ______ brand Fruit Punch.

I just thought you'd like to know.

Rosemarie

I HATE MY JOB!!!!

Yerusalyim

YIKES!

IronGland

I hope no one sends this post to George Bush. He would probably send in the marines to the juice factory.

berylblue

Surprisingly, he did not get to me.

Only two consumers really ever got to me to the point I had to get off the phones for a few minutes.

One was the woman who told me that her husband was over in Iraq fighting for MY right to make millions selling this product. She wanted free cases of the product for her husband, and (even thought I am upset by this personally) the company claims they can't do that. So she told me I was making millions while her husband suffered. Me, personally. She was downright vile. I wanted to tell her I wasn't the idiot who enlisted. (I don't really feel that way, I know many who join the military for very honorable or practical reasons, and I wholeheartedly support their decisions. But that is how much some callers can get to me. The things I wish I could say. She was just vile, vile, vile. And I took it. I was a newbie then. Now I cut them right off. Like the woman who opened her call, "You think you are better than God." )

The other was a nut case who, again, started off as kind of normal (although I think anyone who has to call an 800 number to bitch that they didn't like a certain flavor of this product are kind of off anyway....like, throw it the f out and buy another bottle already. Don't call me up and bitch at me, telling me you (allegedly) bought an entire case of a product you've never tried before, decide you don't like it, and want all your money back. Get a frigging life. I'M not the idiot who (allegedly) bought an entire case of something without trying it first. Stop yelling at me and go do something productive.)

Anyway, this guy said, "I've got two bottles of ____ and the labels are different. They are the same flavor and size but the labels are different."

"Well, let's take a look at the production codes. They were, most likely, manufactured at different plants."

I won't bore you, but it ended up that he thought someone was tampering with (of all things) the labels. He was extremely agitated, and accused me of not wanting to help him. I offered to replace the bottles plus a few, but he was too paranoid at this point to give me his name. He just kept harping on how someone was tampering with the labels and that it was all some kind of mysterious plot. I offered to get a supervisor but he just cursed at me and hung up.

Weird. Label tampering? What the hell would be the point of that?

You know what was different? One UPC code was vertical on the first bottle, and horizontal on the second bottle.

He thought it was a matter of national security. I kid you not.

I had to take a few minute breather after he accused me of not wanting to help him solve this terrible plot.

I hate my job.

teejay

Uh...

Beryl?

Uh... was that supposed to be funny?

'Cause...

well...

I laffed my booty off.

I live for phone calls like that. I'd-a had that guy so wrapped up he'd-a had a heart attack.

The reason for 9/11 was mislabled fruit punch. Jesus. Of all the things people could get upset about...

breal

Oh I so feel your pain. It is amazing the things that people get so worked up about - makes one wonder how they deal with the really important things in life. It also amazes me that people are willing to sit on hold for endless amount of time to complain about a 2c billing error or some such trivial thing.... (of course to them it is the principal of the matter)....

berylblue

Teejay, I laughed too. I thought it was hilarious. But not until he hung up on me. It is SO difficult not to show one's true emotions in a scenario like that. I wanted to tell him he needed to take his medication. I wonder if there is fruit punch in thorazine.

berylblue

Well, I didn't realize it until you mentioned but yes, it is pain. The job is demeaning in many ways, but it's the best I can do right now. My mind is such a jumbled mess. Long story. Some here know why. Experts say give it time and I will no longer feel high all the time. (A bad high, or I wouldn't be complaining.)

It's funny, and I laugh a lot, but it's very very sad. There are some very sick people out there.

It's 8 hours of being assaulted, one call after the other. Some persons are nice; many are scamming, some are downright nasty. It's so reactive, and I very much proactive when it comes to helping persons with problems. It's 8 hours of reacting to persons with complaints. A call comes in , and you don't know what's going to hit you. And I'm barely paid more than minimum, even though I am considered an expert on the product.

I have a difficult time remembering all the coding (we code each call and write down everything the consumer said); there is maybe 30 seconds between calls and sometimes, just one, because I've been working while the person rants, entering all the information. But I'm a good actress, and I am told that I sound extremely sincere, sympathetic, caring and honest. But the detail work , I suck at.

I'm sorry I AM RANTING.

AAAAAAAAAGH.

Now, should we code that an 11com or and 11pis?.

I'm sorry.

But I did think you would like to hear the real reason for terrorism.

Gadget

A call comes in , and you don't know what's going to hit you.

That makes it harder to deal with. I've worked with a lot of phychopaths (Literally...), and I don't find it hard to deal with because I know what to expect in there and am prepared for it. In another aspect of my job I work with the public and get a mixed response. I find that harder to deal with because it can catch you off guard.

Gadget

Shakita

HI!

OH MY GOD, you have my sympathies, Rosemarie! Dealing with the public in any job you always get a WIDE variety of people....but it seems like you have your fair share of loonies in the fruit punch business.

My daughter works for the government and handles complaint calls from anyone who has a problem with the health services in their county. She has had crazy and bizarre calls ranging from senile senior citizens calling from nursing homes complaining about naked people running in the halls.....to patients from the psyh. ward of the hospital telling her that they were being tortured by the staff......just to name a few....and regardless of the obvious hallucinations, all have to be recorded and followed up on....I am glad that I don't have THAT job!

Hang in there, Rosemarie.....it could be worse....you could have MY job!

Mrs. Shakita

The real reason 9/11 occurred (not what you think)

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