I shouted at him in my darkest hour, yelled at him. I have come to the conclusion that he is big enough to understand why I did it, and that he does not hold it against me, he knows the depths of our darkest hoours and understands why we react as we do. He understands and forgives our yelling.
But - my perception of him has changed since then. I no longer see him as an all-powerful old grandfather in the sky, who all the time watches over me and wants only the best for me and tries to find the best way out of situations for me. He did not intervene and prevent the darkest hour from coming, I have problems forgiving him for that, and so I have certain problems finding out his exact role in our daily life. Why do they say that he so much cared for certain people that their crop was not damaged and their car did not break down and there was an envelope with the exact amount of money outside their door one morning - but he allowed the darkest hour to strike others.