In love with a JW girl

by rastapau 37 Replies latest social relationships

  • just fine
    just fine

    Walk away, nothing good can come of this. It will be Jehovah's Witness endorsed emotional blackmail for the rest of your life. It's not worth it, there are billions of people on earth, you will find someone else.

  • DesirousOfChange

    The advice seems pretty unanimous, doesn't it?

    I'm betting $20 that you don't take it. DOC

  • LisaRose

    What happened is that your girlfriend was raised in a cult. She was lonely, because dating prospects are not great in the organization, and so she broke the rules and got involved with you. She was able to forget about her religious beliefs for a while, because the desire to love and be loved is very strong, but she still believes in the religion and it was inevitable that she would be found out and punished.

    Being disfellowshipped is very painful, so it has shocked her into obedience, plus she obviously still believes in the religion. She has made her choice, she is choosing the religion over you. Your choice is to walk away or join the religion. You will be expected to spend hours each week in meetings, go out in the door to door service, and give up independent thought. You will have to give up all your non JW friends, holidays and voting and believe in creationism instead of science. If your child needs a blood transfusion you will be expected to refuse, even if it results in their death. You can be disfellowshipped at any time for anything three elders agree on.

    Before you even think about joining, I urge you to learn more about this religion. They are not honest about their history and practices. They have changed doctrines so many times even current members get confused about what they believe. They are led by a group of men in New York who dictate what everyone is to believe and do, they claim to be directed by God, his sole channel of communication with mankind . They believe that only Jehovah's Witnesses will be saved, that everyone else will be destroyed at Armageddon, which is happening soon. In fact, they have incorrectly predicted the end many times, all of it based on some wacky chronology based on an incorrect date. They have a history of covering up child sex abuse, denying they have a problem while secretly paying out millions in settlements. They mind control techniques to keep the membership.

    This is just the tip of the iceberg. For a good starting point on learning more, I suggest

  • Giordano
    I left my live in partner for 18yrs for her and my kids. It just felt unfair. I gave up everything and she gave up nothing. I'm so confused on whats happening.

    First thing........ make sure your kids are back in your life. Your confused? What about your live in partner and kids?

    I assume your JW girlfriend was DF because she was intimate with you? Not unreasonable after a 3 year relationship.

    Are you aware that in front of three Elders......she was questioned about every intimate thing you shared? All the stuff that was supposed to be private.

    As part of their mission to keep the congregation clean and for their own prurient interests they ask for all the details.....then they run home and tell their wives who in turn share the gossip. Sexual gossip is cat nip to a congregation of JW's.

    What you have to decide is if she is worth it to become a JW. Apparently she values her religion, family and friends over you. Even though she was probably breaking their rules for three years. There is no value to submitting to Watchtower discipline by becoming a JW.

    Your were not dating her and the JW religion.That wasn't the deal. Walk away if you can.

    That religion among split couples is the original 800 pound gorilla in the room. It never leaves and it craps all over everything.

  • LifesNotOver

    OP let this be a warning to you (if you're still reading our posts). She's chosen her religion and family and friends over you. After THREE years with you? You've already sacrificed too much! She wants things her way, she wants to have her cake and eat it too. I say cut your losses - better to wake up now than later when you're baptized, married, kids maybe - think how hard that will be!

    By now you might be regretting ever posting here, so much advice contrary to what your heart is telling you. I know, been there! You can't deny your heart, it has to have a say, but I believe your head should have the final say. Think, man!, think!

    In any case, you'll do what you do. Either it will work out for you or it won't. You've had so much advice here but in the end ... everyone lives their own life the best they can and no one can tell anyone else for sure how things will turn out.

    You can make good friends here and you can come or go as you please, read, post, whatever you like, we're always here to listen and empathize and give advice (no kidding! ) There's always someone here who will understand your struggles. You're not alone!

  • Dagney

    Just remember, if you feel it is unfair now, it will NOT get any better.

    Do you like that feeling?

    Do you want to feel the unfairness every minute for the rest of your life?

    You have the power to decide how to live your best live. Choose wisely.

  • never a jw
    never a jw


    I married a JW 22 years ago. She is a good woman who, before marriage accepted that I would never be a JW. She was reproved. Her large JW family did not attend the wedding. The elders later apologized for the harsh treatment. Life is good now, but it could be better and easier. I still struggle to remove the indoctrination from my two children. Things get better slowly, but I could have used my time better.

    in your case, your girlfriend is caving in to the religion, and that in turn means that you have to cave in too. Not good sir!

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    If you don't want to be brain washed into this cult, run like hell as fast as you can. You will end up giving up everything, your family, your former life just because you are thinking with the little head.

  • rastapau

    The problem good sir/maam is that i have a serious disease. I have stage 4 colon cancer. I just want to be with her before i know. Im afraid to tell her about my situation because i dont want her to get back to me just because of my illness. I really dont know what to do. Im depressed, stress physically emotionally and spriritually..

  • Stealth
    Im depressed, stress physically emotionally and spriritually..

    You just described the perfect candidate for cult indoctrination.

    You have been given very good advice here. She used you and so will her religion if you give them the chance!

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