Thanks LisaRose, yes I think serious illness does remind JWs they may die in this system but something else seems to have changed too because she's been here before. In 2003 she had cancer and I sent a card and flowers when I found out. She amazed me by phoning to thank me, it had been twelve years.
I kept in touch while she was ill, it was all one-sided of course. I especially wanted to know when she got her all clear, so phoned several times at the five year mark. She said she would let me know. I found out from my cousin she was all clear, she'd told everyone and been out for a champagne dinner but not told me.
So even cancer didn't change anything but this time it's different there is a definite change, a more human attitude towards me. I can't help hoping her attitude towards the religion is changing to make her treat me better. As Flipper says in his thread, you hope but you are still careful, self-protective.
Thanks Smiddy, I will keep you posted.