Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

by Xanthippe 63 Replies latest jw friends

  • Xanthippe

    Doc actually something along the lines of what you said might help. Many years ago I sent her several letters and when I didn't get a reply I phoned her and asked why. She said it seemed like I was trying to get a reaction from her. So something to say I'm not trying to get her away from her religion (I've never tried) but just sending best wishes because of her heart problem might be a good idea.

    Neat blue dog, good idea show her what normal is. Do you think she'll recognise it or just wonder what I'm after?

  • scratchme1010
    Sister may have had a slight heart attack, do I text her?

    The first think that came to mind was "would she text you if it was the other way around?" However, regardless of how it would be if it was you the one who could use some comfort, you are your own person with your own set of values and morals.

    I won't advise anything other than do what you feel your own values and morals dictate you to do. What makes you feel like a decent human being is what you should do. Trust your own instincts. Follow your rules of decency.

  • FedUpJW

    Don't get sidetracked, make a dig or bring religion into it. Just demonstrate how a normal person would act. That will be good for whoever reads it as they don't see it that often with the folks they spend time with. Kill em with kindness.

    This /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ with a brief "I am sorry to hear about your hospitalization. I hope you get better soon."

  • slimboyfat

    Forget them Xan, you are good. Unless you want to message her for own well-being. Do whatever you want to do. But they’ve forfeited too much consideration in my opinion.

  • LongHairGal


    I agree with sending a simple text that says you ‘heard about her hospitalization and wish her a speedy recovery’.

    This is the best way IMO because you are not begging and groveling for a relationship which is being denied because of religious manipulation; you are communicating your concern and it shows an open line of communication on your part.

    If you do this you should just feel good about yourself and let it GO.. Don’t hold your breath waiting for a tearful reunion worthy of a Hallmark movie, although if it did happen it would be a miracle. The JW religion has done a good job getting members to think they should write people off. They are masters at breaking up families and friendships and getting people to act in an unnatural way. What a human tragedy.

  • Giordano

    I tried out a number of replies for you but failed to find one that measures up. I guess a text would be best.

    My one niece shuns us........she was born 7 years after my wife and I left the religion. Go figure.

    Back in those days, mid 1960's, people who left were not shunned. So we were able to talk to one another and even visit......attend to family business like how are you feeling? How are your children? Joey is graduating high School wow it seems like yesterday he was a little kid running around the family gathering.

    Normal stuff, normal conversations. No hatred....honest expressions of affection.

    Not any more not with the cult that the JW's have turned into.

    It is amazing that it is the apostate who has feelings for the believer. It is the believer who has shut down their normal expressions of love for non believing family members.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear Xanthippe:

    I'm sorry and understand.

    I'm always dreaming -- like last night -- about my kids and their mom whom I never see or hear from. What do I do? I remember Melanie Hamilton Wilkes (Gone With The Wind). When Rhett sent Scarlett to that party dressed in red, he knew what reactions she would get from the party goers. Dirty looks, mutterings, thinly veiled contempt, . . .

    True to form, however, Melanie walks up to Scarlett with a cheerful greeting and brings her round to the guests, including Ashley's sister India.

    'Say hello to our darling Scarlett, India!' Well, as best I recall. Despite Scarlett's hatred for Melanie, Melanie -- the only truly kind person I've ever known, said Rhett -- didn't lower herself to the level of others.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    i wouldnt worry about a dub relative--or former friend-- guarantees them a resurrection into their new world--so every one's happy.

  • Xanthippe

    Tiki and FedUpJW thanks, a simple short get well message might be all that's needed.

    Scratchme I believe in following my instincts, thanks for that reminder. Doing what makes me feel like a decent human being, I believe in that too.

    LongHairGal, yes you're right a simple text and then let it go. Believe me I'm not expecting a tearful reunion but I like your idea I should feel good about it if I decided to do it.

    SBF, I know I do this every so often, ask what to do about my crazy family. Pathetic isn't it? But they are brainwashed after all. There are people on the forum who were in as long as them and still made it out.

    I rarely think about them honestly, it's just that my nonJW cousin keeps in touch with her. Perhaps I should ask her not to mention my siblings although my reaction is always negative whenever she does but she doesn't get the hint. She was brought up normally you see, not a crazy JW. To her family is family no matter what.

    Edit: oh lots of replies while I was typing, thanks so much guys, I'll reply later.

  • myelaine

    A phone call would be better than a text.

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