I Feel Saaaaaad today :(

by ESTEE 44 Replies latest social family


    I would dearly love to send Heather a "Mommy" gift. However, it would be DemonizedTM and she would have to throw it out the instant she found out it was from me.

    Valis, I like your suggestion about giving a gift certificate....hopefully the paper it was printed on would miss out on getting a DemonTM attached to it!!

    Thanks for all your caring responses. I really appreciate an outlet such as this forum to deal with this kind of agonizing issue.

    (((((Hugs back atcha!!)))))


  • simplesally

    Remember the KH is a public place ....... you can go and watch but not attend the reception..... and I'd send a gift through one of the elders since she is so "in"!

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee


  • Scully


    I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You have done everything in your power to show your daughter unconditional motherly love, and yet she continues to shun and reject you.

    I know that you will continue to love and care for your daughter and her well-being regardless of what she does as a loyal JW. Try to remember it is not a reflection on you, but a reflection of how controlled she is, and her unwillingness to see your love for the pure and genuine gift that it is. I hope some day that changes, and she realizes she is missing out on a special relationship with her mom.

    As far as a gift is concerned, you can do some online searches at the usual places where brides have signed up on a bridal registry (The Bay, Macintosh & Watts, etc) and pick something that she likes. You can send it anonymously if you want... she may suspect it is from you, but she will have to contact you to find out. If you send it and identify yourself as the sender, you could be setting yourself up for a disappointment if she keeps the gift and doesn't acknowledge it with a thank you note... or even more hurtful for you, if she returns the gift because she feels it would be an act of disloyalty to the JWs to accept it. On the other hand, there is nothing that says that anyone is obliged to give a gift to anyone. Listen to your heart, it knows the answer.

    Love, Scully

  • oldcrowwoman

    Dear Estee

    My thoughts are with you and to acknowledge how deeply the pain is indescribable losing a connection with a child and to follow their lifes path.

    I wished I had a magic wand to dispel and relieve the pain. What I can do is offer you a rocking chair and a of tea to comfort you and I sit quietly in the room with you. To allow 's to wash your soul.

    To let you know as a Mother myself. I was not invited to attend my daughters wedding. It was a very difficult time. So what I did to take care of myself was treat myself a week-end away and spend the time on Lake Superior. For being near water is a comfort for me.

    I support you in taking care of yourself surrounding this time. In what ever way it fits for you.

    Let you know I am open to PM.

    All the Best, Kathi

  • cruzanheart
    No disrespect intended Nina....

    Sorry I took it wrong, Scoob! It's a grumpy Monday . . . .


  • Xena

    Hey beautiful rose lady,

    I am sorry to hear you are sad. There are a lot of good suggestions here and I really can't think of anything to add to them. Just wanted you to know I was here and thinking about you.

  • talesin


    This shunning is so hurtful, the pain can be physical. We have no choice but to survive it as best we can.

    I'm not a mom, but a daughter, so have dealt with it on the other end. Those we love hurt us the most.

    I have found that spending time with friends, and conversely having alone-time to grieve works for me. Getting out of the house, especially by the ocean, is something I find particularly comforting.

    It's good that you are reaching out to others who understand. Set your radar on 'receive' for all the good intent that is coming your way. If there is anything I can do (listen, share, whatever) please pm me. Gosh, I'm sorry.


  • Double Edge
    Double Edge


    I wonder if she's going to invite some 'worldly' friends/family? hmmmm, if so, what in the world would she say when they ask where you are? I hope she's honest with them, because if she is, she's never going to be looked at in the same way again by those 'worldlies'.

  • Prudence


    A Hug for you


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