by ESTEE 44 Replies latest social family
Today I found out through my ex sisters-in-law that my jw daughter, Heather is engaged and will be getting married on September 21. I am not invited. I am trying to deal with the shock and the pain of realizing that I am going to miss out on seeing my daughter get married...because I am df'd and she is shunning me. How do I live through this?
ESTEE
Oh Estee!!
I'm so sorry for you. I can only think of one small piece of advice to give you.
Asking for advice on this forum about such a tough thing will mainly illicit only one type of response, and I think you know what that is. It would be much like you going to directly to the elders and asking their advice.....it would be one sided. Each presenting their point of view of whats right. I reckon you are better speaking to your daughter and trying (and I know maybe for the umpteenth time) about how much this means to you to be there. I realise its not as simple as a post reply can convey, but its as realistic as the next reply you'll get on here./
I really wish you well.
(((( Estee)))))
FWIW, I agree with the Scoob. Tell her how you feel, that you love her and it's every mother's wish to see her daughter's wedding. If there's some way to do it without accusing, try to make her think of how she'll feel in 10 years if she excludes her own mother from the wedding. Remember too, she may want you at the wedding deep down, but will be under pressure to "be strong" and will also be getting lots of attention right now because of "doing the right thing."
Poor Estee. I hope something gets through to her.
Odrade
All I can say is wow that really is so sad.
Estee
I'm so sorry to hear about that! I don't know what kind of relationship, if any, you've been able to maintain with your daughter, so all I can relate is my own experience.
My father was never a JW, but I didn't invite him to my wedding because he was 'worldly' and very opposed to JW's. He honored my wishes and didn't come, but sent a generous gift via my 'worldly' sister, who was invited.
He never said anything to make me feel guilty afterward, but I began to feel bad anyway. Eventually, I decided to make an effort to improve our relationship.
I sincerely hope she comes to regret the cruelty of shunning, and makes an effort to rebuild her relationship with you.
Walter
Estee...send them anice cardand gift certificate...you can place good odds on it being used...*LOL* Besides, it should be no suprise to you such a thing would happen..seemingly nice people can be the worst hypocrites when it comes to sharing nice moments by displaying loving kindness.....especially to one's own family members. Cheer up and send them something anyway....IMO that is the gracious act by far.
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
Oh my. . ((((Estee))))
I am here for you ((((((Estee)))))) if you need a hearing ear.
Will
Asking for advice on this forum about such a tough thing will mainly illicit only one type of response, and I think you know what that is.
Hey, Scooby, don't put us all in one barrel, please. Just because most of us used to be JW's doesn't mean we all think alike or give the same response. The diversity of opinion is what I really LIKE about this forum.
Estee, I think you should follow your heart on this one. If you feel that calling your daughter would be too confrontational, then sending her a nice gift and card would be great. However badly she is behaving, she IS your daughter and somewhere down the road she may need her mama again, and you will have graciously left the door open for her. Wouldn't it be nice to show her REAL Christian behavior?
Love,
Nina
No disrespect intended Nina...... I was of course speaking generally here from past experiences.. This board is a so much nicer when it is a place of support, rather than a whipping board. The quote of mine you used and highlighted was meant in context with the rest I wrote. I wish Estee much love and agree with your sentiments entirely.
