JW story - "husbands JW beliefs ruining the family" - on Dr. Phil today

by ShirleyW 44 Replies latest jw friends

  • Scully

    Hi Shirley

    The wife did actually say that the Elders™ told the husband that he should shun her because she is an Apostate™ and that she is causing Spiritual Endangerment™ for him.

    On another note:

    I agree that CPS has cause to remove the children from the home. Robert is not the son's biological father, so why is he dealing with the bedwetting situation and not the mother? And why is the child so terrified about wetting the bed that he hides wet pyjamas and clothing, and goes to school smelling of urine? And why would he tell the school that Robert pushed him out the window, when he in fact jumped, if not to try to remove Robert from the home? People don't get reported to CPS 7 times for nothing. IMO, the child isn't lying, the acting out is a cry for help.

    Tatiana (the mother) said she felt manipulated by Robert into joining the JWs. To me, there's something not right about Robert. There's no emotional response from him AT ALL.

    BTW, I loved when Dr. Phil said that when a church tries to come between a husband and a wife and their children, IT'S TIME TO FIND ANOTHER CHURCH.

  • dubstepped

    Whew, just watched that and the lady needs to quit being so defensive. I think she may be for a few reasons. First, she said something to those elders about her husband or they wouldn't have called CPS. She acts like she doesn't know what was said. Come on. There will be repercussions maritally though, so she's trying to plead ignorance. Second, she's lived a life that was unfair to her already as a JW. Third, she is the bad guy for leaving the JWs and went through that unfair process. So I get her anger, but like he said, she needs to be less combative.

    Ultimately I thought it was a great anti-witness. There were numerous and legitimate shots at JWs. I thought Dr. Phil handled it all quite well. He even went so far as to have an ex-JW counselor from Free Minds offer help and an ex-JW person chime in at the very end. So he no doubt knows what a cult it is. I thought the husband looked pissed off after those two ex-dubs were brought in, lol.

    All in all, a good show. I feel for the kids caught up in this mess.

  • Wild_Thing
    Totally agree: the elders in this instance did the right thing.


    They absolutely did the right thing. But the husband is obviously a fringe witness, at best. What I have observed in the organization is that the elders seem more willing to do the right thing if the person in question is "spiritually weak" versus someone who holds a position of authority. I have seen first hand where a body of elders will protect an abuser (seemingly) because he is a fellow elder, but when a fringer is accused, they all of a sudden grow a conscience.

    When they said that the elders reported him to CPS, I thought, "Of course they did! Because you're a nobody in the congregation." That guy kind of gave me the creeps. There is something off about him. I am glad they reported him, but they are the exception, rather than the rule, and I wish the show had pointed it out.

  • zeb

    Its a fair bet that jw will watch this all over..

  • zophar

    The elders would have contacted the WT legal dept if they were following instructions. The legal department would have been the ones directing the elders to call CPS. Does this mean they are finally getting the point?

    Not necessarily. Because of the two witness rule they probably would have felt the testimony of the husband and wife, probably revealed while they were bickering back and forth in front of the elders, would have been all they needed to report.

    One thing I don't understand about the two witness rule they insist on using. While they could apply that to congregational judicial procedures, it doesn't have to apply to secular governmental procedures. They could make life so much easier for themselves legally if they just always reported to legal authorities what they hear and let the secular legal system play itself out. That way the congregation would be informed every time of an accusation because of the legal proceedings against the accused. Also, if the accused is innocent, that would be determined through a legal process, not a spiritual judicial process.

  • LV101

    Yes -- I concur -- the elders certainly did do the right thing but I was shocked when I heard the statement. It's about time! It makes them look responsible and caring about children so something is going on out there in JW land.

    I'm not comfortable with the father's zipper situation - he might be innocent but Dr. Phil mentioned 8 times (at one point) the child protection services had been involved --- 8 times!! Unreal. Some crazy going on. Those poor children -- it's heart breaking. Seems the punishment re/the little boy was not a big deal on the show and they pictured his bedroom (bed) and a paddle or something on the night stand used for discipline? -- that really bothered me but there was so much going on I don't think it could be dealt with in one episode.

    There's another topic on this that was started earlier today.

  • LV101

    darkspilver -- didn't the wife/mother make the statement to Dr. Phil that her attorney told her to write out all the information per the CPS' reports. I heard her being defensive about Dr. Phil's statement.

  • smiddy3

    I watched it today via this forum and thought over-all it was a great anti-witness .When Dr.Phil said words to this effect that if a religious organization shunned my wife and she wasn`t welcome their then i wouldn`t want to be their either.And the audience clapped in agreement.

    So I don`t think anybody who saw this show would entertain becoming a JW overall they were shown in a bad light.

  • LV101

    Scully -- spot on re/the child and his issues -- segment of the show upset me and I felt relieved the children were not around the husband until proved innocent. At least CPS is involved and on top of him.

  • JaniceA

    CPS is watching out for the kids. There are red flags in the family. Was there an option for him to leave the home that they rejected? Foster care is not usually the first resort unless there are serious concerns. Did she put her husband before the kids?

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