Gor blimey, Uni. I bleedin' wonder how many jobos pretend it's all 'Stepford' but are dying inside secretly?
I am grateful for leaving the watchtower corporation. Innit!
@Punk - yeah ... there even could be a temptation to put your head in the sand and just carry on as if everything's a-ok.
My wife of x amount of years is beautiful, the sex is regular and usually great ... but it's not real. She doesn't love me. The whole thing's a load of bollo.
Do I just go with the flow and be largely comfortable and ignore the something lurking at the back of my mind, or do I leave - at great personal cost - and spend a lot of effort in starting again ... with no guarantee that I'll find anyone else!
I still think we've made the right decision to leave the WT.
I know I'm a weirdo, but I kinda enjoy the fact that life's meaningless.
It frees me from the struggle of trying to find meaning in everything; trying to make all the pieces fit.
I'm no longer interested in even creating a coherent meaningful story to explain the events in the arc of my life.
Yeah, work sucks. It's work, it's supposed to. But, my weekends are mine and if I don't have anything more meaningful to do than look forward to a good cup of coffee in the morning and a perusal of the internet in the afternoon, then that's fine by me.
Oh, and some good quality laundry time. God, I love the smell of laundry soap and bleach!
Uni - I don't believe in altruism anymore. We're all rotten bleeders at heart.
GT - Oh, yes. I'm with you there. Even the laundry.
Hey Punko, I agree with lots of what you wrote, but with your depressive thoughts and nihilistic outlook I was wondering how much joy you find. Life tends to have the meaning we give it.
So what do you enjoy post-cult? What makes you happy, even if we all know the eventuality? I've enjoyed your posts over time, so they meant something to me.
dub -how much joy you find.
Not a great deal. People disappoint me immensely.
So what do you enjoy post-cult?
I've been looking for a big finish, in terms of good happening. I realise that that is just watchtower(tm) thinking. I enjoy coffee and cake in town with my daughter.
Watching 'University Challenge' with another family member.
I've enjoyed doing all the book writing....the first of which was a very sexually explicit and violent novel. It has jobos in it too.
I'm working on poetry books now in a kind of anarchic fight against pretentious people that find hidden meanings in poems, thereby, making it all about themselves.
I play on a '70's cover band. It's okay but I don't really like doing covers of other people's songs....problem is...no one likes original stuff much....plus I'm old, with a face so wrinkled I'm having a skin graft from my nut sack. The music scene is just so 'corporate'. ...and I don't want to perform free gigs or open mics.
Anyway, thanks for asking.
@punkofnice: "I'm old, with a face so wrinkled I'm having a skin graft from my nut sack."
My sweet lord.
Dare I ask, what was your first STI? The Plague?
PS: Which genre from the 70s??? You're tapping into my world, now...
JoHo - First STI was definitely the black death.
I am a bacon boy!
That is awesome!!! (not the Black Death part, but your band)
The 70s and 80s saw some incredible music from English composers. I had a thing with Jimmy Kaleth (lead singer from Jonesy and Gold) back in '10. He's in Brighton right now. Still on friendly terms : ). Don't want to hijack your thread, but have to share this oldie from Jonesy:
Hey punk I went through some of the things you did. I also went to a local community Church for about 6 months and came to the conclusion of there being no god. The depression, anxiety and self doubt over whelm me foe a while. After about a year I started to pick myself and found a part time job. At that point my self esteem came back.
A week does not go by where I am telling our new friends how destructive this cult is. I look at the cult as slow death by malnutrition where you get weaker and weaker.
I have been reading a lot lately one of my favorite authors is Robert Fulghum. I am in the middle of one of his first books "All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten" Uncommon Thoughts On Common Things. His books consist of many 2-4 page stories. They are simple to read but have deep meanings. They are uplifting, funny and sobering. For a guy like me with ADD his books are perfect. For me I find his writings help to see were I am and were I am going.
Here in the U.S. listening to much to politics is like banging your head against a wall. Please forgive my ignorance by asking this. What are your books about? Cult did teach us one thing advertise, advertise, advertise. Thank you for your insightful post. Still Totally ADD