I am grateful for leaving the watchtower corporation. Innit!
I dislike long topics......so here it is.
I suffered for my religion, now it's your turn.
When I first left the corporation my life exploded into a suicidal chaos.
My family broke up. I lost my so called friends.
Luckily, I had worldly friends from all walks of life that supported me, even though they had no idea why I was so suicidal. in as much as they hadn't left cults.
I went from the corporation to a Baptist church. I still have very fond memories of it. They actually worshipped god, unlike the jobos.
Anyway (anyways in Americanese), cut to the chase.
What am I grateful for after leaving the corporation?
1. I now understand depression and suicidal feelings. I can actually talk to people about this subject in a non judgemental way...as it should be.
2. I learned to think critically. Although I still find this a bit hard.
3. I can confidently say that I am a Nihilist. There is no god. Never was. Never will be. It really doesn't take much to work it out but it took me ages. It was in a church that I had this revelation. All those prayers to an invisible bloke that doesn't talk back. What a messed up relationship that f###er is! I realised that no one was listening and certainly NOT answering. It's pure and simply a delusion. A delusion that I actually miss.
4. I see life for what it is; a breif struggle against pain before the void of dreamless sleep...grim reaper shizzle.
5. I have become an unsuccessful author of many different books. One with help of my friends here and other places.
6. Politics, society, it's all a game. Made up. Make belief. Made up by someone. IT's not real. It's just that we go along like sheep with the masses. Sheeple.
7. I realise not many people care about much apart from that which surrounds them. That's it...no one cares. Certainly, no one cares about the jobo cult who was never involved. I don't care about the Christadelphians, as an example. Never been involved. Don't know any of them. Think whoever they are must be under a delusion.
8. Religion is all crap. In this PC age of pussyfooting around in case we offend someone that bloody well deserves offending.............be religious if you want, just don't shove it in my face as if I should care. I don't. Not one bit. It's a farce. Come back and tell me about it after you die. See? They never do.
9. I am thankful that I got away from that weirdo cult. They shun me. Up yours watchtower. Your loss.
10. I'll think of a ten later.
Nihilist. You see as Schopenhauer indicated, everything ends in disappointment.
I'm in rather a humorous mood, so please read the irony and satire in this.
11. I am grateful to this forum for being brutal yet honest. It has helped me think twice before 'anecdotal' evidence is proffered.
12. Arseholes to the Governing body of the jobo cult.
When I first left it it was like riding an emotional roller-coaster with extreme highs and devastating lows but exciting as hell.
Research became an addiction in fact still is, whenever I was alone or had free time I would read whatever I could and the rush I got from doing so was intoxicating like breathing for the first time. I didn't watch you tubes straight away they seemed too scary but when I did couldn't get enough of them either.
Those were the highs the lows came because I was completely alone in doing so and I was terrified of getting caught. The realisation that there was no turning back caused me to have panic attacks. In fact I have never felt so alone but there was no way I was going to stop so I felt caught between a rock and a hard place. I was so unhappy those last few years in it was a relief to be getting some control back in my life even if it was covert.
Slowly slowly I am learning to deal to cope.
Everyone still there but gone like ghosts or am I the ghost because I'm still here but gone to them too.
Glad to have left that crazy-arse religion but it was tough in the way that only someone that has gone through it would know what it was like to be JW and how crushingly painful it is to wake up and leave.
So if you've never been a JW you don't get to say how I should feel or react or that I 'm just imagining it or WT is really just misunderstood and not so bad...etc blah blah stop gaslighting me!
But hey, the butterfly has to struggle for some time to emerge from a cocoon and it can only do it alone.
4. I see life for what it is; a breif struggle against pain before the void of dreamless sleep...grim reaper shizzle - this is how animals live in the wild but our lives can be so much more. You yourself took a break from the 'brief struggle against pain' to write a book (or was it 2 books?). And human beings are quite a long-lived species.
I agree with numbers 9. and 12.
Sparrah - Everyone still there but gone like ghosts or am I the ghost because I'm still here but gone to them too.
This touched me. I love the poetry in this statement.
I think you are quire the artist.
the butterfly has to struggle for some time to emerge from a cocoon and it can only do it alone.
Like the caterpillar said when it saw the flutterby, 'you'll never get me up in one of those things.'
I salute you Sparrowdown. I bow and sweep my cap on a large arc.
Amen brother Punky! Amen!
Aw tah, punk.
Your post inspired me.
Lol at the caterpillar, never heard that one before.
UNI - You are the voice of reason, and for this I thank you.
I still believe life is meaningless though. I have to say, I try to live each day with positives, now. It's difficult. Once a bell is rung it can't be unrung, rang, whatever.
13. You can't help who you fall in love with. Sod what the WBT$ says. Up yours Governing body....and in some cases, you've enjoyed that yet still clung to the cult. I pity you. Twats.
Stucky - You're my friend. Big shout out to you.
Thanks for the Post Punky ! your story, or should I say trajectory, is very similar to mine, and like the Sparrah, I love learning and research, you're never too old !
I am so pleased I left the Cult, and learned what it really is, a huge SCAM !
Life as a rational thinking realist is so much better. It often comes to mind how I used to get a "sinking" feeling when I was a Jobo, when things were said about "how wonderful..." various of their concepts were, or that there was an upcoming Arsembly or something, basically how depressed the religion made me.
Yes, my "Black Dog" as Churchill called his depression, is never far away, but at least now I can boot it up the arse and send it scuttling off, I could not do that while I was in, and I nearly topped myself eventually.
I was saved by leaving, by finding support on this place, and by being made to laugh by guys like yourself.
I am so thankful I left, I began to really live from then on.
...and thanks for the comment(tm) Phuzzy.
I am so thankful I left, I began to really live from then on.
I think finding out TTATT is maybe a bit like discovering that your marriage is a complete sham.
Let's say a guy is married to a beautiful woman, the love of his life. But he discovers she doesn't love him one bit.
She loves, and has always loved, her first boyfriend from ages ago. What does the guy do?
The best thing for him to do would be to be honest about things and accept that his wife doesn't love him and that the marriage is a sham.
Easy to say but it can very difficult and painful to do.
Then the guy has a chance of finding happiness with a partner who really loves him.
'The truth' is like that marriage - a complete sham ...