by run dont walk 24 Replies latest jw friends
This thread is going south...First oldcrowwomen lost control of her bodily functions and now stillajwexelder has given me graphic info on sexual psitions.
I remember one poor brother who ended up giving two talks on masturbation about fopur weeks apart.
I told him it was because as a carpenter he was familiar with erections.....
I am a sort of shy person, so I DREADED going door to door.
Marianne
Yes -- I know that no elder enjoyed giving Outline number 13 -- "A Godly View of Sex and Marriage" and there were obvious embarrassments and anxieties in the hall at the time with the brothers and sisters -- I personally had no real anxieties --but I never enjoyed meeting a work colleague while I was out on service -- I hated that. If feelings of anxiety ever came up just went to a very stanadrd presentation on tthe lines of "Would you like to read a copy of the latest WT/Awake?" -nice and simple and if they refused just said OK Thankyou very much - have a nice day
I saw myself down the road as being one of those 50-60 something single-never-married, non-title holding bros who's lives are unimaginably dull.
All of the above....
and the knowledge (at ten years old) that I would have to "one day" tell my parents, that I didn't want to be a witness anymore. I loved my father dearly, People refered to me as "his shadow". I remember sitting through meetings biting my finger-nails off as I envisioned telling him.
but going in service, and giving talks were perhaps the most "immediate" fears I had back then... hated it. I would wet the bed every friday, night because I knew we had to go knocking on doors the next morning. He used to say it was because I had a "guilty concience".... I say "it just flat out scared the piss out of me"
Aint freedom jes wonderful?
1) working a territory in which I might encounter someone I went to school with
2) Giving talks
3) Getting anyone at home out in service - I became very good at knocking VERY quietly or always pawning my turn off on someone else.
I was always terrified of inadvertently doing something to stumble someone else, and be accountable (aka "bloodguilty") for their (a) leaving The Truth™ or (b) not accepting The Truth™.
The last thing I wanted to do as a JW was to Bring Reproach on Jehovah™. Not that I was a bad person or anything, I just was so afraid of being a disappointment to Jehovah that I often did more than I needed to do, or even really wanted to do. I just thought that if I could do that little bit extra, everything would be fine. Didn't work out that way. Things only got "fine" (or better) when I started concentrating more on me and my family and what was in our best interests, rather than on Jehovah.
Frankly, I enjoy Bringing Reproach on Jehovah™ these days. Jehovah never did anything for me, and He™ and his "Witnesses" have done a lot more damage than I could ever hope to accomplish on my own. If "Jehovah" smites me for that, all I can say to Him™ is "WhatEVER! Take Your frikking millstone and stick it where the sun doesn't shine!!"
Love, Scully
being destroyed at armageddon. there was absolutely no question in my mind, i was gonna get it and i knew it. i spent seven years being literally terrified that the big A was going to come and wipe me off the face of the earth. horrid.
Giving talks (this was by far the worst)
Saying prayer at KH meetings (almost as bad as talks, but not quite because you can give the same one over and over)
Going door to door (I just could not do this at all once I started having questions about the WTS)
Being a guy, I got to actually do public speaking when I gave talks (instead of participating in those dreadful skits they stuck the chicks with :) and I loved giving talks... in fact I still love public speaking to this day (although the general public seems to fear it more than death).
I was also very afraid of meeting school friends in service.
I was afraid of how my mom would treat me if I didn't constantly impress her with how faithful I was. (Getting hit across the back of the legs with a Hot Wheels track should be proof of telekinesis).
