The following were my anxieties -
1. Getting someone at the door who actually knew something about the Bible.
2. Going out with the CO and actually having to do that donation presentation "Our work is supported by voluntary donations. There is no charge for our litterature but if you would like to give to the worldwide work I'd be happy to accept" then staying silent to wait for a reply.
1. Having to conduct the bookstudy, especially finding out I had to after ariving at the hall and not having read a thing.
2 The 15 minute school talk after having written it an hour before the meeting.
3. Going to the meeting.
4. Not going to the meeting.
5. Thinking something must be wrong with me while I sat listening to the parts because I didn't feel like I was living in a "spiritual paradise" nor did I find joy in the ministry like all those pioneers claimed.
Gatherings (Parties for all you worldly types out there):
1. Always having to sit through experiences. Every single gathering was like going to a meeting. We could never just have a party and party. It always had to have a spiritual angle and you couldn't cut loose.
2. When meeting a sister and engaging in small talk pretending my goals in life were to pioneer and work where the need is greater, then perhaps become a missionary, and not having kids until the New System, etc.
3. Rarely any alchohol.
1. Not being able to call my worldy friends "friends" but "aquaintences" in front of other Witnesses because we don't have friends in the world. (I still have friends from high school to this day and I'm 37).
2. Feeling guilty for not recipricting fully worldy friendships.
3. Feeling guilty because I planned on going to my 20 year high school reunion and having a speaker at one of the Ministierial Training Schools berate anyone who would go to such an event.
1. Feeling guilty for reading Crisis of Conscience and In Search of Christian Freedom.
2. Hiding my true feelings about the organization from my wife and friends.
3. Sneaking to another church without telling my wife.
4. Finally telling my wife and having her feak out! (We're cool now though)
Well, that's all I can think of now but I'm sure more will pop into my head later.