There are only 4 ways to leave the Jehovah's Witnesses
I began a fade actually a long time before I had heard the term because I didn't wish to hurt anyone nor give certain ones the pleasure of hearing my name read out.
This topic is a nice recap from my book "Escape from Paradise" from the chapter entitled "Death may be the easiest way."
Page 208 says "...many hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, do leave the Watch Tower organization... However, there are only four ways to leave the Jehovah's Witness faith once you ave been baptized into it, and none of them are pretty. These are: disfellowshipping, disassociation, fading, and death."
The entire chapter is dedicated to explaining all the variations of each of these ways and how they affect those who have to go through whichever way their situation takes them.
This chapter was written primarily for those who are not associated with the JWs so they can understand what we ex-JWs had to go through, as well as to memorialize those among our families and friends who decided that death was the easiest way out.
Alanv- Fading doesnt need to be a tricky one.
I don't agree. Fading means you will still be shunned by most of your friends. You will also need to constantly be aware of what you are doing that may be observed and get you disfellowshipped for many years to come.
DF isn't a method of leaving the religion, when you think about it. A person can remain a practicing jw and still be DF. DF is just a disciplinary status.
5. Just walk out never to go back and be completely left alone with a clean slate forever like you were never there in the first place because you have dirt on elders and a bunch of dodgy brothers and sisters and the fallout will be just to messy for them to deal with.
6. Walk away cold turkey without fading or having dirt on anyone. Just quit without notice and completely stop all jw-related activities and contact. You may be DF in absentia, or not.
Yes, there are always going to be consequences to leaving the JW religion.
But, when you've had it you've had it. The easiest way was to just stop going, screen phone calls and look before you answer the door. I didn't have family there and my friends were few so I didn't have much to lose.
In my case, I planned my "fade" and stopped going on a particular day. I remember the strange but good feeling I had when I stayed home from the meeting on a cold weeknight. It was also wonderful getting much needed sleep on weekends since I was still working then.
In time, when I encountered certain JWs in stores some would talk to me. Others would try to ignore me or their politeness was abrupt...At this point, who cares?
If you were once baptized into the JW religion and you wanted to leave it, there are only four ways that someone can describe your status, that is, once you are out for good:
All of them are bad.
Disfellowshipping is a disciplinary status; that is true. And some might want to stay in the religion after being DFed. That is fine. I am talking about if you want to stay out. For good. If so, you will have to describe yourself in terms that fit one of those first three ways. (Of course, you can't describe yourself as the fourth, but someone else could.)
The "I just walked away and never went back" trick is a form of fading. I did that myself. I still lost all of my so-called friends, etc., just as if I were DFed or DAed. And perhaps you can fade quickly and never face an elder's meeting that would result in your possible DFing or DAing, fine. You still faded (in my definition of it.) You just did the quick fade. "Quitting cold turkey" is still fading. You still lose every so-called friend you ever had in the religion and to other JWs, they will have you in mind for a very long time until they come to grips that you are now gone. If you run into them, they will ask about where you are at.
Even if you leave the area like I did and not have to face other JWs during your "quick, cold-turkey fade" you will still think like a JW and be hindered by that mindset for MANY years. In reality, you can't really quit cold-turkey - you have to decide to quit, and then muddle through years of figuring out who the heck you are, "fading" from the brain washing you had.
Every one of you who is reading this now, if you were once a JW and now consider yourself not, you experienced one of these ways to get out. Some of you might have experienced more than one. Maybe you tried to fade and were DFed. Maybe someone was DFed and then couldn't take the stress and committed suicide.
You can't leave the Jehovah's Witness religion as a baptized publisher and not go through at least one of those painful, life-diminishing ways.
what rebel8 said - if you've totally had it with all the lies and flip flops and bullshit the Borg comes up with just walk away, never to attend a meeting again, you will phone calls but just tell them to leave you alone it's your life, etc. if you get DFd in absentia, if you're not going back shouldn't really bother you, but some have had letters sent by attorneys saying any action taken without their permission and they will suffer legal consequeces
La SWT quiere tu dinero, tu tiempo, tus talentos, habilidades, familia, es decir. Todo y completo.
Pero.... hay una 5ta. Forma.
no darles nada.
no dinero, no tiempo, no apoyo.Entonces les dejas de importar. y ya no te buscan porque ya no les produces.
I had discussions with our friends and elders I wrote a letter to the Watchtower with my concerns and I phoned the elders several times and asked them to visit me to discuss the letter. We eventually had the meeting I was not disfellowshipped. I had stopped meeting attendance and field service. I don't consider that fading.