Suffering with "Bridge-over-River-Kwai-syndrome" while fading

by OneGenTwoGroups 15 Replies latest jw experiences

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  DJS

  What Rebel8 said. Times 1000.

  TwoGroups, major kudos on using the BOTRK reference. Excellent. Major points deducted for the rest of it. Unless you are attending meetings because someone has a gun held to your head, I'm not feeling it.

  Cold turkey or fade. Those are your options (I'm assuming telling everyone, during your next talk, that they are in a death dealing cult run by evil DarkLords isn't an option).

  While you are there I would suggest: sleeping, playing with your smart phone - routinely getting up to go take/make 'important' phone calls, checking out the hot sisters (or brothers, or both, whatever your flavor(s)), or shooting yourself in the head with a nail gun full of rusty nails.

  Otherwise, why spend any energy worrying about these dysfunctional misfits and what they do or don't do? It's akin to going to the all you can eat buffet and lamenting that you are surrounded by obese losers and trying to get them to choose a low cal option (yeah, right). The solution? Don't go.

  You aren't in denial; there is hope for you. Good luck.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  The following is my opinion based on what I have experienced.

  To "fade away" is to be less and less noticed. I get that this is hard for you, but really- if you want to fade, you have to at least stop raising your hand, try harder to arrive barely before meetings and leave right away afterward. Let people get used to you not being there. Really really really consider not being at any building/remodeling projects. (Luckily, they are so cash plagued that they might not be doing any in your area.)
  
  Saying hello sounds wonderful, but these people will miss you when you finally make a move to reduce meetings. Don't go out of your way. The same people who love you might turn on you later. Try being cordial and waving on your way out the door.
  
  Sing if you want. Don't re-join the frigging school.
• 

  Divergent

  DJS:

  While you are there I would suggest: ..... checking out the hot sisters

  There were none. One of the reasons why I faded
• 

  OneGenTwoGroups

  Situation: zealot wife, mom, and dad. Parents are old and in extremely poor health. Have an IT project I'm trying to get off the ground with zealot JW friend. Once it's up and running, then I will stop going and try not to get dfd.

  I enjoy taking my mom out to lunch when I visit her, I don't want that to ever change.
• 

  snare&racket

  Be careful, this stuff is emotionally and mentally addictive, feeding the hunger of a guilt monster that has been artificially grown in you via the JW's.

  There are far healthier options for your time, energy and efforts.

  if I may humbly note, think of the consequences of just one bible reading if just one person listens, think of the consequences of helping the build of even just one more church. The consequences of just one morning in ministry if just one householder is swayed.

  Honestly, having left the religion, I look back with few regrets, but there are some. Firstly I am sad for every year I did not leave. We live short, fragile lives. Wasted in that religion! Secondly I feel so guilt for the people I studied with and for the talks I did. I have some relief in the fact I wasn't an elder etc as I am not sure I could forgive myself for being part of a JC or disfellowshiping. Also, not one of the people stood on that KH platform are qualified to teach anything. All data is sourced from one place, the J.w's and with such bias no truth can be found.

  Be careful when playing with fire, playing with a cult... Even if you don't get burned, someone else and their family may.....
• 

  TTATT_Paladin

  "Just when you thought you were out, they pulled you back in!"