Suffering with "Bridge-over-River-Kwai-syndrome" while fading

by OneGenTwoGroups 15 Replies latest jw experiences

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  OneGenTwoGroups

  I've never liked being late for meetings, 10 minutes early has always been 5 minutes late for me. I'm a very punctual atheist at the meetings still.

  When someone asks a simple question from the platform and not one dummy raises their hand, I still feel the need to raise my hand so that we don't all look like idiots.

  My shoes still need to be clean and polished, my suits and ties match and are in good shape. I never wear them anywhere else.

  I still feel like saying hello to people that are obviously being ignored by everyone else.

  People not singing out still bugs me, LOL. Hey, we're supposed to be singing!

  Recently I've thought about re-joining the school, but limiting myself to just Bible readings, why? boredom?

  Not sticking around to talk afterwards still feels bizarre, even though I usually leave earlier now than I used to. I would lock up many times not too long ago.

  I still talk fondly of LDC (formerly RBC) work, and may do some more before my fade is through.

  Not sure how much more of this "Lieutenant Colonel Nicholson" I'm going to generate for myself.
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  scratchme1010

  I think I understand the feeling. Question, are you replacing any of those things you're fond of with something? Walking away without having something to fill the void (don't like that expression but can't find a better one) may not help the fading process.

  Part of fading is building a life with fulfilling activities, and looking for better, healthier, self-loving ways of meeting your needs, not just disappearing from the congregation.
  
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  TimeBandit

  I admire the strength it must take to be an active JW knowing what you know about them. I hope your fade goes well. It's interesting to hear things from the point of view of someone like yourself, still in but knowing the truth about the truth. Thanks for sharing this 1gen. Keep us posted on how things are going.

  TB-
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  FayeDunaway

  You're a responsible person, and socially very conscientious. These are good things. Plus, old habits die hard. Hopefully you can find a new outlet for these things, one that actually agrees with you instead of causing internal battles.
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  atomant

  Try missing one meeting a month and use that time to research the jw;s.lt will soon dawn on you why you are missing one meeting a month.Then build up to 2 meetings a month.etc.
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  rebel8

  Answering questions, giving talks--hell, just showing up--has the potential impact of inadvertently helping recruitment and retention. You are another person that others look to as an example of a happy JW.

  Go and build a life worth living.

  Polish your shoes and wear your suits out to dinner at a nice restaurant. Give talks at Toastmasters. Say hello to the ignored people at atheist meetup groups. Join a choir. There. I just replaced all of your positive jw activities.
  
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  Crabby

  Do you ever ask anyone to pull your finger when it's quiet?
  
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  OneGenTwoGroups

  Answering questions, giving talks--hell, just showing up--has the potential impact of inadvertently helping recruitment and retention. You are another person that others look to as an example of a happy JW.
  Go and build a life worth living.
  Polish your shoes and wear your suits out to dinner at a nice restaurant. Give talks at Toastmasters. Say hello to the ignored people at atheist meetup groups. Join a choir. There. I just replaced all of your positive jw activities.

  I sometimes wonder what's worse, fading from NAMBLA or fading from the JW cult.
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  stuckinarut2

  Agree with scratchme's comments above.

  For an outgoing person, we must find another outlet for the routine....
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  OneGenTwoGroups

  Do you ever ask anyone to pull your finger when it's quiet?

  
  

  It's on the list now. LOL