What Dubstepped said!!!
Jehovah’s Witnesses Really Have No Power Over You Unless YOU Let It Happen!
To DA or not should be a decision based upon your circumstances and what you wish to achieve, but I am sure you are all aware, if you DA the result is the same as if you were DF'd.
I dearly wanted to DA when I first left, simply to cut all ties, so I was not thought of as a JW, and to remove any power from the JDubs.
I decided not to as my aged parents and my siblings would the have nothing to do with me.
This , "The Fade" has worked out well, my JW family still talk, a bit, and old JW people I once knew and thought of as friends, still talk too.
The only power the Elders have is to DF me if they catch me out in something worthy of the honour, but now my parents are gone, I really don't care too much. I Vote, I donate blood, I smoke etc etc I may get caught but stuff 'em !
I had no "in" people/relatives to worry about so I decided after many years on this site even though I had stopped associating with the witnesses for decades ,that I would D.A. myself from the JW`s religion .
To me that was like I was taking the upper hand and disfellowshiping the organization from me , and not them D.F. me.
And regardless of how they viewed it ,and I don`t care ,I found it satisfying for me.
I D.A. /D.F. them and not them me.
I am not a fan of disassociating yourself because you are accepting their options. Disassociation is a a Organizational bullshit bogus option. The same goes with the idea of you were told to come to a judicial meeting. You don’t have to go to a judicial meeting you are not under their rules
I don't believe you need to DA yourself to send the middle finger to the borg but I can see why some choose to.
I think for many it's more about the principle of resigning officially from a demonstrably wrong group and draws a thick black line under that chapter in their lives.
First, for many of us we never had power to give them. They took it when we were kids and held it over us. That's why Angus Stewart referred to it as a "captive organization". You can't give away that which you never had.
Second, you're accepting their options whether you DF, DA, or fade. To say otherwise is to fool yourself to try to feel powerful. The only difference is that for many DA or DF ends playing their game while fading prolongs it. There are considerations to be had for sure. You avoided my question about taking your dad to the meeting for some reason. Was that you?
All of us are still impacted by it on some level or we wouldn't be here (you for 16 long years). We're all accepting their bullshit options if we had people we cared about in or around it. The rest is all puffery.
We chose to DA because of our own circumstances. You don't have to like it. I don't like that anyone would take their relatives to those indoctrination sessions. I don't like lots of things others do, but I respect that they may feel it's the best option for them, because we all have to choose their bullshit options, of which even fading is one.
Other than to virtue signal and feel somehow superior, I don't get the point of these threads. Are you trying to help others in some way to bolster them against the Borg or to feel better about your own path? Or maybe you DAd or were DFd and you think the grass would have been greener had you taken a different course? Some other reason? It seems more divisive than supportive, but maybe you see it differently.
Dubstepped I agree - periodically these sorts of threads surface which regurgitate a set view that brooks no acknowledgement that prople’s circumstances vastly differ even when the religious affiliation has been the same.
No matter whether you DA, DF, or fade, the organization still holds your family and friends hostage against you inside it (at least if you’re a born-in like me). My personal choice was to leave with as little dishonesty or beating around the bush as possible, and I was already disfellowshipped before the thought of leaving ever crossed my mind so that meant no trying to get reinstated just to live a lie for awhile.
I agree that this type of thread about DAing versus Fading pops up occasionally and that there are two schools of thought depending on the circumstances of the person involved.
As long as nobody gets into a name-calling match, who cares whether somebody chooses one or the other? In the past, I have seen certain ex-JWs get all pissy about how “over” the religion they are like it’s some sort of a contest.
I “walked away/faded” back in 2001. I had several friends there. Now I have almost none because the last one is drawing further away - no doubt because the religion is amping up the paranoia. That’s why I like to keep up with the forum to see what’s going on there.
At this point I wouldn’t care what they did or said about me. I have told several Witnesses over the years how I feel and that I’m retired and glad I didn’t listen to Witness bullshit. Word travels fast and surely they know I want nothing to do with it anymore.
Dub, I think you have me confused with someone else. My father was not a JW and didn’t attend meetings