How many JDubs would believe this ridiculous statement?

by Sour Grapes 44 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • Darth FayDehr
    Darth FayDehr

    We were on our way to the local pub after the School and Service meeting; if we got there by 10:30 we would get a pint in before closing time (11:00) and walk home.

    It was a dark night, with fog and mist illuminated by the full moon. As we got nearer to the pub, down the country lane at the side of the Kingdom Hall, we squinted as a bright light nearly blinded us! It stopped about 500 yards into the distance, and we could make out the silhouette of a dark figure. It appeared to move away from the bright light, towards the thick hedgerows. Then, we heard a sharp sound like the hiss of a snake! We could make out what looked like a yellow-green translucent laser emitting from the creature into the hedgerow. Some kind of steamy smokey effect rose from the hedgerow into the foggy night.

    After observing this scary phenomenon for about 2 minutes, the laser stopped, the creature manoeuvred back towards the light, and then we heard a high-pitched electrical whir sound and the bright light headed towards us!

    We dived into the hedgerows and the light headed straight for us! When we scrambled back onto the road we all ran towards the pub screaming.

    As we walked in, the barman advised us that the toilets were closed for maintenance. "Did you see Mike the Milkman on your way in?", he asked. "He's just knocked back 8 pints but had to leave early in his electric milk float"

    Our fear subsided as we began to rationalise our experience that evening...

  • Betheliesalot

    And does anybody remember the story where John Denver supposedly made an announcement at the beginning of one of his concerts where he asked if there was any JW's in the audience, and if so, they were told to leave. Exelder, I heard this story and the singer was Barry Manalow. Each area of the world makes up their own lie to suit their gullible listeners .

  • freddo

    And you aren't able to burn a bible when you suspect it is demon possessed.

  • Sour Grapes
    Sour Grapes

    If a JDub would believe that a smurf could walk because one of the 8 popes said so I think they would also drink the koolaid.

  • Betheliesalot

    Probably 40% of the J dub super uber population would also swallow any pill prescribed to them by their Governing Body Doctors which would take them immediately to the promised land flowing with milk and honey.

  • ShirleyW

    There's an ex-Dub named Veronica that has made some videos that are on YouTube and she used to be regular on Rick Fearon's conference call. She swears she is the originator of that story with one of her dolls or something, it's really a bizarre story and I think she's a sandwich short of picnic myself.

    She also swears all her uncles or something are all Masons and the GB are all members too and they all wear the rings and stuff and her uncle's were including in the special meetings with the GB and stuff when they actually discussed how they're tied in with the Masons. Some folks believe it, I have some SERIOUS doubts about all that.

  • sparky1

    I believe it lock, stock and barrel.

    "The devil's finest trick is to persuade you that he does not exist." - Charles Baudelaire

  • Sour Grapes
    Sour Grapes

    When I was a young elder I studied with a younger married couple. We talked about how Satan and his demons don't want them to study and learn about Jehovah. The couple lived in a mobile home and at night they heard creaking noises and thought the demons were after them.

    They told me about the noises. I assumed that they bought something from a store that sells used items which can serve as a bridge for the demons to the persons home. Nope....but I did find ceramic praying hands that belonged to a grandmother. Aha, that was the culprit. I took the praying hands outside the trailer and smashed them with a hammer.

    The creaking noise did not go away, now something that belonged to a grandmother was destroyed and they stopped studying a few weeks later.

    I guess at that point in time I would have believed the smurf story if a CO gave the story.

  • Solzhenitsyn

    This topic must have really been making the rounds as I heard this version in the SE USA:

    JW parents expecting their first child were getting the new nursery all ready. They put up wallpaper (this had to be the 80's right?) that had Smurfs printed on it. Baby born and when sleeping on its own in its own crib started screaming horribly one night, blood curdling screams...parents rushed down the hall and into the room, turned on the lights and behold....little red bite marks all over the baby's exposed skin! Gasp! then they guessed it friends, the Smurf's once permanently printed on the wallpaper were all now gone. Little evil demons.

    Why would we welcome such Satanic influence into our home?


  • joe134cd

    Just as a side point, that you may be unaware of, is that it has been thought that Walt Disney was a pedophile and much of his work would tend to suggest that.

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