Do you think I should get something for my wife for her birthday?
Her birthday is coming up and it's also right around Valentine's Day. Should I get her something? What do you think?
The very first thing that comes to mind is PLEASE don't give her what I call a guy present. Really, some women are very particular and demanding when it comes to presents and gifts, so if you decide to give her something, make sure it is something that she will value, not something that will perplex her or make her roll her eyes.
That said, I wonder if you could give her a little bit of a hint about it, maybe to gauge where she's standing with the birthday gift thing. She herself may be able to tell you. If that doesn't work or not a possibility, then maybe taking a risk will be the thing to do. If you just risk it, do you think that she will go as far as taking you to a JC? And if that's the case, will you be ok with that? Measure consequences.
One more thing, and this is from my own experience. If you find that she's not cool with the birthday gift, please don't confuse that with her still being "all in". Some JWs and many ex-JWs I know can't care less about anything JW but for some reason they hold on to some of their practices. As I mentioned before, I had an ex-JW roommate who is as gay as I am and did a whole lot of wordly things, yet, he would never accept a birthday gift. The same may be the case with your wife. Even if a person is completely checked out of the WT, there are some things they still choose to keep.
I'll take all that into consideration, @scratchme1010, thank you. I gauged her earlier at lunch. :) I said I want to do something for her this month, and got a great big blushing smile from her. (She did mention feeling so much better around her birthday over the weekend, and we've even discussed each other's zodiac signs out of morbid curiosity haha. However, I did not bring this up today. I just let it resonate in the background.)
Then I asked if she would like or need anything in particular... Long story short, I know exactly what to get her, and it's totally not a "guy gift". :)
Not to change the subject, but I recently gave someone a birthday present for the first time in my life. I gave my history instructor an apple on his birthday, by no means an extravagant gift, but he really seemed to appreciate that I remembered. It felt good.
An apple for a teacher is classic. I plan on gradually following more customs of the world around me, though I don't feel the need to visibly invest in Christmas decorations or anything. I am learning more about the equinoxes and solstices though, and that's interesting stuff. It feels good.
I wish I could play the football pool at work, just for fun, but I'd be in a JC promptly if I did that. I guess I could get litigious if the dubs at work reported me, but that is not worth it one bit.
Being in the USA at this point in history, I promptly want to read more about our government, the Federalist papers, the Constitution, and local issues especially. I voted for the first time in October (early mail ballot) and when it came to local elections, I admit that I simply voted by party rather than issue, and I don't feel that is a rational way to do it. In my defense, where I did have a more thoughtful opinion on a local proposition, that is how I voted.
It just feels better to be a free human being.
A happy wife is a happy life. Do it.
Be sure to wrap it nicely. Witnesses hardly ever get wrapped gifts.
@ Schnell - If YOU want to give her something, PLEASE just do it. ONLY do it, if YOU want to, though. Don't think about it being because its her Bday, or even Valentines day, do it cause you are thinking of her, love her, and just want to give her something.
Its YOUR life. Its YOUR relationship. Never let the man made rules of a CULT dictate a way you want to express your love towards your mate. I honestly believe, NOTHING bad can, and will come out of you giving her a present for whatever day it may be, ONLY good.
My wife was never a Witness, and had ZERO knowledge and experiences with JW's, until she met me, and I have been OUT for over 20 years. With that being said, I sometimes just give a gift, jut to give it. Not for anything special, other than thinking of her, and loving her. I do this for my daughters too. I will even get my wife a gift, sometimes, around her bday, and not on it. I keep things spontaneous, and keep em guessing, lol.
I guarantee, she will love whatever you give her, whether its for her bday, or not. But, if she doesn't like it, then just divorce her, and don't look back. THATS A JOKE, SMILE, I AM KIDDING, lol.
I agree with wrapping it up really pretty, she'll love it!
Those are great ideas, guys. Anti-birthday present and a nice dinner.Love it.
Take her out and all it a Birth "Date".
give her a gift call it w2hat you want.. this xmas I told my jw dad i got him a gift. I came over the house and gave everyone else a gift, then told him he can't have one b/c he hates xmass. he looked like he was going to cry, after an hour of watching him Pine. I told him i thing there is something at the bottom of the bag for him. he ran for the bag I could tell he was happy just to get underwear... told him it was on sale. funny he always calls me on my bday and takes me out. he knows the deal, he's the only jw in the family, so he gets over on the wt rules
I hope you both have a great day ,"witness" or no "witness" what woman doesnt like to be treated like a queen for one day
Give her the full works. (and dont expect anything in return if you know what I mean) LOL