Just had huge arguement outside hall....

by Gadget 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • Gadget

    A few days ago I sent a message to an elder(One of the ones from my jc) asking him if he could get in contact with my girlfriend because I was very worried about her. After the meeting tonight he asked if he could have a chat with me outside the hall. He explained that he could not get in contact with her, as she was out of his jurisdiction. I explained that he knew I could not get in touch with her, but I had recieved messages from her saying she felt suicidal and would like for him to get in touch to make she she was ok. He said she was not in his jurisdiction and could not get involved, and that elders from her hall would be in contact with her and would be helping her. I told him that I believed I was the only one she had confided this in, and asked if he could pass this information on to the elders who were seeing her. He said he could not. I reminded him of the time when he told me that he was going to pass on information to her elders to put her in a judicial committee, and asked why if he coulkd pass on that information, surely he could pass this information on because of how important it is. He again repeated he could not pass it on. I asked how he would feel if something happened to her that he could have stopped by making sure the people with her had all the information, and he said fine, because its not in my jurisdiction to pass the information on so it has nothing to do with me.I stormed off telling him if something happened I would be coming to see him again. This all took place in viewand earshot of quite a few leaving the hall.

    I have been keeping in contact with her making sure she's ok, but I wanted the people in her hall to know whats going on so they could help her(I live quite a distance away, and sees a lot more of them than me), but this elder would not even do that(But would if it was a judicial matter...). I couldn't believe how cold hearted he was.


  • Joyzabel


    I hope your girlfriend is ok.

    Good stratagy, though. Keep up the good work.


  • Hamas

    Hi Gadget.

    Im sorry to hear about this. Life is hard, my friend.

    This elder sounds like an asshole. PM me with the congregation and his contact details. Lets kick his ass.

    .... I mean it.

  • blondie

    Gadget, did I miss the part where he explained why it was scripturally wrong for him to warn those elders about her state of mind? It reminds me of the illustration in a WT last year about how if the sheep wander off that it is the sheep's responsibility to let the shepherd know where they are and that they are in trouble. I would contact a different elder on the jc, one whose heart or brain hasn't been removed.


  • Elsewhere

    The asshole is more worried about getting sued that her welfare.

  • kgfreeperson

    What in the world could he get sued for? It just sounds as if he's saying he doesn't have to so he's not going to.

  • tinkerbell82

    gadget that suuuuucks!!! what a cretin. that is just low and heartless. so much for love amongst themselves, i guess.

    i hope your girlfriend is okay.

  • blondie

    Well, Elsewhere, he is more apt to be sued if he does nothing. It is more likely he doesn't want the responsibility of helping her, tying up his precious golf time.

    I can remember one elder who always got stuck with the "crazy" ones. The others would say, "but you have such a way with them." Translation: We don't the time to waste on them. This brother finally just burned out and stepped down.

    Rather than make this elder do his Christian duty, it is better to get another elder involved or get professional help.


  • libra_spirit

    Yes, some professional help is in order. Can you get her to see a counsilor or theraphist? Even a call to a crisus line may accomplish more, at least get her a phone number for a suicide line, or talk to them yourself and see what they recommend.

    Suicide is nothing to take lightly! Don't rely on the elders to be of any help in this area. She may be very depressed, and the authoritiarian structure of the Org is not going to help one bit. All the eldres will probably just tell her to pray more and go out in service more, this probably won't help at all because it is only denial and avoidance of the real problem.

    Good luck!

  • amac

    What a Jackass!!!! I would definitely go to other elders to try to get some help for your girlfriend. But PLEASE, bust this elder out by calling the CO and telling him what the elder said. Hopefully the CO isn't a jackass too and hopefully he'll burn the elder for saying that.

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