People are nice and life is awesome.

by OneEyedJoe 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • OneEyedJoe

    I got invited as a +1 to someone's house yesterday to watch the fireworks. I'd never met the hosts, and it seemed that most of the people in the group only knew one or two other people there. Yet I felt more genuine friendship from everyone there than I ever felt at any JW gathering. It's not the first time I've experienced something like this since leaving the cult and the true extent to which we were lied to in the cult really struck me. We were told that we could go anywhere and if we found JWs we'd be among friends and that this was something unique to JWs - the rest of the world was out to get us and would take advantage. But it seems, now, that quite the opposite is true. I'm not an especially outgoing person, but literally every single time I've engaged in conversation with a stranger, I've received more genuine interest and friendliness than I ever remember feeling in the cult, even with very close friends. Adding to that the fact that, sure, if you met another JW you could be reasonably sure they'd be nice people (this, I'm learning, is just a rule of people in general - being a JW is orthogonal to friendliness at best, but I now think JWs tend to be at least slightly less friendly than average) but with another JW (even your best friend) you had to be constantly on guard to make sure the cult mask didn't slip off lest their friendliness evaporate in an instant.

    So for those out there that are currently struggling with leaving, or those lurkers that are having doubts or anxieties about "where else will I go" - take note. It's been just shy of 2 years since I was able to really fully separate myself from the cult and I'm discovering just how great life can be when you're allowed to be yourself. You can do it, and it's completely worth it. And you're not alone - both in the sense that there are many others like you dealing with the same challenges, but also there's a world full of really friendly, welcoming people that are genuinely interested in what makes you who you are instead of the false interest you get from JWs that only want to hear you follow the approved script. People are nice and life is awesome. Go live!

  • flipper

    ONE EYED JOE- Your opening post on your thread is SOOO...... true. I've experienced the same thing these last 15 years of being out . So many nice people out in the real world. Of course there are assholes too, and a person has to be careful, but for the most part people are far less judgmental than any of the JW's I use to attend kingdom halls with. People see us for who we REALLY are as a person, not who they WANT us to be, and at least that's one major difference. Real, sincere people don't try to manipulate us and mold us into somebody we are not. They accept us for who we are and what we bring to the table in ways of conversations, viewpoints, etc.

    I'm glad you had a great time ! Cool ! Take care buddy, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • humbled

    Right on, Joe and flipper

    Last nightfall the fireworks were blasting and blazing outside. just back from my mothers house l was phoning my son and a neighbor in this trailer court hollered though the window( no air conditioning).

    “Come on out. Whatcha doing? We gotta chair for you. Watch the fireworks with us!”

    it was GREAT! It was loud. It was awesome!

    O the humanity!

  • LV101

    OneEyed - Exactly! One is giving up a beautiful life wasting precious time being a JW cult follower.

  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    How true it is. Last night was our third annual get together with close friends to watch fireworks. Just good conversation, food and fireworks. Not once since I have left the Borg has anyone that I know tried to take advantage of me. Unlike what I experienced in the borg many times. Actually we talk about tight pants and pillows and how Cults are sex crazy. Lol. People for the most part just want to live a peaceful life. Only the us against them mentally disease Borg thinks otherwise. Still Totally ADD

  • mentalclarity

    @OneEyed Joe - so happy that you are able to experience this. We are really lied to and conditioned to distrust non jws so much. Even if we did meet a nice non-jw our defenses and guard was up which probably affected our interaction with them.

    It's really nice when you can let your guard down and just be yourself and allow others to do the same. Just being really open to other people and listening to what they have to say instead of seeing it as an opportunity to "witness" to them is such a game changer. I think to myself, who was I to be so arrogant and think somehow I was leading a better life because I went to a couple of meetings twice a week and that I should have any say on the way you lead your life?????

    Most people are pretty awesome and I bet with that attitude, you'll attract more awesome into your life.

  • zeb

    When a young jw pursued work over seas in a specialist area he was offered accommodation by friends there, not jw. What did elders at this end do? "OOOH don't go, the end is so close blah blah blah".

    He never went lost a gold opportunity and that was 20+ years ago..


    "make sure the cult mask didn't slip off lest their friendliness evaporate in an instant. " very true, very true.

  • NewYork44M

    The most shocking thing I learned after leaving the "truth" is that most people are nice, honest, moral, and a lot more fun to be around than your typical JW.

    That is the secret that the Watchtower does not want the R&F to know. Notice how The watchtower portrays "wordy" people - angry, immoral, agents of Satan, and our enemies.

  • eyeuse2badub

    EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING! Looks different when we take of the 'watchtower colored glasses"!

    just saying!

  • All or nothing
    All or nothing

    Before I woke up, I used to say to my husband that my customers treated me so much better than the "friends" -I use that term lightly- at the hall. He used to say that they were jealous of my successful business and I said - doesn't the bible say love is not jealous blah blah- glad I don't have to go there anymore

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