HELP!! Just Woken Up - Fanatical Mom wants to report me

by Scarlett_Martin 38 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Anna Marina

  You have to learn how to protect your feelings.

  You know it's wrong - don't look to the elders for help and don't recognise their authority. The only authority they have over you is what YOU give them.

  You have not wasted your life, you have learnt a lesson and its good to understand how con tricks are played so you can avoid them happening again. Watchtower is not the only media organisation that plays games with spin and peer pressure.

  Take one day at a time. Respond to the moment rather than trying to think too far ahead. You might forsee things that never happen which make you panic. Treat everyone as you would like to be treated yourself but be cautious.

  I know someone who has just got their ENTIRE family out (multiple generations plus some others and maybe even more to come). The key to getting them out was BE KIND, BE A PERSON OF INTEGRITY and BE PATIENT. Just as you want freedom to think for yourself so does that other person. So don't assume you will lose your family but if the worst should happen:-
  

  Mark 10:29,30

  Jesus said, Truly I say to you, There is no man who has given up house, or brothers, or sisters, or mother, or father, or children, or land, because of me and the good news, Who will not get a hundred times as much now in this time, houses, and brothers, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and land--though with great troubles; and, in the world to come, eternal life.
  
• 

  Vanderhoven7

  Beautifully said Anna!
• 

  Biahi

  I’m an American, so I’m not familiar with what may be helpful in Europe. I think there is a website called Jwsupport.com that may help. Look forward to mental freedom, you are among friends here.😀
• 

  DesirousOfChange

  Scarlett:

  If you want to slow down your exit, remain with your mother, and not be DFd or ostracized, you will need to "make a plan".

  1) If your mother is going to report you to the elders, then you will likely have to meet with them or they will pursue you as an apostate if she tells them about you being on this (and other) websites. Does she know you are reading this online? You will be asked how you "learned" these things! REMEMBER, your mother thinks she is trying to SAVE YOUR LIFE! (Yes, she is being deceived just as we all were!)
  

  2) Don't throw your PIMO friend under the bus. Perhaps you could say that you got all this information from a workmate who is "anti-JW". At first they pretended to be "interested" in The Troof, but then started sharing this anti-JW information with you. The information they have been feeding you, has you "confused" and has "raised some doubts". Implore the Elders to help you and let them "set matters straight". It "seemed" to make senseat first, but you realize it must all be lies.

  If you feel guilty being deceptive, then simply remember that the Organization says you're telling a "lie" only if the person DESERVES to know the truth. These men DO NOT DESERVE ANYTHING FROM YOU.

  3) MOST IMPORTANT -- ERASE YOUR INTERNET HISTORY!!!! (Just re-read some of your posts and saw you are spending a lot of time on line at jwfacts, etc.

  4) Start developing "worldly" friendships. People at work. Former classmates. Etc.
  

  5) SAVE MONEY!!

  6) Plan for a future on your own. At 20, I was out of the house and proud to be so even though I was still a "believing" JW (tho not living up to all the rules).

  7) REJOICE that you've learned TTATT at only 20 years of age. My wife and I were in our 50's. OUR LIVES were mostly wasted on this Cult. YOUR life has just begun!

  Good luck!

  Doc
  
• 

  Overrated

  All of us on this site have or know someone who woke up like you. Every live is unique and difficult to give good advice. I was kicked out of father's house for no longer wanting to go to the meetings. I have been shunned by my family and people who know me. Everyone here has given good advice.
• 

  Ding

  First, DON'T commit suicide.

  If those thoughts recur, get professional help.

  The USA has suicide hot lines you can call to talk with someone and get help. I don't know about other countries.

  Second, your life has NOT been wasted. You've accomplished a lot and learned a lot.

  Third, even if your whole life HAD been wasted so far, you're only in your mid-twenties and you have a college degree. You probably have 55 or more years ahead of you during which you will be free from WT control.

  Fourth, cultivate non-JW friendships. Stop thinking of them as worldly. Use discernment in developing friendships. Focus on people who will build you up instead of tearing you down.

  If you would like to discuss anything privately, feel free to PM me. I'll let you set the agenda. If you don't want to... no problem.
  
• 

  pistolpete

  Hi Scarlett----------------Welcome to the Matrix!

  All of us know the feeling. One day you are living in a nice world with a bright future, a ton of friends all around the world, the love of brothers and sisters, a paradise earth just around the corner---------and then out of nowhere, you wake up and find all your body parts strapped to dozens of wires sucking the energy out of you to keep the big Watchtower machine going.

  Then you realize that the life you were living was all a scam, and all the promises that were made was like a carrot to keep you under CONTROL OF THE WATCHTOWER ORGANIZATION WHILE THEY SUCKED ALL THE LIFE OUT OF YOU FOR THEIR PURPOSE.

  Now that you found out it feels like this.

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBo_mVV81n8

  I'm actually pretty close to your age. I also was born in and in my mid teens I started figuring out that my religion was pretty much a scam. I didn't make a big issue out of it considering I still lived at home and wasn't even legally able to get a job. So i just went along for the ride until I was ready to leave the nest and fly the coupe.

  At 18 I left home, got several part time jobs, went to college and to be honest, looking back, I have no idea how I made it. I could of planned better. Perhaps stay at home until I finished college.

  I know the feeling of being disgusted with the whole thing, but now you have to start looking at life in reality. Basically you are on your own and nobody is coming to help you---so you have to start getting smart and planning your every step towards a Nice future.

  In real life you play the game when with your enemies, until you have the power and means to leave and care for yourself. --------But wait, -------there is no hurry, and thus you got plenty of time to "Learn" to live with the disgusting Watchtower Organization until you are able to leave.

  So if you must meet with the elders, now is an excellent time to start sharping up your skills and FOOLING THEM-------- Just like they have fooled you all these years. That's Right,----Now It's Your Turn to do the fooling, and believe me, elders are some of the most stupid men you will ever meet.

  Remember they still believe the Watchtower is God's True Organization he is using on earth---------WHILE YOU HAVE JUST FIGURED IT ALL OUT AT 20.
  

  I also visit exjw reddit since most there are around my age. Guess what, there are over 55,000 PIMO jws over there between the ages of 13-30, majority------and we also have some older ones who also have waken up.

  Here is a little post we had a month ago, read the comments, you'll get a laugh. And hang in there, I guarantee you things will get A LOT BETTER
  

  https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/ip7vl6/how_waking_up_is_like_the_matrix/
• 

  road to nowhere

  Your dad may be able to tell your mother you will stay home depending in his views and your mothers a actual views on headship.

  Not wanting to live with someone is not wrong, there are good reasons for marriage first.

  You will get through this, remenber suicide us a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Find someone you can confide in, health providers, friends, workmates. Be aware that non professionals are limited in wisdom. For that matter professional s too

  Good luck
• 

  Sea Breeze

  Hi Scarlett,

  Welcome to the discussion board. I was also a born in. Have devout witnesses on both sides of family. As you weigh your options, keep in mind that all of us who were WT members are guilty of placing undue trust in men. True, as born-ins we had little choice initially. But, at some point we have to take responsibility.

  The bible warned us, but we didn't listen.

  Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man... - Ps. 146

  Thus saith the Lord; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man...- Jer. 17:5
  

  Christians do not follow men, organizations, or denominations. Keep in mind that your parents are where you were just a short time ago. The problems you are having with them are manifestations of their disobedience to God more than they are an attack on you.
  

  Just providing a little perspective here.

  You will need to develop a whole new family/friend structure.... a daunting task. Ask Jesus to help you.

  "Come to me, and I will give you rest" - Jesus

  If you are not ready to do that, try to choose your new friends wisely. There is much harshness in this world and many who would like to exploit those who are isolated in some way.

  Be careful and don't buy the Watchtower lie that those who leave will inevitably wreck their lives doing foolish things.

  Get into counseling immediately! Praying for you!
• 

  smiddy3

  There is some great words of wisdom for you to follow Scarlett _Martin given to you on this forum if you just take the time to absorb it all in without rushing in and doing something foolish like tossing yourself .That doesn`t solve anything and just adds grief to all those you never knew, who loved you.

  Believe me, it may sound like a clique , however its true that "time does heal everything" so do that give it time , and use the WT `s tact of using "Theocratic warfare" and use it against them to your advantage .