Good idea or bad idea?

by stephanie61092 26 Replies latest jw experiences

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  elderINewton

  In my experience dropping checks can help, as it shows a willing/grieving spirit. But you need to make sure that an elder knows you are doing it. If you approach the COBE (or elder assigned to you) that you would like to make a donation, but don't wish to make the accounts servant feel awkward, how do I do it? - Then if you give him a check for even say $5.00 he knows and the other elders will find out as well.

  If I remember correctly from your other post, your with child. So if you have a elder that loves kids - stress you want to be reinstated before the baby comes out. You can't handle the guilt, etc. of giving birth in a bad condition. Ask them repeatedly (like a pest) what you need to do to make it right for your child. As you wish to "save" the child from the reproach. Or something like that.

  Its all a mind game, just play it.
  
• 

  out4good4

  Leaving Quietly outlines the procedure pretty well.

  I just couldn't imagine jumping through that many hoops to be accepted anywhere.

  guess that's the introvert in me.....
  
• 

  violias

  I agree, don't give up on therapy. It took about 2 years for therapist to break through the wall I had put up to protect the WTS. Therapy was my saving grace.
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  OnTheWayOut

  As another ex-elder, I agree with everything leaving_quietly says on page 2. I want to add that if they don't reinstate after the second letter, feel free to submit one every month and they will cave in sooner.

  Don't bother with the money at all, no elders are likely to ever ever notice it.

  When they reinstate, they will impose restrictions on you- withhold commenting and giving talks at the hall (or whatever they do with sisters at the CLAM now). You don't ever need to worry about getting such privileges back. As a matter of fact, if you are reinstated for the sake of family, you can feel free to miss any (or even ALL) meetings after that. You are golden and they can't make you progress as a "publisher" or anything. I wouldn't bother with trying to keep up any pretenses as far as the elders go after reinstatement, I would just avoid them. If you decide you need to attend some meetings because of family, just always tell the elders that you are fine and, "no, don't need to talk, bye."
• 

  JRK

  As for therapy, it would be good to find someone with experience with exiting cults.

  JK
• 

  James Jack

  As The Account Servant now, when someone that is in a situation as yours, I would let the Secretary know.

  It seems since the new arrangement has been in place, our local Elders have been more interested how the donations are doing.
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  Beth Sarim

  ''local Elders have been more interested how the donations are doing.''

  Seems like that's all anyone cares about anymore or ever cared about.