Good idea or bad idea?

by stephanie61092 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • macys

    Hey Steph, $100 check will get your reinstatement meeting and consideration bumped a few notches. $500 buys you a reinstatement in 1 month. $1000 gets you instant reinstatement and $5000 buys you the same VIP status of missionaries without having to actually live in a 3rd world nation and put a single hour in. Just be sure to write your name nice and BIG. LOL

    Joking aside, talking about money and how this cult works reminded me of something that still haunts me to this day. Before I was Df'd a long time bethel brother/family friend told my father that IF a baptized JDub bought a lottery ticket, let's say the Powerball, and won, they would NOT, I REPEAT NOT DF him IF he promised to donate the money to the society. How did this strange topic come about and how does he know the answer? This exact scenario occurred out in the midwest years ago to an elderly sister who won a big jackpot worth millions. The elders contacted the branch and they responded with that answer. For us, it was a simply topic we were joking about while out in service in the car group for plan B coffee and donuts or whatever, and someone mentioned "hypothetically speaking" that if a JDub won the lottery and it become public knowledge, they would only publicly reprove him if he donated the money to the society. If he refused then a Dfing was guaranteed.

    My father told me what he said and although my father was not shaken out of this JDub coma, he was a bit surprised himself and said that I should not repeat this because it might stumble others and reflect badly on Jehovah's Borg... ooopsie I mean ORG.

    Looking back, we were all so blinded that even this did not move us to get out as a family. Makes me sick. I guess Jehooobah needs that money!

  • stephanie61092
    Thanks for your input, everyone. I think I'll err on the side of caution and not drop any checks into the contribution boxes. IF I ever ask for anything from the literature counter, maybe I'll plan on putting in a few dollars with the hopes an elder will notice and make a mental note that I am "supporting" the organization. However, I don't plan on this happening often...I'm always filled with so much anxiety being in the KH, I can't even bear to look at anyone - let alone request literature.
  • Je.suis.oisif

    Stephanie....Hi, so sorry you're in a constant state of anxiety. Welcome poppet. Baby steps, and keep dropping in. Lots of wise and seasoned helpers on here

  • Londo111
    When I was awake and getting reinstated, I never put checks in. It didn't hurt or hinder. Don't give any money to this organization!
  • ssn587
    If your filled with so much anxiety being at the hall, then why go there is it really worth it? How is you anxiety level when your not at the hall, does it dramatically go down then that in an of itself shows you being there is unhealthy.
  • JWdaughter
    I wouldn't put in a check even if they weren't paying it out to abusers. Here is why. A check is an evidence that yes, you are paying, but unless you put in some big honking checks, it won't buy you out of their condemnation. No matter if the checks are big or small, really, it would either be not enough or look like you are trying to buy your way in. All you will get for it is grief, either way.
  • leaving_quietly

    Speaking as an ex-elder, what you put in the contribution box is irrelevant. As @OneGenTwoGroups said, accounts are handled by ministerial servants (usually, unless there's few MSs in a congregation.) The elders will likely never even see what you put in. In all the years I served, the subject of who contributes was never ever ever discussed, and was not ever, not even once, part of any factor leading to reinstatement.

    I've seen letters get really involved and detailed and emotional. You don't need that, at least, not at first. Your first letter should simply ask to meet to see what you need to do to be re-instated, perhaps with a little, 'I've come to realize God's way is best and I made a huge mistake' thrown in (probably not far from the truth considering what you wrote in the first post.) Don't expect to be reinstated after the first meeting. During that first meeting, feel out how it's going. If you don't feel they're going to reinstate, then try to feel out how long before you could meet with them again. Many elders don't like to commit to a time period, but if they say something like, "a couple months," then that's a good takeaway. Wait that long, then submit another letter, but this time, ask to be reinstated, and mention the emotional aspects, such as how distraught you have been that you've brought reproach on Jehovah's name, etc. It may take a few requests to get it done.

    A side note:

    The elders on your reinstatement committee will be the same ones who were on the judicial committee unless you changed congregations, or one or more of them moved away. If you changed congregations, the final decision for reinstatement will rest with the original committee in the original congregation where you were DF'd. If they're not far away, they may meet with you instead. But if they are too far, your local elders will meet with you and when they feel ready to recommend you for reinstatement, they'll write a letter to your original congregation with the recommendation. The original congregation has to respond and either approve or reject the recommendation. It's a whole process. If you are in the same congregation as where you were DF'd, none of this applies, but if you're not, be prepared to tell them what congregation you were in when you were DF'd, and if possible, a contact of either the Coordinator there, the Secretary or one of the elders on the judicial committee.

  • DesirousOfChange

    Leaving Quietly outlines the procedure pretty well.

    Good luck!


    The greatest revenge is living a happy & successful life!

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim

    **Don't give any money to this organization!**

    I haven't since about 1993.

  • Anon2

    Sooo glad you checked in Stephanie. Bet I'm not the only one who has checked each day to see if you said how you were doing and given a lot of thought to you.

    Had a thought this week I'd like to share. Wouldn't it be interesting if each person who wanted to leave JW's, or was DA themselves, or knew they were being disfellowshipped, spoke to their family members and closest friends and told them that you were leaving and if they didn't also leave within a certain time, you were shunning them. And as an afterthought, to add, "if your choice is to stay and have me shun you, know that there is no reinstatement in my decision. You'll be forever dead to me." I know it isn't realistic, but it was an entertaining thought. Simple minds are easily amused. 8)

    Can't answer your question, but can once again wish you well. Glad you had a friend to talk to and that it worked out well. Stay strong, and know people care. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and my sincere hope is that someday you will have an outlook that doesn't give two cents worth of care to what a cultish group of humans think of you. Hugs, Stephanie.

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