First time here

by BarelyThere 36 Replies latest jw experiences

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath
    hell Barely There ( BT )-----welcome to the site------you will soon find lots of support and understanding here---please check in as often as you feel ok to do so.
  • BarelyThere

    Thanks everyone for your kind words. I haven't had many in the past 4 months. I was DFd for cheating on my husband. I got married when I was way too young (19) and several years went by and I just couldn't take it anymore. I had been trying to work on my marriage for over a year and was so frustrated with it and myself, that I got in trouble with another JW. Im not proud of what I did, Jw or not a JW, but it is what it is. Anyway, I "came forward" with the information. The elders wanted us to stay together but my ex husband didn't want anything to do with me anyway (not that I blame him). I think if we had stayed together i wouldn't have been DFed.

    In some ways I am lucky - my parents still talk to me and one of my girl friends does too. But everyone else, including my sister and my best friend of 10 years has cut me off. I'm also well educated and have a full time job that keeps me busy.

    Honestly, i don't know what I believe right now. My biggest issue is with all the hypocrisy I've discovered. It makes me want to scream. I want to come back so I can have communication with my entire family. Even though I can talk to my parents, it really depresses me that I can't go have dinner with my family as a whole. All I do is think about it and how uncertain everything is. I feel like I'm on the verge of a mental break down most days!

  • JRK



    It will get better. Be patient with yourself, you have a lot of things to learn and unlearn.

    Good luck,


  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath
    BT--are you able to say what country youre in ?
  • BarelyThere
    I'm in the US. Florida
  • cofty
    In some ways I am lucky - my parents still talk to me and one of my girl friends does too

    That is a huge bonus. Great to hear you have a decent job as well.

    My advice would be to avoid all questions about life, the universe and everything for the foreseeable future. Concentrate on career, education, building a new circle of friends (less judgemental ones) and generally enjoying life. Don't worry there is no armageddon just around any corner, nothing to fear.

    There will be time to worry about the big questions much later.

  • Landy

    Maybe throw yourself in to work and try to extend your social circle in that direction.

    Things will get better.,Good luck!

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    BarelyThere, welcome.

    You will also find "tough love" here, and encouragement to "be all that you can be."

    Some opening suggestions:

    1. If you still call Watchtower dogma "THE TRUTH," stop doing that! Think of it as "The TROOTH" and remind yourself that trooth-fairies don't exist.

    2. It will be difficult, but you do not need the approval of those who offer CONDITIONAL love.

    3. The Watchtower has a success record of exactly 0% on EVERYTHING they have ever predicted based on their reading of the Bible.

    4. Based on #3, ARMAGEDDON is NOT "closer than the inside of your eyelid." The fear of Armageddon is a cult mind-control technique. Plan to live a full and happy life, beginning NOW.

    5. I'm an ATHEIST and APOSTATE. Others here are also, some claim to be neither. Remember that I have never lied to you.

    That will do for openers.

  • Giordano

    Sorry to meet you under these circumstances.

    First off you need to heal up a bit. You may want to look into counseling to avoid any more mental damage.

    Shunning especially when a person needs close family ties and friends to be there for them is the equivalent of torture hence the need for counseling.

    While you sort through your feelings this is a good place to be because......well we have all exited from this religion one way or the other. DF, DA faded or were stumbled.

    About half of us have become non believers, some have found another religion, some avoid other religions but maintain a belief in God.

    But one thing we can all agree on is that if your hurting you will be helped.

  • Crazyguy
    Maybe you should go back get reinstated then fade. But then of course if your husband doesn't remarry then your not able to. So take it slow figure out what kind of future you want then do what it takes to make that happen. Welcome.

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