Grading of Disfellowshipping Offenses

by RAYZORBLADE 38 Replies latest jw friends


    This can be misleading I suppose at first glance, but I'm talking about, other ex-JWs and how they treat other ex-JWs.

    Both disfellowshipped.

    But one group perceives themselves as (ahem, cough) holier than the fornicator, smoker or drunkard.

    That's where I was coming from.

    PS: Yes, two big thumbs

  • wednesday


    this is a great thread. I said before, i agree with u, i have been on the board since sept 02 and those who left over doctrinal reasons seem to be accorded the most respect, as to say they are the real "xjws" the rest of us are just immoral and probably should have been ousted anyway.

    I also agree with Walter, no matter what the reason we left, obivioulsy we did not agree with the doctrines, whether it be morality, or the trinity.

    I know Blondie is correct that within the org. certian things are more offensive. Top of list is apostacy. probably below it is homosexuality. Adultry and fornication are so common in the org. I have seen less of it in the world. I know for myself, tellling me u can't do something only made me want to do it more.Since leaving the jws, i have found other reasons than "you'll die at the big A" not to do stuff.It was never a very compelling reason to not do stuff, at least for me.

  • SheilaM

    I don't give a flying flip what happened unless you are say a PEDOPHILE but then I guess said one wouldn't be disfellowshipped but would be happily going door to door.

  • blondie
    Adultery, homosexuality, blasphemy, idolatry... yes, those were capital offenses in the nation of Israel. But fornication and theft were not. Drunkenness wasn't even a crime at all!

    Good points, Euphemism. I discussed those with the elders and we just went round and round.

    I just finally realized that the elders had no real authority to judge people in this area and that the secret aspect of the judicial committee made it impossible for the congregation to hold them accountable for their decisions.


  • Swan
    Really, when you think about it, we're all out because of doctrinal issues.

    I agree. The degree means nothing. What are the elders going to do? "Well sister, this committee has decided not to disfellowship you, but because you committed adultery, we also want you to wear this T-Shirt we had made up with a big red letter A on the front."

    It's all so silly. That's why I won't and don't judge my fellow apostates (as long as you aren't serving time for a major crime ). Being judgmental was part of my old JW personality, and I never want to be like them any more. For claiming to be followers of Jesus, they certainly are more judgmental than any other group I can think of.


  • Pistoff

    Even more interesting is the idea that Paul may have been alone in his idea to disfellowship; his letter was a general one to the congregation, not to any "body of elders"; if it was internal policy already, why did Paul bring it up to the general congregation?

    It was his way of trying to get them to do it; it was not "policy".

    Of course, today it is.

    By the way, what gross sin did Joe and Barbara Anderson commit? Or Bill Bowen?

    Meanwhile, Heidi's abuser still walks around the congregation and goes out in service.

    There is your congregation justice; speak out for the abused ones, and reveal stupid policy, and get classed with the homosexuals and fornicators.

    Why does anyone in their right mind take anything to the elders? They are complete idiots. I will NEVER again tell an elder something I have done or what I really think; they cannot consider it rationally, they must follow policy.

    Tell me, where in the bible does it say that for gross sin, more than personal confession is required?

  • Euphemism
    Even more interesting is the idea that Paul may have been alone in his idea to disfellowship; his letter was a general one to the congregation, not to any "body of elders"; if it was internal policy already, why did Paul bring it up to the general congregation?

    I think it has to do with Paul's position as the advocate of Gentile Christianity. After all, anyone among the Jews who did the things that Paul listed would undoubtedly be shunned by the Jewish community, including the Jewish Christians. The Gentiles had no such tradition, however, and that's why Paul was advocating a change.

    Returning to the main subject of the thread... I was just talking about this with Piph, and had a thought.

    All of us are here because we no longer believe in the WTS. Otherwise, we would dimiss this site as a bunch of apostate lies. Plenty of people who were d/fed for immorality are still loyal to the WTS.

    So it doesn't really matter whether we abandoned--or simply failed to keep--the WT's moral restrictions before we learned the full truth about the org. All of us are here because, at some point, we decided to stand up to the WT and become mentally free.

  • Odrade

    Okay, here's another side of that question: Do df'd people feel differently about themselves and the BORG, depending on why they were df'd? Here's what I mean:

    If someone is df'd because they got in a bad situation and, lets say, slept with someone, you still hear them say 10 years later "Well, it was really my own fault I'm being shunned." If someone gets df'd because they DECIDE to take a stand against CHRONOLOGY, they will wave that like a banner and say "

    In that respect, maybe df'ing reasons do get graded, but the only ones that should count are the grades we give ourselves. (Hmmm, kind of like new age schooling--HA!)


  • cat1759

    I was raised to love everyone, although it is hard at times.

    I silently went away in my own pain. I worked so hard as to have an reason why I wasn't going. When I went to the hall I would become so depressed, so would log more hours at work.

    I chose to post the story in 1996 against the elders. I was treated badly at my old hall long before I moved out and long before I posted the story because of the handling of my sons abuse. After everything that happened I could not get back into the stream of things. All I kept hearing was a very old and dear friend saying to me, "just sit in the hall, just be there no matter how bad it is because the end is coming and Jehovah knows all." I have a great deal of love for three older persons that I grew up around. They would cite experiences for me to follow everytime I went South to see my parents. I never wanted to do anything to hurt these three people as they were so dear to me. They loved Jehovah with all their heart. They were always helping others. They actually loved me and my children. No matter how bad the witnesses up here, these three people treated me with human love.

    There was no comittee meeting. There was nothing. I knew at the time I posted they could interpret it as apostacy. I no longer cared as the bitterness had to ease somehow. I started to heal.

    I don't view any other exjws as worse than any other. No one had a right to judge anyone. They seem to keep the congregation clean from smokers, adulterers, idolators, etc but when it comes to pedophiles there is nothing. The only ones I will NOT associate with are pedophiles. They are the lowest. They need help. What happens between two consenting adults, or any of the other listed offenses have nothing to do with the real world. It has to do with the person and their own conscience.

    We make decisions out of fear or love!



    Great responses, even if some of you didn't quite get what I was aiming at.

    WEDNESDAY: Thanks! you got it.

    I don't care about judicial committees or what you were disfellowshipped for.

    I was aiming at, in case some of you missed it.

    ex-JWs and how they grade other ex-JWs, that was what I was getting at.

    Basically, once they (an ex-JW) finds out what you were disfellowshipped for, it's like a grading of character: scriptural apostate views fornicating apostate as beneath him/her. Got me?



    If yes, great. If no, I give up.

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