Question about an elder and if I am crazy

by life is to short 40 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  Incognito

  LITS,

  Yes, this situation and religion is crazy - NOT YOU!

  Although everything you said to the Elders and others at the hall is all true, they don't want to hear it and will NEVER want to hear it as it is upsetting to their concept of their True paradise religion.

  They will never give you praise for pointing out their shortcomings or errors, so stop expecting a positive reaction. You will never receive it from them.

  You can't control or change how others will react to a matter. The only change you can effect is your own.

  You appear to feel guilty and responsible for your husband's deletion as an Elder which is likely affecting your ability to speak frankly with him. You also appear to be looking for others, anyone, to validate your ideas, actions and value as a person. These are self worth issues which are understandable given your background but these and trust issues need to be addressed by your therapist.

  Regardless of how others react, your thoughts and ideas are equally as valid as anyone's.

  You are a valued member of society and a good person! Stop thinking of yourself as less.
  

  If your current therapist is not helping YOU, then find an alternate therapist who you feel comfortable with and can trust, that you evaluate is helping you and effecting positive change.

  You mention looking at the dictionary for the definition of harassment. Since the elder's actions are affecting you, regardless of the dictionary definition, do YOU consider his actions to be harassment? How you feel is most relevant.

  If his actions persist, you may wish to pursue pressing harassment charges or obtaining a Restraining Order against him. He is not your friend as a true friend would not treat you in the manner he has.

  While you refer to being trapped in a prison, the door has been unlocked for some time. It's time to leave, both mentally and physically.
  
• 

  Worldling9

  I want you to remember that the only behavior we can control is our own. This drama will continue as long as you participate. If you disengage from these people and they continue to harass you, take out a restraining order. I do not think you're crazy, but I do think you have crazy all around you. Please continue to see your therapist; this does sound PTS related. You should stop attending meetings and plan your exit carefully. You have more power than you realize.
  
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  ToesUp

  "Dr. Seuss was one smart guy: "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the girl who'll decide where to go."

  Wild Thing. I loved this quote!
  
  
• 

  Finkelstein

  Obviously the crazy people here are the JWS , notably certain elders. they think they have been given divine spiritual power over other JWS and non JWS for that matter, out that premise certain elders will act and behave aggressively and disrespectfully toward others.

  Rude, over the top inappropriate behavior is seen quite often from these men, particularly so toward lower class woman.
  

  Hint stay away from these people, they are truly off balanced even with their stupid pretentious smiling.

  Trust me I was born into this cult and left it 30 years ago , I know what I'm talking about.
  
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  LisaRose

  Again thank all who have answered and sorry to be such a basket case.

  You are not a basket case, just someone who is coping as best you can with a horrible situation. I am glad you are getting counseling, it's really the only fix for what is going on with you. I know the situation is horrible, but you need to focus on your own recovery.
  
  
• 

  Iown Mylife

  Je.suis.oisif - no worries - i have done it myself too several times :-)
• 

  Wayward

  LITS, you aren't the crazy one here. HE is. He is a whack job and you need to keep well away from him. Make it VERY clear, in no uncertain terms, that he is NEVER to talk to you, send you emails, call, or have any other contact. If he does, you will call the police on him for harassment. Send a certified letter stating your wishes. He'll have to sign for it and that way can't deny he got it. Then carry it through if he disregards your wishes. Save any emails, voicemails, or letters in case you need proof to show the police or a court. Inform the other elders you'll take legal action against them too if they don't rein this scumbag in.
  
• 

  LongHairGal

  LITS:

  I have read your posts over the years when you come on here from time to time. You are clearly a nice person. And I can see you have been abused by the JW religion in every way a person can be abused. But, yet, you STILL go there. And the story you tell about the child abuse is outrageous and should be public!

  I understand you are married. (No offense, but from what you say, I have no respect for your husband.) If I were in your place, I don't think I could go "just to keep peace". I'd want to run screaming.

  I suppose I cannot compare myself to you since I was not raised in the JW religion. So, I had less to lose when I walked away. But, you can't keep going there and getting "beat up". As other posters have told you: you are NEVER going to change their minds about what they are doing wrong with respect to the child abuse issue, or anything else for that matter....Stop looking for validation from these men because you will never get it. Stop looking up to them..The elder harrassing you should be reported to the police, end of story.

  Other posters gave you good advice about seeing professionals to deal with these issues.

  I am sure everybody on this forum will be looking forward to the day when you announce that you do NOT go there anymore.
• 

  Vidiot

  Based solely on the majority of their reactions alone (i.e. total freaking-the-f**k-out-denial), I'd say that if there's anything that makes loyalist JWs feel more threatened than a black drag queen at a Klan rally...

  ...it's the rising tide of the WTS's pedo problem...

  ...because it's getting harder and harder to deny, excuse, or ignore.
  
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  My Name is of No Consequence

  Despite the issues that my wife and I are having, there is no way in h*** that I would let any dude treat her like that. How can a man let some a**hole treat his wife like garbage IN FRONT OF HIM and not do anything about it??

  Are you serious??