Single Sisters Over A Certain Age Group Getting A Bad Rap

by HiddlesWife 72 Replies latest social relationships

  • steve2
    steve2

    "so, if the religion is so terrible on females, why are they in a majority flocking, sticking to it? and why do the males stick and are attracted to the already perfect females, prior to paradise?"

    Excellent question, which in one form or another has exercised sociological minds for centuries. A quick and dirty answer is this:

    Love them or hate them, religions cater to the strong human needs for certainty and "safety". Combine that with historical patriarchally-run societies (with clearly defined roles for every one, women and children in particular) and presto! Women have traditionally achieved their sense of self from serving and following men. Simple as that. Indeed, until very recent decades, sanctions against women who did not comply have been extremely strong. Keep in mind also, that women's "right" to higher education is a very recent phenomenon, whereas men have had greater access to the traditional "halls" of power. Even a lowly working class man at least has dominion over his own household.

    Here's an example from my own background that may be at one level terribly feeble - but hopefully gets the point across:

    My born-in JW mother married had wanted to pursue some part time employment after she had her children in the 1960s. She discussed it first with her JW parents who roundly condemned the idea and then approached my JW father who - no surprises here - told her "No". End of story.

    My mother - an otherwise intelligent, strong-minded woman - simply complied, although given that she talked about it every now and then in her later years suggests she was still holding onto some resentment about the matter.But that's another story!

    Multiply her example by a gazillion and you get the picture. Otherwise intelligent individuals can "willingly" subject themselves to other's rules simply because they believe that is the accepted order of things. And they do not conceive what an alternative would look like. It is a scary thing to lose social approval.

    But as women's rights to education and employment become more firmly in place, we know that women are becoming less subservient to the so-called "accepted order of things". Way to go!

    Hope this helps shed some light on your excellent question. There is a lot of research on matters related to this fascinating topic of why women "willingly" submit to male-dominated religious groups.

  • tor1500
    tor1500

    Hi All,

    This is just not in religion, it's the way life is. Some men love younger women, because it makes them feel that they don't age...Men, don't get angry, I just said some men. But there is no denying young folks look good, just as some of us did when we were younger. I won't deny there are some younger brothers in the congregation...yummy, but I could be their mother....

    We live in a youth oriented society which makes you feel bad because you are getting older, look at the media, ads on TV's & Bill Boards, etc. Even though older people have a certain appeal to them, have confidence, yet gravity has taken it's toll. Many of us women when we were younger we turned heads...now that we have gotten older, especially over 50, you become invisible.

    I notice in the org. you have to bring your own man in, or get Df'd get married, then come back.

    Witness men are like most men....they are visual...they have plenty of women to look at, at the hall. Soon as a young thing comes in...they gravitate to the young tender things...

    Witness men don't really like secure women....& that's why they don't bother with the older ones, they may feel that the woman knows her worth.

    Many women may be attracted to places of worship dominated by men, because that's our make-up, we love men to be men, strong, secure, providers, protectors, that's what we were taught growing up. Some women don't have father figure, or no male figures in their homes, so they are getting their man-on. Most of the sisters complain about the brothers being pushy, yet, they say, I follow the brothers, whatever the brothers say & so on. So I find most of the women talk out of both sides of their mouth.

    It's really not that complicated, it's the male & female dance.

    Orphan Cow pretty much nailed it..."By selecting and choosing "breeding age" women, favoring the sexually available and attractive woman, the men have defined sexuality as their priority and main focus. You could speculate that the average male JW is rather low on the evolutionary scale...they have not progressed past the point of living only within their animal nature" that's pretty much it in a nut shell.

    It's the JW men's lost if they overlook us mature women...but guess what? He'll get tired saying,"Do you remember when ..."? & his young thang says..."I don't remember that, I may not have been born yet or Oh, I do remember I think my parents......" eventually, that will get old...then they want to knock on the older women's door late at night to say, My wife (young wife), doesn't understand me, she's not mature...& so on...

    What I've found out in this life...Water finds it's own level.

    I'm kind of a newbie, but haven't seen anyone in the org. I'd give up some of my freedom for. It's the brothers lost if they are not checking for the older sisters...I could go on but that's if for now...

    Tor

  • ToesUp
    ToesUp

    In the world (since we are evil "worldly people now), we are noticing people seem to be waiting to get married. The younger ones seem to want to get educated, travel and generally enjoy their lives before, if ever, they get married.

    You mentioned that the JW men seem to want the pretty faces and thin waists. This will not get the typical man very far. We all get older and as Bette Davis said, "getting old is not for sissies." Our faces and waists do not typically stay the same as when we were 18. The JW's are all about appearances. The men want the Elder title and the typical Elders wife (not all) likes the title just as much (if not more) than the Elder. Yes, they love the thin pretty wife but if that is all their is to the marriage....good luck to them both. There are a lot of good men out there and they are not all JW's. I have met some of the kindest, nicest men in the world. You just may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.

    This cult is male driven (I am a female). No where else in my life was I EVER treated as an "inferior." I was told when I was still active that I was not submissive to my husband. What they didn't know is that my husband does not lord it over me. He listens to me and respects my opinion. Just as I listen to him and respect his opinion. That's a no no in JW land.

    You mentioned you were making decisions about your "spirituality." My suggestion is .....RUN LIKE HELL!

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    This means that an attractive young woman may be prepared to settle for someone who they would under normal circumstances reject as not their type because there is fear that if they don't marry quickly they may never get another offer.....nugget

    Image result for hubba hubba emoticonImage result for Kingdom Hall

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    The friends that was part of the great crowd ( in the 60's and 70's) many have passed on, but

    mostly the men. The wives left behind in their 50's-70's most were financially secured, they

    do not have a problem finding a mate. My daughter keep me inform, dad you remember sister

    so and so ( in her 60's) well she married 70 year old brother so and so now he can stop working.

    This has happen several times in my old congregation.

  • Hecce
    Hecce

    I agree 100% with the idea that the over 30 sisters are at a disadvantage within the WT.

    I am going to mention something that I hope will not be considered in bad taste, due to that sad state of affairs I have seen some sisters become attached to each other and get into lifetime partnerships together as pioneers. In most instances people have the idea that there is more to their relationship that what meets the eye, but no one dares to say it.

    I have witnessed in more than one case.

  • TD
    TD
    "By selecting and choosing "breeding age" women, favoring the sexually available and attractive woman, the men have defined sexuality as their priority and main focus. You could speculate that the average male JW is rather low on the evolutionary scale...they have not progressed past the point of living only within their animal nature" that's pretty much it in a nut shell."

    LOL - Quite true. And the fact that men and women rate needs in a relationship in almost exactly inverse order from each other is one of the more interesting things about humans.

    I have to confess though that I find efforts to put a moral spin on this amusing. Are women so very different? Are women immune to evolutionary psychology themselves or does it just come out in different ways?

    Who is more culpable? The wealthy man with an attractive woman twenty years his junior on his arm or the attractive woman with a wealthy man twenty years her senior on her arm?

    (This again assumes the OP is talking about attraction and not something else.)

  • sparrowdown
    sparrowdown

    Sorry OUTLAW but if that is Sister "Olive Oil" dancing for those brothers she is too old and her boobs aren't big enough!

  • sparrowdown
    sparrowdown

    I assume the OP is talking about being respected as a valued member of the cong - not attraction.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Sorry OUTLAW but if that is Sister "Olive Oil" dancing for those brothers she is too old and her boobs aren't big enough!.....sparrowdown

    The Boob Problem is Fixed!..

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e3/93/34/e39334fe2e8db35b5efbf60f683cf168.jpg

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