Really struggling to go on

by Isambard Crater 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • Reazon22

    I understand your struggle! I've been I torment for years! The reason why I don't go back is because JW's lack humility! When you sit back and judge other religions the impression is given that JW's doesn't have any issues and it makes me sick to the core. Just know you're nothing t the only one. Stay strong man.

  • Isambard Crater
    Isambard Crater

    What makes my life worse and has recently made me stay in bed all day on my days off work is that my husband's family control every aspect of his and our life too, not because of religion but because they're very controlling and also resort to blackmail just like DFing.

    So I feel I literally have no personality left and all the little things I used to do to keep myself sane all seem like a distant memory the more depressed I've become.

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    I was you six years ago and remember how utterly crushing it felt. My whole family are very full-on JWs; I lost contact with some completely, others I lost for a while and we've since rebuilt something of a relationship (my parents).

    My children were young at the time and I knew I needed to get out before the Org poisoned their lives. It was the toughest thing I've ever done but also the best. Weekends never get old. My anxiety and depression are gone.

    And yes, you choose to continue to harm yourself over your parents because you've been conditioned to do so. But that's not healthy or natural. One of the things that made me realise that staying was futile was that my parents aren't able to be truly happy anyway whether I'm with them or not because they're in a cult. There's no sense staying in the water and drowning with them if you have an opportunity for rescue and they refuse to come. I still live in hope that one day my parents may follow my example. Show them the way.

  • Isambard Crater
    Isambard Crater

    Thanks for sharing your eventually positive story Mickey mouse

    I'm assuming your faded and didn't DA or get DFed?

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    I'm faded yes. I ignored all attempts of contact from the elders and didn't do anything overtly to give evidence to them to disfellowship me. My kids barely remember being JWs, I've been to university and have a career now and life is good.

    You'll need a shit ton of counselling but there is life in the other side.

  • pale.emperor

    Guess what Islambard Crater, ALL of our JW family would choose the org over us. Because their minds are not their own. It's like escaping prison but your family want to stay locked inside because they're "sure" it's safer in prison. Let them go. They may shun you, they may not. Either way you'll be able to deal with the situation and move on from there.

    Youre bound to feel depressed when you're living a life that's not in harmony with your values and beliefs. As soon as you stop ALL meeting attendance and stop reading their literature you'll slowly get better. Hell, take a look at my first ever posts. I went through depression when I woke up. I found myself bursting into tears in public, at home and wanting to just die.

    But think of it this way, one day we will all die. We'll get older and sick and pass away. So in the meantime why not just live our lives and try to spread joy and kindness?

    Please be aware that everyone on here cares about you. We want you to get help. Please speak to a professional and get the support you need.

  • SummerAngel

    Hi isambard, with regard to jw situation keep going I agree with earlier poster it is a slog but worth it. Many people are sincere but sincerity doesn't equal truth. These sites can at times be extremely and understandably vitriolic but honey catches more flies than vinegar. One of the many JW falsehoods is if you leave your life will descend into a drug, sex and alcohol fuelled hell with no moral compass. I feel the strongest card you can have is to continue to demonstrate to parents/other JWs that life outside does have actually a better moral compass etc in other words "worldly' people are actually leading a better happier life without the organisation. I do far more for my parents now than my brother who is still in it, I never play the religious card I simply say I want them to feel looked after. I constantly drop into the conversation examples of friends generosity or help and bits of my own life philosophy- such as I believe what goes around comes around, I value people for who not what they are that sort of thing, I try and be gentle and respectful. I've found by gently challenging their stereotypes generated by WT you can introduce doubt into JW thinking, they are victims too just willing ones, although before anyone says it we do all have choice and when I left I was aware I could lose my family and did for a while but I couldn't stay in something I didn't believe in and yes I would describe the feeling as literally being pulled out of it. You have choices and options stay strong these forums are full of 1000,s of survivors all happier for leaving. Xx

  • sparrowdown

    You really are not going to feel better until you start saying yes to yourself and no to excessive unreasonable demands of family. You have a right to privacy and personal time. The family may not like it, but, given time, they will get use to it without the sky falling. Other people are strong enough to deal with less of you while you regroup emotionally.

  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    Hi I.C. - my heart goes out to you.

    There is light at the end of this tunnel - as well as a P.M.

    Talk any time - and gain strength & comfort!

  • Confusedalot

    I suffer from severe depression and it peaked both times when I left the organisation (see my post under experiences: Killing in the name of... for details). Looking back the true God is with those that suffer because of false religion. Even when there are times we may even hate him and ourselves, just hold on, keep seeking him and you will be able to look back one day and see the truth, love and power of God and that he is always with us.

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