by lriddle80 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • lriddle80

    My judicial committee was set for Monday. They knew I wasn't going to show up.

    Meanwhile, I had been ignoring phone calls, but I knew the elders were trying to call.

    Last night, I get a phone call from my dad,

    (who has only called me once ever and the whole conversation was about how much he does for other people and how much those people liked him and how much he does in ministry, otherwise, he has basically ignored me for the past 20 years)

    The message says to call back asap and that he loves me, but he said it like "I love ya, girl" he never has said that to me like that. (Manipulation)

    So, I call back and he says I have been a hard person to get a hold of and that confused me because I had not received any calls from him. He put the elders on the phone and said they wanted to talk to me. They told me that I was disfellowshipped, which they acknowledged that I already knew that and that I have 7 days to appeal. I asked about shunning because the video from that lawsuit in Canada on YouTube the guy said the family still can interact, just not spiritually, so who is telling the truth. He said if I were to get hurt, then the family is allowed to speak to me, but otherwise it's cut off. I admittedly, at that moment, lost my cool and told them they were wrong and have no compassion and that's not the spirit of Jesus and they were cruel. He politely got off the phone and gave it back to my dad.

    I told him that I asked them not to announce it because it would embarrass them and that if they did announce it, the elders aren't being loving to them. I asked how they were doing and he said "great!" With what you can hear is a smile. He was enjoying this. He said he was going to keep serving Jeh, and I declared Me too! And I said he raised a good girl who loves the Lord with all my heart and soul strength and that is why I can never be a jw because of the manipulation, lies and cruelty of the organization. He said that worshipping Jesus was wrong and I offered to send him several scriptures stating the opposite. He said I believed half truths and I said how would he know what I believe? We haven't even had a conversation in years. Plus, I said, how would you know what I am being taught or the things that I have read? Has he looked into it? And he said he would never read apostate literature and I called him ignorant for not knowing what he is talking about. I told him that if he wants to believe lies about me that he made up that he could if that would help him sleep at night. I told him that's what narcissistic people do. I did tell him that Jehovah would judge him and I do regret having that attitude - it's supposed to be please forgive them they know not what they do - I wasn't there at that moment! I did tell him I would work to forgive him. He kept trying to get off the phone. I said, do you really want this to be our last conversation or can we work this out, but he said he was hanging up, so I hung up!

    So, it's done! My takeaways:

    I saw manipulation, no natural affection, deception, sadism, narcissism, unreasonableness, fear and you could tell they were enjoying it the whole time. Nothing but smiles and lies.

    I am hoping this will give me more freedom as I work to forgive my dad and that evil organization. I just have to stop watching videos and reading articles that give me a sense of entitlement towards them. They are white-washed tombs. Wipe the dust off my feet and keep going. If God sees fit to work on their hearts then they will come back to me. But, I have to live in the present and enjoy my freedom!!

    Galatians 5:1 For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery

    Anyways, thanks for listening!!

  • neat blue dog
    neat blue dog

    This story has been repeated time and time again. The organization is just plain abusive and evil, and I sympathize with what you've been put through. We love you! It gets better!

  • Anna Marina
    Anna Marina

    As they are neither Christians and/or Jehovah's Witnesses (meaning a faithful descendant of Jacob) they cannot disfellowship you in the way they like to imagine they can. Jehovah is not with them, to them Jehovah is the apostate because He doesn't agree with GB. If you quote the words of Jehovah's prophets or his first born only begotten son, Jesus Christ at them, and those words contradict GB, they go nuts.

    Gal 5:1

  • nicolaou

    So sorry you've been treated like this. Know that there are so many of us who understand and are on your side.

    Wishing you a brighter future.

  • nicolaou

    Anna Marina is it really necessary to use this posters traumatic experience and plea for understanding to promote your personal ideology?

    I don't want to hijack Iriddle80's topic so won't comment further. Pm me if you wish.

  • Diogenesister

    I just want to say I know it hurts like hell. You intellect will tell you they are narcissistic, cruel unloving and unworthy of you and your love. But your heart will be torn from inside - we are meant to be creatures of family, of tribe, of community. Being rejected and isolated is the cruelest thing you can do to a person. Double that if that person is your child. The media will surround you with images of happy families - worse still with images of utterly dysfunctional families and you will yearn for just a little of that dysfunctional family life.

    It’s time to be the roots of your own family tree. Some people are the roots of a big family tree because of death of their parents. Because of war and separation, even because of slavery in the old days. You are going to be the roots of a giant oak, and the trunk and the branches and the leaves and all the inter dependent creatures will live and love because of YOU. You will look back in 40 years with a small twinge of sadness and then your grandchild will ask his grandma for a cookie and you will instantly forget them.

  • Anna Marina
    Anna Marina

    Nicolaou - I appreciate people have different opinions. You misunderstand my intentions. I'll leave it there and I wont pm you.

  • lriddle80

    Thanks for your kind words everyone!

    Anyone is free to hijack my post...I have probably done that to other people, lol! 😄

  • naomidangerlee

    Ugh its like they are reading from a handbook on how to be smarmy dad to your disfellowshipped/disassociated daughter.

    My dad used almost identical language when trying to talk me into coming back in the early years.

    This from a guy who wouldn't say 'I love you' to me til I was over 16 years of age.

    he message says to call back asap and that he loves me, but he said it like "I love ya, girl" he never has said that to me like that. (Manipulation)
  • days of future passed
    days of future passed

    So your dad was contacted by the elders when they couldn't get you to pick up the phone. And he pitched in and helped. Sad and somewhat predictable. Probably made him feel a little more righteous.

    Even if you expect it, it still can sting. Hope your life goes better from now on.

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