Perhaps we ought to have a section for dating for the not so young! I noticed the Borg told youngsters they could find someone in the Breakout Room on Zoom. How depressing . Even when assemblies are in real time all the volunteering is done with own congregation. They haven't got a lot of opportunity to work out what they need in a partner and have a good look around.
Does he really have a sex problem ?
by ozziepost 23 Replies latest watchtower scandals
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Diogenesister
LUHE he used prostitutes immediately after leaving the Borg, before he met his wife, then stopped using them as time went on, then married his wife ... well, that would be a different situation. But what we have here is some grubby perv who likes using prostitutes, so he goes to Thailand for a month.
Yes and I think maybe some of his younger supporters think that those of us who don't find his behaviour acceptable are somehow making a value judgement on any man who has ever visited their local massage parlour.
It's a very different story maybe a young man who's left the cult and is nervous of relationships having had zero experience with women. Even though I wouldn't advise it, it's totally understandable if he went to a local lady. Or a lonely widower....that kind of thing. Im not a completely heartless, clutching-my-pearls over all-sex-work-in-any-situation type.
As to Lloyd I wonder if his only experience of sex being porn and this has made him a selfish or rough lover, one who expects women to behave the way porn actresses do. It might be she has not been able to orgasm when they first married due to religious guilt and this combined with his inexperience and expectations, exhaustion from working and having a baby (pre you tube wealth) has not made sex especially pleasurable for her.
I'm sure his porn addiction and infidelities have made things 100 times worse. His weight I wasn't going to mention it but that won't help.
I know many people will be horrified that we're picking over his sex life like this. But funnily enough I hope he reads what I've written and takes some of it to heart. If they plan to stay together I'd recommend a sex therapist because his wife is probably feeling *disgust with him at this point and it's going to be impossible to get over that "hump"😜in the road without help.
*Disgust/revulsion is an evolutionary mechanism to protect us from rotten food/excrement etc and once switched on is almost impossible to stop.
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punkofnice
I must admit, I've tried to keep well away from all the Cedars debate because 'celebrity' for want of a better term, doesn't interest me. I don't want these people in my life but they keep crow barring their way into my vision somehow. It all goes to show that people are just big let downs.
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Simon
I don't think there are legitimate or good reasons for anyone to visit a prostitute. Usually the reasons are less than good, not the myths that some believe.
Whatever you do, don't use Lloyds voice in your head when reading some of these quotes:
https://nordicmodelnow.org/myths-about-prostitution/myth-punters-care-about-the-women-they-buy/
https://nordicmodelnow.org/myths-about-prostitution/myth-punters-are-lonely-single-men/
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Simon
I honestly don't know what "sexually incompatible" really means. A google search shows it may just be a myth used because someone is selfish, unloving, and impatient.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/underneath-the-sheets/202106/the-myth-sexual-incompatibility
Otherwise, I assumed it's a sanitized way of saying he wants to do weird and kinky stuff that his wife doesn't.
If it's just that he can't ring her bell then maybe he need to realize that the hookers he's seeing don't really think he's the greatest lover ever - that's an act to get paid / not get beaten.
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FedUpJW
I must admit, I've tried to keep well away from all the Cedars debate because 'celebrity' for want of a better term, doesn't interest me.
Agreed. The saying, "Don't feed the trolls," comes into play. I am sure someone who loves to be the center of attention will take it, even if it is negative attention. He seems to be getting plenty attention.
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JeffT
OK, I started college in 1969 and graduated in 1973. I didn't have any exposure to Watchtowerism until about the time I graduated. That time frame is important because it means I was a teenager/early twenties during some pretty wild times. I was already sexually experienced when I started college. I was more interested in sex drugs and rock and roll than getting an education. (I was there only to keep my II-S draft deferment).
By the time I started studying with the witnesses I had reached a conclusion: sex alone was not the foundation of a good relationship. What I see here is JLE acting like a sex-crazed hormonal teenager. He doesn't need a "sexually compatible" (whatever that is) partner. He needs to grow up.
Lloyd, I hope you do that before you hurt more people. A therapist can help.
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TonusOH
He has mentioned that he is seeing a therapist. I am thinking that the therapist isn't coddling him or telling him what he wants to hear, and has now been added to the litigation and accused of being part of the bullying campaign that threatens to derail his activism, which is simply too important to be stopped!
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Etude
Sexual incompatibility may mean many things. Perhaps one likes oral sex and the other does not want to give it. It could be that, due to past repressive upbringing, a person only wants and performs "missionary". The level of dissatisfaction may bring strain into a marriage or relationship. For some people, it takes an elaborate session of foreplay to get it up and going. If you need some pom-poms or a strip-tease to get your rocks off, it should be worked out between the individuals. If it can't be worked out, then there is some sexual incompatibility.
Still, that's something that should be worked out privately and is no one else's business. If one strays after years of not getting what he or she wants, a paid service will probably give it to them. Sexual habits are hard to break. We criticize the controls the JWs have placed on us regarding sex and most of us agree that it is none of their business what a couple does in private. I don't see why criticize Lloyd's actions, even if we don't agree with them. It was a private matter that seems to me was outed by someone else out of spite. There was no need or urgency to reveal his personal foibles.
For Lloyd and for his marriage to continue, something has to change. But if it doesn't, life can go on in a different manner and with somebody else who is more compatible. I think it's easy for some of us to make determinations about his conduct without understanding the conditioning and pressures an individual goes may have experienced.
Etude.
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no-zombie
I think that with all personal problems, its multi-faceted. However if a person started using women for sex after coming to the complete realization that he has just wasted the last 30,40,50 years of his life, giving it to a organization that doesn't give a damn about truth, then the idea of living it up before you die, isn't that irrational. I've read many posts on this board over the years, where people have confessed to going wild sexually after leaving the 'Truth'. And if you are now a true atheist yourself, then what does it matter what a person does ... as all human value systems, are just unreal constructs created over time by society. In fact in times past, what Lloyd has done was totally normal.