My Boyfriend's Family Wants to Meet Mine (My Parent's are JWs) Help!

by LaurenM 25 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Giordano

  I think the right way forward with this is to meet with His parents only....... and explain the situation with your parents, your inactivity with the JW religion the possibility of being shunned etc.

  Why you chose to fade in hopes that you can keep a relationship with your family intact.

  Describe the attitude about dating outside the religion and the restraints on your father as an Elder.

  As always, Pete Zahut comes up with a great idea ie showing them family photos to demonstrate that you do have a family. If you indeed eventually marry you will have a legal position that even your Elder father will have to accept.
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  ttdtt

  DO NOT tell them about him - and tell your BF what it means to be a JW.

  By the way, you should be banging each other senseless by now!!!!
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  DesirousOfChange

  ttdtt -- I guess your "banging each other senseless" didn't go over well. (3 dislikes).

  Seemed like good advice to me, but then I'm an X-JW and no longer tied to those unrealistic man-made standards that I used to hold dearly.
  
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  shepherdless

  I agree with PizzaZahut and Giordano. I would just try to explain the situation to your boyfriend’s parents. You will generally find that normal people are usually pretty reasonable and accomodating.

  The hardest part is likely to be to get them to understand how dogmatic the borg’s adherents are. Normal people will often find it hard to comprehend. (It is a battle I have faced.) They are likely to think that you are grossly exaggerating or something like that. You might have to show them some apostate websites or something like that.

  Edit: why not show your boyfriend’s parents this very thread? It might be the quickest way to get the point across.
• 

  steve2

  I don’t know your age or the circumstances but I am curious as to why your boyfriend’s parents want or need to meet your parents when you aren’t even engaged.

  Before my partner and I purchased a West Highland Terrier we wanted to meet his parents. It's a fabulous opportunity to check the "stock" and see what kind of dog we were getting. You can tell a lot from puppies by hanging round their parents.

  Your boyfriend's parents seem to want to do the same.
  
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  ttdtt

  DesirousOfChange- I guess there i still a lot of repression about sex. It's what you get when you're in a cult for a long time.
• 

  berrygerry

  Don't do it.

  One redditor had been faded for more than 5 years.

  He was living with his GF.

  His mom told the elders, who started an investigation.

  (He ended up getting married, so they finally backed off)
• 

  just fine

  My now husband didn’t meet my parents for more than 10 years after we were married. Explain to your boyfriend the realities of parents being in a cult. They will understand. I refused to give my JW relatives anything to use against me to try and inflict emotional pain. You don’t have to let them hurt you.
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  OnTheWayOut

  My opinion, if you don't share your life with your family then you might as well be shunned. I would have a heart-to-heart talk with the boyfriend and his family about what it means to be a faded Jehovah's Witness, then I would approach my family and present my significant other that I claim I'm not having sex with and I'm contemplating getting married too.

  His family would be forewarned to help you approach this delicately.
• 

  floridaborn

  To live your life you're going to have to put your happiness above everyone else's. I learned this recently dating an "unbeliever". It didn't matter that I had been extremely irregular before but as soon as I started dating my current boyfriend I became "bad association" and have been shunned by my family?

  Are you ready for that possible outcome? Is living on the fence just to have conditional love from your family worth it?

  I'm not trying to be harsh, just something I've had to deal with personally very recently.

  Don't feel rushed by his family either. If your boyfriend is OK with it just enjoy each other and the time you two get to spend together.