I have been beating myself up a bit with the other replies.
This is part of the problem. You continue to place too much importance on what others think and tell you to do, allowing them to control you.
Everyone here is a faceless stranger at the end of a keyboard. We all have an opinion, and like it or not, not everyone is going to tell you what you want to hear. Even if harsh, there is probably something useful in what was said by each. Keep what is useful and discard the rest, not only here but everywhere else throughout life.
You have permitted your mother and others in the congregation to control who you date and marry and other aspects of your life, even after becoming an adult when you should be making those decisions for yourself. Your mother, congregation or forum members are not going to live with the consequences to those decisions, only you will, often for the remainder of your life.
You need to decide when enough is enough and start taking control and making your own decisions. Of course, the family you were involved in creating, also need to be considered. Although easier said than done, these are things which could be discussed with a therapist to obtain unbiased support and suggestions.
Suggest also reading Susan Forward's book: Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
The issues considered may be applied to all relationships not only to parents.