Help with fading, please...

by longgone 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • scratchme1010

    Well, I am considering that she wants to continue a relationship with her family. If that's the premise, running away is not going to help in any way shape or form.

    Otherwise, I'd completely agree with the rest of the suggestions. But there's a statement of attempting at maintaining a relationship with current, active for generations JWs.

    If that's not longer a priority, then yes, run and keep running.

  • Disassociated Lady 2
    Disassociated Lady 2

    I think the elders are now wise to people getting reinstated to have family contact and then fading after a while. They don't let you fade anymore, you will be harassed until they find some dirt on you to disfellowhip you. I have experienced this and also know of it happening to others :-( x

  • sparrowdown

    JWs are not worth maintaining a relationship with.

    People you cannot trust and cannot be yourself around.

    Living in fear of displeasing dubs and their delicate little sensitivities is absolute hell, and not worth the grief. IMO.

  • TheListener

    Just wanted to say hi and welcome. There is already tons of good advice on this thread and others so I hope this forum really helps you.

    Please remember you are not alone.

  • millie210

    Lots of good advice here. Just welcoming you to the forum.

    You are not alone and please, dont be afraid. We are all here for you,

  • longgone

    Thanks everyone for the nice welcome and much needed support. I feel better already. 😊

  • OnTheWayOut
    Freddo: Just shut the door on her and don't take her phone calls. Forever.
    Use this stupid sister and her stalking of you to your advantage. Ignore every attempt by any elder to engage you in conversation. Firmly tell them to leave you alone.

    I have to agree. You are at such a terrible point in time with the locals. Just shut them out of your life and advance your fade with leaps and bounds- that's what I would say.
    I know it's hard to do. But let everyone think what they think.

    Screen all your calls. You can tell anyone that wants to visit your home that they must call from their cell phone as you won't answer the door. If any JW's try to stop you getting out of your car or at the market, just be strong and say "I am not discussing it." If you need to say more, add "...As long as that sister is free to harass me and you elders don't call her off, I cannot talk to you either."

    The main thing about a fade is family. You lose "friends" and have to adopt an attitude of "don't give a crap" about some crazy pioneer sister or the elders. Just don't do anything openly to cause them to take judicial actions. Meanwhile, talk about normal non-JW things to family to the best of your ability. Let them misunderstand and don't even try to explain anything about your fade to them. "Let's not talk about that. Let's talk about good things, family matters." That should be enough.

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