Discussion, Debate, and just plain Dissing Off

by onacruse 60 Replies latest members adult

• 

  Oxnard Hamster

  To be honest, I was hoping this would be a support board for ex JWs. I was hoping it would primarily consist of reading and commenting on other people's experiences and learning that leaving was indeed the right thing. After all, it is a difficult group to leave, even if you haven't been with them that long. I can just imagine how difficult it was for you life-timers.

  But I see some here are extremely fixated on having every opinion, belief, statement, or gut feeling backed up my hard evidence. And some are fixated on gaining intellecual enlightenment.

  Now, If I was mistaken, and the board was intended to consist of primarily the latter, then I'll gladly back up my bags and leave.
• 

  StinkyPantz

  I love everybody!! Discuss away. .. .
• 

  Oxnard Hamster

  If I'd been slammed to the wall in that first few weeks, I'd very probably have just flipped y'all off and said "The WTS was right; apostates are just a bunch of disgruntled unappreciative jerks."

  I hate to admit it, but that did pass through my mind at least once.
• 

  Prisca

  Oxnard,

  This board is primarily a place to receive and offer help, but there are those here that want to debate topics. The point is, you don't HAVE to join in any debates, no matter how much some may try to egg you on. Just post on the threads that interest you, and if you don't feel like backing up any statements you make, then I don't think you should have to. Afterall, it's YOUR time that you're spending online, and how you use that time online is YOUR choice, not someone elses.

  That's how I see it, and that's how I spend my time on this site. If someone wants to challenge me over something I said, I will choose whether I respond or not.

  Anyway, you've only been on the board for a short time. Over the next couple of months you will work out which posters are only interested in debate, and who are interested in you.

  Welcome to the board.
• 

  onacruse

  Prisca, you just showed why you're one of my fav posters

  which posters are only interested in debate, and who are interested in you.

  And thus you get back to the most fundamental issue.

  Craig
• 

  Prisca

  Thanks ona

  Is it too much to expect that "newbies" should be treated with kid's-gloves?

  I think newbies, especially those who are doubting JWs or newly-out JWs, should be given some lear-way, and treated with patience and respect. Of course, this isn't easy to do if the newbie starts his/her posts with attacks and insults, but that scenario is a rarity. Most post after lurking for a number of days/weeks/months, and it is daunting to start off posting amongst strangers, even if it's just a timid "hello"

  Once we get accustomed to posting on this site, I think we sometimes forget what it's like to be a complete stranger on a boardful of people. Not to mention someone who isn't sure if they're making the right decision in leaving the Dubs. It takes time to leave the JWs emotionally and mentally. So that is why newbies need some space so that they can come to conclusions at their own pace, not ours.
• 

  dedalus

  Why? Because you said we need to? And how am I supposed to back it up? Sit around and do extensive research and do a bunch of calculations? Maybe I just accept it as our origins, just as anyone else accepts another theory.

  Hey, that's fine, Ox, but why do you keep knocking research? I've been reading around in the threads in which you've appeared, and you keep saying that you haven't done research, don't want to do research, but somehow you accept this or that as the truth. In the absence of intelligent investigation, what is it that compels you to accept, say, Genesis, with all of its contradictions and ethical problems (which are, in fact, common knowledge, and not esoteric bits of research)?

  Your mistake, I think, is that when you say you accept Genesis "just as anyone else accepts another theory," you're wrong. I could explain very extensively and precisely why evolution is far more compelling a theory than the Genesis account of creation. However, you are unable to explain why you think Genesis is more compelling. As you say, you "just accept it." People want to know why. If there's a good reason, maybe I'll accept it too.

  Realize that I'm not asking you to explain Genesis to me. Nor am I attacking you. I actually think you're a terrific poster who brings something a bit original to the board. And consequently I'm curious about what you think. I am, however, asking you why you are so complacent about your beliefs.

  Socrates said that the unexamined life is not worth living. And, he might have added, the unexamined faith is not worth holding.

  Dedalus
• 

  SixofNine

  clue for Oxnard: if you see Socrates, run like hell!
• 

  SixofNine

  and yes, sometimes brought up my boil.

  *bats eyelashes innocently and brings up the deep south*

  Why Craig Onacruse, whatever do you mean?
• 

  kgfreeperson

  Here's a "truth" I believe absolutely: the harder it was for us to accept something, the more of ourselves we had to give up in order to accept something, the more we have invested in accepting something, the angrier and more irrational will be our response to a challenge to that something. JWs have had to swallow a lot of camels and have given up their whole selves to be accepted within this cult. It is hardly surprising that their buttons get pushed on an hourly basis--even when they have grave doubts about the overall organization. I'm not sure what the most useful approach is to people who are very reactive, perhaps in reaction to the pain they are experiencing at having their whole live-view torn apart. It depends, I guess on the overall purpose of the board. Is it more to help people in that state come all the way out of the organization and into a more healthy mental state? Or is it more a community of people who share a common trauma and who are now living their lives as best they can? And if I knew how to do it right I'd be rich and famous.