Should I do this?

by CivilServant79 35 Replies latest jw experiences

  • steve2

    So much excellent advice - I can only say, "Yes!" to it all.

    Boil it down and this is the message:

    Uncle or not, coffee or not, it is dangerous for you to disclose what's on your mind.

  • CivilServant79

    Thanks yes you’re right. It’s a lot to take on board.

    By the way I am an Male haha! I guess I didn’t actually mention that.

    Yes i I know about the elders book and read the newest version.

    A committee can only be formed if I do something wrong and there’s witnesses to it no?

    I know fading something that doesn’t go quickly. It seems like the less you say and do, the better.

    I have moved away not far tho, maybe about half an hours drive away.

    I’m going to have to get my head around not being with my extended family. I am/was very very close to them. I lived with my grandparents for 3 years and it’s hard.

    But I think they’ll shun me whether I’m disfellowed or not...

    thanks again everyone

  • john.prestor

    A committee requires two witnesses or a confession in the presence of the committee. Your uncle only counts for one, but if you tell him you don't believe in god, and you tell another family member later, even though you told both individually that counts together as two witnesses if they both run to the Elders. Keep that in mind. Your uncle doesn't need to run to the Elders. He is one.

    Look, you're getting a lot of advice and I'm giving you advice too but here's what it comes down to, you need to trust your gut because you actually know the guy but also think ahead about what you want to come out of this. Are you looking to feel better? Most likely if you're honest with the guy he's gonna make you feel worse. Are you looking for affirmation? He's not going to give it to you. What do you hope to come out of the conversation with him?

  • Lost in the fog
    Lost in the fog

    Welcome to this forum.

    The thing to bear in mind is that it's possible that the local body of elders met to discuss those who are inactive or no longer attending the meetings and assigned an elder or two to each of them and to report back to the body later.

    It's possible that they picked this brother to meet with you because he is family.

    Personally I would be very very careful about saying anything to him on this basis.

  • Giordano

    Sorry I got your gender wrong.....That's a first on my part.

    A lot of good advice given, a lot of smart people contributed. The bottom line is we want you to be able to move forward and live your life with your own truth.

    So you've got a home here if and when you need it or to just hang out and maybe you'll be the one handing out the advice to others in need based on your experience.

    What a lot of us have learned on this forum is.....when the crap hit's the fan ......the first thing you do is unplug the fan.

  • nonjwspouse


    What a lot of us have learned on this forum is.....when the crap hit's the fan ......the first thing you do is unplug the fan.

Share this