Was my dad awake?!

by EyesOpenHeartBroken 24 Replies latest jw experiences

  • EyesOpenHeartBroken

    I am wondering if my deceased elder father was awake? Once we found out he was dying, I spent every moment I could with him, we were very close. Anyway, I offered to read to him a lot when he was resting. I often suggested various WT publications, but he consistently turned them down and wanted me to read only the Bible, particularly the books of John and James. He also told me those books were all I needed to be a Christian, the "rest is background noise". I thought we had more time, so I didn't ask what he meant. So I have spent the last decade trying to figure it out/read between the lines. Sometimes my father was a bit cryptic, but I generally was intuitive to his meanings. So I have read these two Bible books countless times, originally with JW filters, but the last few years I have chosen to read the Bible completely free of interpretation outside of my own. Well little did I know, that would completely derail any confidence I have had in the GB as spiritual leaders (along with all their JW TV stuff). But for now, I am still outwardly active JW.

    As a side note, my father often used the term "rank and file", which I didn't hear other JWs use. And when he spoke about the uptight type elders on the body, he used the term "company man". He refused to attend the elder meeting at assemblies because he felt he did not have the right to vote on how much the friends could contribute at the assemblies, and apparently money was the only thing discussed at those top secret meetings. He also told me once, quite out of the blue, that if anybody in the hall ever confided in me about sexual abuse, that I should help them get to the police firstly, not the elders because "that is not an elder matter" (quoting him).

    Anyway, just wondered if any of these things strike anybody here that maybe he was awake or headed there? Please be nice...my dad was one of my favorite people and a good man. I have lurked for a while but this is my first post and I really don't feel like I'm on solid ground yet. I still believe in God and put faith in Jesus, uncertain about the role of the Bible, particularly the OT, but I do not wish to discuss my beliefs here at this time. Thoughts anyone on my dads references?

  • Ignoranceisbliss

    Sounds like a good man worthy of respect. Probably awake as well. Company man is not a term a fully in dub would use IMHO.

    Welcome to the board!

    edited to add that I love your name

  • JWdaughter
    Your dad was one of the good guys.
  • Illuminated

    A sad overall situation, especially to have you wondering. It does sound like he had awakened.

    Wishing you peace.

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Hello EyesOpenHeartBroken,

    Welcome to the forum.

    To me it sounds like your Elder Father could have been a member here or at least a lurker. He gave you some wonderful advise. Did he have access to a computer 10 years and more ago? If he did, then, I would say he knew TTATT. (The truth about the 'Truth'). If he was not computer literate then I would say he woke up, figured out the WT/GB were shysters on his own.

    I am happy for him and you that you had some time together.



  • wannaexit

    Your dad was a great man-one that wasn't afraid to stand up for what he thought was right. From what you write he was as genuine as they come. I've heard "rank and file" used by witnesses but "company men?" I can't imagine anybody entrenched in this cult use that expression. Also the fact the he only wanted to listen to the Bible, would lend itself to someone who was able to see what was behind the curtain.

    By the way WELCOME

  • Marvin Shilmer
    Marvin Shilmer
    He was awake.
  • Ding
    Sounds like he engaged in a lot of independent thinking, which is good.
  • Crazyguy
    Sounds like your dad was a Gnostic and somewhat awake. Except for being and elder I was on my to being like your dad until I read about the God El, damn those archyoligists.
  • DesirousOfChange

    Yep, he sounds like one of us. He probably didn't know where you stood on it all, or perhaps did not want to burst your bubble. It's not always an easy thing to "awake up" to TTATT.

    RIP, Dad.

    There are lots of things that I wish I would have asked my Dad before his death. Too late now.


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