I don't believe in JW doctrines anymore but because of family I have to be a JW for now.. i am not regular to meetings, and don't answer in meeting, but I report some hours so I remain as active JW now..
Congregation knows that I am not spiritual and I don't talk to people and I don't care what they think about me.. Now, I believe it's important to observe Lord's Supper as a Christian as per John 6:53, so in the coming memorial if i attend I want to partake in the communion,.. I believe it is a sin to pass the bread and wine inspite of knowing it's flesh and blood of Jesus.. It's like rejecting Jesus.. So I want to partake.. But i dont consider I am anointed etc. I just accept Jesus as my mediator..
Now, if I do this I am sure the congregation people are going be shocked, because according to them I am not spiritual, I know the society says not to question people who partake etc.. So if I partake will there be any official problems for me? Like judicial enquiry, warning or possibility of disfellowship etc?... If there is any problem I don't think I will want to attend the sinful memorial.. Can any experienced JW advise me?