by nowawake14 22 Replies latest jw friends
re Kingdom hall friends.
We moved house-long distance- for work. Family we had been (I thought)close to said they would keep in touch.
She has phoned twice in 26 years on both occasions to ask for my bro phone number. Witness friends I have found are there if you are in each others face. This loss of friendships I put down to the demands of the wt to be busy busy busy so never get attached to any depth to anyone...
HM wt marriages are like that as well?
I have not be to a kh in probably 6 years or so, I will not be going back.
At the same time, there are alot of people I miss, friends who would have done anything to help me. They obviously do not feel the same way anymore, but I do miss them, I hope they wake up, i hope they see what is going on.
I hate what I was taught, but at the same time, certain qualities that were stressed since i was young have benefitted me with my friends and professionally. I think I might be rambling, but I think most people in life are good, and that includes alot of jws, I just wish they could see the big picture.
I know those who have left jws have happiness and freedom, I know I do, but I would absolutely be lying if I said I didn't miss my old friends.
Don't let the cult be your comfort blanket, they may smother you with it.
What a nice analogy!
I just needed to see some friends.
People with actual friends just give their friends a call, visit them, or invite them if they miss them.
No need for religious meetings to provide the opportynity to see their friends.
Why don't you?
Or won't they take your call, invite you in, accept your invitation?
In that case, they're not friends. They're people you used to know.
The sooner you realize that, the sooner you will start building new friendships with people who actually care about you.
I have reached out over the years to a few I considered good friends while in the "truth" for 33 years and even though a couple seemed genuinely pleased that I made that initial contact they have never bothered to reciprocate my call to them and that has been years ago now.
My philosophy now is "If they don`t want to know me ,I don`t want to know them "
one of the last meetings i attended was a sunday afternoon at circuit assembly--with my wife and kids. i used to go occasionally to keep the peace and turn down the nagging noises. this was in 1980.
after the assembly--we arranged to meet another jw couple we knew well and have a meal at their house. little was i to know that evening an affaire would start between me and the other woman.
this affaire led to my divorce--and total freedom from the cult. the affaire lasted about 18 months.
a couple of years later i met a woman who i married 6 months later. she was a bit curious about the jw thing--and as there was another circuit assembly coming up--i took her to the public talk ( so there was one member of the public there ! )
only problem--i thought it would start at 3-30pm---and we walked in half way through!.
i was well known in that circuit ( i live on a small island--several 100 dubs live here )...and i sensed a stifled gasp as i walked in.
after 10 minutes--my new wife had had enough--and wanted to go--but i didnt want all those hateful eyes on me--so we stayed to the end of the talk.
next day--my former girlfriend phoned me up to ask if it was true---had i really attended--and who was the person with me. i told her--yes we had--and the lady is my new wife.
i never heard from her again--or attended a another meeting ( except for 1 wedding and a funeral --but i dont count those as meetings )
i'm now married again--for the 4th time. my 4th wife is catholic--although she hasnt been to church since ive known her. but if she wanted to go--i would be quite happy to take her--if she wanted me to.
This is something that has stuck in my mind shortly after I physically stopped going to meetings. I got a visit from a couple who stopped by while out in field service. I invited them in and gave them lunch. I was happy to see them. Then after an hour I was informed they had meet someone the week before who may of wanted to have a bible study and they were going to see if he was home. The reason I remember it so well is because of how quickly they were to give up on some one who had been involved in the religion for 4 decades in order to go and persue some random member of the public who may not of even been home. I remember going to a sales meeting, and the comment was made it takes 5x more effort and money to find a new customer than what it takes to keep existing one happy- I remember on hearing this my mind recalling this lunch incident. Very good advice wt could learn from.
If I ever went back to a KH it would probably be with a gas canister in hand because it was on fire and the fire was dying down.
And some of us are PIMO and don't just unreasonably walk away becuase we have our friends here and there.
I didn't need such friends that were mainly focused on judging me for my involvement in the organization. Even if that were not the case, like many here, I was unable to take the b.s. of the meeting itself to try to reap some friendship benefits. Better to find new friends.
