I gave the elders some ammo to use

by atacrossroads 58 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  atacrossroads

  I was having dinner at Olive Garden with my cousin who was disfellowshipped for apostacy. A holier than thou pioneer couple saw us. If that was not enough I saw her take a picture of me with my cousin. They are so pathetic. I have been trying to fade but it has not been easy because my family will not let me be. They ran straight to the elders. I have not been summoned by mail to an official JC but if I am I will NOT attend. They can kiss my ass. My dad sent me an email that the elders would like to speak to me. I did not reply. My husband received an email from his father about me associating with my df'd apostate cousin. Hubby does not think the elders will come after me but I am not so sure.

  I used to be scared shitless about the prospect of being df'd but now I don't even care. Our families have turned into borderline stalkers. Whenever they look at me they have such disappointment in their eyes. My in-laws think I am some kind of she devil who has turned their son against the witnesses. The love that use to be in their eyes is no longer there. I find it so sad. All because I left their religion.
• 

  River Song

  JW's religion of conditional love. I'm glad you're getting out. Good on you
• 

  freddo

  You cannot (officially) be df'd for associating with DF'd - especially when it was an urgent and extremely private financial/business matter which it was of course!

  But ... there is the "catch all" brazen conduct and causing divisions which can be wheeled out by zealot elders to back up their action by stating you are disturbing the peace of the congregation. You will also get stick for publicly meeting and eating with said df'd person.

  If you want to tell'em to do one and take the consequences of shunning and initial loneliness (it can hit you like a ton of wet sand especially if you haven't really prepared for it) then fine but if you want to play the long game then DO NOT MEET WITH THEM and tell any enquirer you are not prepared to discuss "a private financial/business" meeting under any circumstances. You might also be a little contrite and say yes maybe I shouldn't have met in public but It needed to be done.

  Any twinges of guilt can be suppressed by remembering you are playing the theocratic warfare game back at them.

  Best wishes.
• 

  The Searcher

  McCarthyism, communism, Stalinism, Nazism, J.W.-ism - they all have the common denominators of fear and wanting to suck up to those who exert authority/punish the majority.

  J.W.'s now realise their "spiritual paradise" is really a spiritual nightmare!
• 

  ctrwtf

  Relax.....The only sin that I can see here is that you were eating at an Olive Garden. Just shameful
• 

  cognac

  She took a PICTURE of you???? Cripes almighty, what a b*tch!
• 

  tiki

  The photo taking is really disturbing. It is way too invasive and I don't know the law but it should be reported to the police I would think. But that probably wouldn't make any difference...theocratic warfare and all..?
• 

  jookbeard

  I would have walked up to her in front of the entire restaurant demand that she delete the picture or grab her phone of her, if she doesn't tell her you will sue her
• 

  cognac

  I mean, taking a photo of you... It is just soooooo creepy... Ugh...
• 

  Saintbertholdt

  I think if you're cornered and you have to talk to an elder or elders the old Watchtower theocratic war strategy might be in order. The elders are not entitled to your private business and so spinning whatever story with even a grain of truth is in order:

  1. Use any family business that was discussed (oh aunt Peggy is ill) and blow it to proportions that warranted the 'mandatory' contact or...

  2. Say that your 'apostate' cousin was having thoughts about returning to the organization but wanted to discuss it with a close family member first and NOT any elders.

  3. You were having dinner on your cousin's request with the express purpose of discussing 'aunt Peggy' and/or his glorious return to the Watchtower. He didn't want to talk to any elders and would only confide in you but only in a social setting.

  4. If after some time if you are prodded again just say 'aunt Peg' recovered and/or your cousin suffered a relapse.

  5. If you are ever asked why you haven't been back to meetings you can say that you wanted to but after you we're photographed by the pioneer couple you now feel quite depressed and scarred. You're getting better and will return soon but you just need some time...