No invitation

by inky 32 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  unique1

  Sorry I read it wrong. Ignore the you and your wife part and replace it with (his own mother). MY BAD.
• 

  xjw_b12

  Inky. Welcome to this forum.

  Sadly a great deal of first time posters here, start their initial thread, after experiencing trauma at the hands of jws and your case is no exception. We share in your anger and offer our unconditional love and hope for you AND your son.

  DJ hit the nail on the head, when she encouraged you to show love to him anyways. He is, as most of us were, disconnected form reality.

  But there is hope, and this forum is living testimony.

  xjw_be one too " Millions Now Living Will Never Die Know "
• 

  Dawn

  ((((((Inky)))))))))

  My brother was just married and I was not invited - however, he did send an invitation to my son AND ask that I pay the plane fare for him to travel cross country and attend - plus rent a tuxuedo so my son could be in the wedding. I wanted to tell him to shove it up his....(you know).... BUT here is my advice...

  Your younger son is taking this all in and watching how both you and your older son handle this situation. Handle it with dignity and grace - keep your chin up (no matter how hard) - acknowledge their desire not to invite you but don't hide how much it hurts. Let them know that you love them and are deeply saddened that you are not invited - but do it in a kind and dignified way. And don't put your younger son in the middle, he may feel like he has to stick up for his brother or something. Also - let yourself be sad and cry - don't try to act like this is the way it's supposed to be or that it's normal - it's NOT normal and you have been treated very badly.

  In my situation I did pay for my son to travel and rented his tux. I told my son how much this whole thing hurt me, but that it was still a positive thing in my brother's life and we should celebrate it as best we can - that I was going to try and handle this as a christian should. My son went to the wedding, and after coming back he made it pretty clear to everyone that he thought that JW side of the family was full of crap and he respected what I had done.
• 

  inky

  Thank you everyone. You really gave me food for thought. I do realize that my youngest son is watching how I deal with this. He is almost 19 years old and definately does NOT want to be a JW.

  Yes. I was DA'd from the congregation a year ago. This was done without my knowledge on the sly. I found out about it 6 months later. My 3 children who are still JW's take this shunning thing seriously. They did not even call or ask me how I was doing when I had cancer surgery and chemotherapy. Can you believe that!!!!

  I do not know if I can handle going to the wedding uninvited but I WILL let my son know how I feel. Maybe just maybe it will make him think.

  You guys are the greatest

  Inky
• 

  Prisca

  They did not even call or ask me how I was doing when I had cancer surgery and chemotherapy.

  Disown them, they have already disowned you.
• 

  Gizmo

  "They did not even call or ask me how I was doing when I had cancer surgery and chemotherapy. Can you believe that"!!!!

  I don't know what to say
• 

  Mulan

  You were such an awesome mother to all those kids, and they won't forget that.

  If I were you, I would help all I could to get "R" to the wedding and buy an outrageous wedding present..............you have the list now, and write them a long letter about what an important day it is, and how much you love him.

  Personally I don't understand why you can't go. At many weddings we attended over the years, including our own family weddings, disfellowshipped family were there, and no one gave a rip about it. If you show up, believe me, no one in that congregation, will have the guts to turn you away.

  There are lots of us who would go with you too....................if you want to do it, I will go with you too.
• 

  Shakita

  At many weddings we attended over the years, including our own family weddings, disfellowshipped family were there, and no one gave a rip about it.

  Yes, I also know of DF'd relatives who attended weddings of family, but not the reception.

  If it was my son, I would go. And, I would take pictures! You gave birth to him, loved him, cared for him.....you before any others in that hall deserve to see him get married.

  Mrs. Shakita
• 

  Mulan

  We went to a wedding, of two of the pioneers. The groom had a disfellowshipped father, who was rich, and he hosted the reception...............and poured champagne, and bought the best gift they received. He had been df'd for 25 years, and maybe everyone thought it was so long ago that no one cared anymore. We didn't care, and no one else did either.

  But...............that is one WEIRD congregation too.

  Irene............I think you should go. I can't believe he doesn't want you there, but a formal invitation may be forbidden.

  Hang in there.............you are getting some great advice. You can always come over and cry on your Uncle Dave's shoulder...........and mine too.

  If I tell my Mom about this, she will call him and play "grandma". She doesn't get the family shunning.........it is wrong............we never did that either.
• 

  Billygoat

  (((((((((((((inky))))))))))))))

  I am so sorry. My first wedding (huge Catholic party!) was unattended by my JW parents and siblings. My second wedding, just last October, was also unattended by my parents and siblings. I really struggled with it, as I even offered to have a non-religious civil ceremony. It didn't matter. I never even received an invitation to my little brother's wedding last September. It broke my heart. Know that you are not alone. So many of us hear understand the struggle in your heart.

  Andi