No invitation

by inky 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • inky
    inky

    Hi , I have not posted here for a long time but have bee lurking. I am part of the Mulan Dynasty. I just need to vent and you guys are it.

    The wedding invitation from my son came to my house today. He is being married on June 27th. He is an active JW and of course I am not. Of course it was not addressed to me. It was addressed to my youngest son who is living with me. I was not invited. Words cannot express how hurt and angry I am. To think that a son would not invite his own mother to his wedding because she happens to believe differently than him is simply beyond my comprehension. I did not expect to be invited but secretly hoped that he would somehow see the "rightness" of it. I have not even been introduced to his fiance. Just when I am happy (for the first time in over 2 years) those JW's throw me a curve like this and I am sucked back into the anger and resentment again. Please tell me how to deal with this. Or maybe you have had a similar experience and can let me know what helped you to cope.

    Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

    Inky

  • minimus
    minimus

    Inky, I just read your bio. It seems that you've known what would not happen for quite a while. The reality still shocks and hurts, doesn't it? I feel for you, I really do......But, there's nothing you can do when OTHER people are under such mind control.

  • WildHorses
    WildHorses

    ((((((((((((Inky))))))))))) I don't know what to say, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am that your feelings were hurt.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    It has been 3 years since my daughter got married and I'm still angry at my JW mother for not coming because I would be there

    This organization does its best to isolate its members regardless of the personal and emotional costs.

    I suspect if the rules were different you would have been invited. Perhaps not in a role of honored mother of the groom but at least as a guest. He may have not made this decision on his own either. He may have been pressured into it by other JWs.

    My heart goes out to you but I know you are not alone (((inky))) and welcome

  • blondie
    blondie

    I am sorry, inky. I take it you are inactive and not DA'd or DF'd. If so, then they are really self-righteous Pharisees. I cannot see how any real love can reside in the heart of someone who would do that to a family member (or a friend). I have been to JW weddings where inactive family members came, even a wedding where a DF'd family came to the KH.

    Technically, if a wedding is in a KH it is a public event and they cannot uninvite you to it. It is like going to a meeting at the KH. Of course, that may cause a ruckus, since I don't really know your family. The coldness that some may show you may be more than you want to endure.

    I married my husband when I was inactive and some of my JW family chose not to come but most came. The ones that didn't come tried to sway the others but were told to take the high road. I have some family that are rebellious JWs. The ones I least wanted to come were the ones who boycotted the event so it made for a lovely time.

    It reminds of how the Pharisees viewed the common people as sinners without hope, lower than the earth, beyond redemption. Jesus did not share that view.

    Keep showing love where and when you can.

    Blondie

  • IslandWoman
    IslandWoman

    Inky,

    I am so sorry this hurtful thing has happened. There are many others who have not been able to attend a child's wedding or have not been allowed to see their grandchildren because of the Watchtower's stupid rule keeping.

    I know of a JW daughter who when having to tell her mother she could not come to the wedding, cried as she told her.

    This is so sad, but I hope that one day your son will come to you asking for forgiveness, because really he did not know what he was doing. He was manipulated by a rule keeping religion.

    Sincerely,

    IW

  • shamus
    shamus

    I am joining the chorus, too, saying how sorry I am for you...

    Time will tell if he comes around. It may be years later,,,,,,, just know that you're right, and they're wrong. They are a cult and they have ahold of him for now.

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Inky,

    It's awful. I'm sorry.

    outnfree

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    ((((Inky)))) Welcome to the forum! I am so sorry to hear about your son's behavior. I know that hurts immeasurably. I wish I had a good suggestion on how to feel better, but it's a stinky situation and I can't think of anything except throwing a Watchtower against the nearest wall, really hard. That used to help me . . . .

    Love,

    Nina

  • SheilaM
    SheilaM

    Inky: I am so sorry. Just remember it's not your son's fault it's the organization. I really don't want to tell you to not be angry because I would be also. Can you write your son and tell him how you feel?

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