No invitation

by inky 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    (((((inky))))) so sorry for your pain. I can't imagine how much you must be hurting right now.

    I'd be inclined to turn up anyway. Maybe stand at the back of the Hall so not to cause a scene, but at least you'll be there to see your son get married.

  • gumby
    gumby

    Please tell me how to deal with this.

    I would take Prisca's advise and go. Nobody can keep you from attending the hall.....even for a wedding. Even if you showed up at the reception ( not that you would)....the society simply say's that if a dfed person were to show up.....some may choose to leave.

    Don't miss something you will regret. I'll bet your son would be happy to see your face there.Your son no doubt loves you very much ,but at the same time believes he is being loyal to god. The way to deal with this is.......deal with it. There isn't much that can be done that hasn't been tried. The only way they change is if they get out......or learn it's wrong but stay in for "safety" reasons.

    I hope you go to the wedding.

    Glad you are here with us and sharing this,

    Gumby

  • minimus
    minimus

    I do know of people that have been barred from the Hall for a wedding. They had attendants at the door to make sure certain ones didn't show up....I also know of a couple that got DF'd that were told to no longer come to our KH by 2 elders because they created stress for the ex-husband who's wife cheated on him. A JW wedding is considered a private affair by some (not all, though).

  • DJ
    DJ

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((INKY))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    So mean. If it helps at all I had a baby and my parents didn't care. I had a husband who had an accident and needed 23 red cell (forbidden fraction) in critical condition for a month, while I was pregnant with my second baby and we were in them middle of moving because our house was sold.........and no one cared, except to remind me that my husband and I needed to repent for allowing the blood. Which btw, was not our decision but was done in the OR because he was basically bleeding to death externally and internally. We moved the day he came home from the hospital in a wheelchair and very weak....no help. I needed a circlage (sp) so that I wouldn't lose the baby and I had to take a taxi to the hospital because my husband couldn't drive yet and everyone else was too busy....Our new house wasn't built yet so we lived in a hotel for a month with me still pregnant and our 5 yr. old, while my husband still needed physical therapy 3x a week and endless doctor's appt.'s.... When I offered clothing that my 5 yr. old outgrew to my siblings for their kids, I was told that it was demonic.... ETC>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Misery loves company sometimes, inky. I hope this helped you. Just love him anyway and remember that he is blind and misled and they have put hatred in his heart. You did nothing wrong except be his mama and leave a false cult. Keep you chin up, darlin'. Love never fails. it confounds the heck out of jw's.... love, dj

  • blondie
    blondie

    minimus,

    I also know of a couple that got DF'd that were told to no longer come to our KH by 2 elders because they created stress for the ex-husband who's wife cheated on him. A JW wedding is considered a private affair by some (not all, though).

    I know that some areas can be that extreme, but not in my area. Where I live the elders in one congregation would not bar a convicted, DF'd once JW child molester from the congregation where one of his victims attended. Someone anonymously called the law enforcement authorities because this molester was violating his probation; the authorities then made sure he stayed away. I'm well aware that the elders make their own rules and don't apply them equally to all people and all situations. The word for that is "hypocrite."

    Inky, it would definitely be a negative if the brothers had to be so extreme.

    Blondie

  • Wolfgirl
    Wolfgirl

    I'm sorry Inky. :(

    My parents didn't attend my first wedding, when I married someone who had just gotten baptised, because they didn't approve of me dating him before his baptism.

    They didn't come to my second wedding either, because I am DF'd.

  • Francois
    Francois

    Good Lord, DJ, what a story you tell. You must have reached down way inside and come up with The Power from there to pull all that off. Very admirable.

    ft

  • shera
    shera

    sorry....

  • Princess
    Princess

    I'm so sorry! Steve and I were talking about this last night (I didn't know you had posted it). I think if it would make you feel better or if you think you might regret it later than go. Don't worry about those elders posting attendants at the doors. They wouldn't think of that and don't have the guts to turn people away. I'll go with you if you want but that might stir things up even more.

    You are the better person here. You know who's influence he is under for this one and it's just a feeble attempt by your ex to control you. I think your son wants you there but feels he can't invite you "legally". Know what I mean?

    We are so proud of you. You have done so much in this last year to improve your life and you've done it well. There isn't anything I can do to take away the hurt, but I want you to know again that we are so proud of what you have accomplished. So many women would still be with the ex and miserable as hell. You had the guts to rise above it and get out.

    Rachel

  • unique1
    unique1

    Honestly, I can't imagine why he wouldn't invite you and your wife. As others said, unless you are disfellowshipped, the WT society has put nothing out against having "worldly" family present at your wedding. They have said vice versa that a witness should not go to a wedding in a church but not that a non-believer should not go to a wedding in a KH. Perphaps you should be open and tell your son that you understand that you are a non believer, but that you have checked into his religion and have not seen anything that should prevent you from being at his wedding. Let him know you still love him despite his beliefs and that you would like to see your son get married. He may have the mistaken impression that you don't want to be invited. Of course I don't know the whole situation. Best Wishes.

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