The older I get the more angry I become!

by Sour Grapes 33 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Sour Grapes
    Sour Grapes

    I did some self-reflection today trying to determine why, with every passing day, I become angrier against the Watchtower Company. I am in my 70's and my health is failing. At first, I thought it was because "worldly" people couldn't care less about JDubs and the little world they live in even though the Witlesses think that the earth revolves around them and their desert god who was originally worshipped by the Cainites.

    Then I realized that the reason is the older I get the more I regret that my childhood was wasted in the Borg. My chance for a college education was taken away from me, and the fact that the Gibbering Body had in print that I would not grow old. The Awake rag dated May 22, 1969 page 15, "If you are a young person, you also need to face the fact that you will never grow old in this system of things." What the hell does the word "never" mean? I guess that it is like the meaning of the word "soon."

    I think what adds to my frustration is that we know more of what's going on in the borg that the JDubs who don't dare miss a meeting because of fear, obligation, and guilt. The same people who stand like manikins around their carts just counting time ignoring people as they walk by. When the end comes the Witlesses can say with their heads held high, "You walked right by us so don't say that you weren't warned."

    I don't think that the Borg will ever crash and burn but I hope that their numbers go into a deep decline and that as few people as possible get sucked into the Watchtower vortex where their brain cells die because of the Watchtower cocaine and where they will give up their families to live in a paradise that just ain't going to happen.

  • scratchme1010
    scratchme1010
    I don't think that the Borg will ever crash and burn but I hope that their numbers go into a deep decline and that as few people as possible get sucked into the Watchtower vortex where their brain cells die because of the Watchtower cocaine and where they will give up their families to live in a paradise that just ain't going to happen.

    I feel your anger, as I've dealt with it too. I find comfort in what I have done with my life after, and in the fact that I prefer to let go and write a better story for myself after leaving. I hate my life as a JW, but love that I have been able to do much better after.

    It's great to express the anger (in healthy ways of course). I know there are many here who understand where you come from.

  • Phoebe
    Phoebe

    Sour Grapes

    I'm with you on this. I fight daily with my anger at a life wasted. I'm in my middle 60s. I gave them my life. I wasn't educated. I had no career and I'm still struggling to find money to pay the bills when people my age should be enjoying their retirement. I only broke free 11 months ago and my pain is raw. I now totally detest the WT and everything it stands for. In my eyes the organisation is evil. My goal is now to enjoy every day I have left. To laugh, to appreciate everything around me, to love my children, who luckily are not witnesses, and to suck the life out of every day. We can't look back, there is no point. But we can do something and that is make people aware of this terrible cult. Sending you much love.

  • Not_Culty
    Not_Culty

    3rd generation JW here not DFed or DAed inactive 6 yrs. In my 50s shunned by children and grandchildren.

    I hear you , your feelings are mine . I turned down both academic and athletic scholarship opportunities. As did at least one of my younger brothers. My health is still good. But that will eventually change.

    WT will crash . The perfect storm is developing. The victims are coalescing and coordinating with other talented victims from several Cults.

    I speak from experience and deep inside info.

    We must remember that cults are captive organizations so up to 30% could be fully awake and actively working against WT . The GB can trust no one. At the Nov 2017 Warwick protest WT security used a telephoto video camera to film the protesters, within days this video footage was leaked and is now on YouTube .

    More leaks will happen in 2018 . Count on it.

  • Sour Grapes
    Sour Grapes

    Phoebe...thank you!

  • Betheliesalot
    Betheliesalot

    Any chance you(in general) can sue them for lying to you about "never" growing old?

  • Atlantis
    Atlantis

    Absolutely! There are many people on this board who know exactly how you feel. I certainly do! The Watchtower organization I see today is nothing like the organization of the 1950s or 1960s.

    They warned against the Internet and now they are neck deep in it. The sacrifices we made for the borg during our younger years will never be repaid, but we can be thankful we are no longer deceived by the Watchtower and try to make the best of what years we have left.

    We might be able to help someone else so that they CAN go to college and make a decent living for their family. The damage done to us may follow us to our grave, but we may die smiling that we helped someone else to be free from the Watchtower.

    Atlantis!

  • rebelfighter
    rebelfighter

    Sour Grapes,

    There are Worldy People who cares. I never KNEW what a JW was till I was 60 and introduced by the Elder. Once I found out, I have been reverse witnessing ever since. I am so sure my address has been placed on the do not call list. I go to all the flea markets within a 50 mile radius of my home. JW seem to love those places, amazing how not a single one of them have ever heard of the ARC and the one today asked me today who Geoffrey Jackson was? Just rolled my eyes. And this dude claimed to be a Pioneer. Oh, and they absolutely turn all pedos over to the authorities. Oh and he was telling me about all the wonderful charity work the JWs do. And they are building KH all over the world right now. When I told him about all the Elder, Branch Overseers, WT lawyers, Circuit Overseers, Geoffrey Jackson testifying at the ARC under oath his comment was they won't be serving much longer then.

    As long as there are children and women entering a KH, I will reverse Witness.

  • ttdtt
    ttdtt

    Sour Grapes,

    I can really sympathize man. I am in my 50's and just got out a few years ago. I am behind the 8 ball in so many ways. It is easy to let anger and regret get the best of you, but there is very little upside to it. Not that I have any magic words that can help.

  • Sour Grapes
    Sour Grapes

    Rebelfighter...you are a warrior. Thanks

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