I HATE JW funerals

by jws 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • jws

    JW funeral last night. It was about half an hour from start to finish. They opened with basic facts about the person. When they were born, when they died. When they were baptized, married, the family, etc. What he did for a living and that he worked on the hall back when it was built. That's it. Like a resume.

    There was more to this person. Stories, anecdotes, things about him? Nope?

    It was like 3 minutes of "just the facts", then they were DONE talking about him. Didn't mention him again. Then, the other part of the half hour was spent proselytizing. Giving that speech. Not just comfort to the family. If they wanted to give comfort to the family a lot of it would be about the resurrection hope.

    Nope. This talk is for the non JW mourners to convert them. A sales pitch. How disgusting. It isn't about the person who died. It's about preaching. Because they aren't talking to JWs. They're telling the audience JW-101. Adam and Eve, sin entering into the world, etc, etc etc. The basic stuff every JW knows. It's not part of the comforting. It's part of the hook to get others interested.

    I think I'd be horrified if I was new to all of this. They want me to spend forever with a bunch of people, who, at a funeral, can't even be bothered to talk about the person who just died more than a few facts. That's not love amongst yourselves. The guy's dead and all you have to say about him is throwing out dates, names of relations, and jobs he did? How about a story or two that summed up the kind of person he was? Do a little research. Sprinkle things about him throughout the discourse. Show you knew him and cared about him by talking about him. Show that there's love in that congregation for one of their own. Nope.

    This cult shows how cold it is over and over again. That there is no real love. And I hope those talks at funerals always fall on ears that are repulsed and vow never to investigate the religion of their departed ones.

  • OneEyedJoe

    Yeah...it's the issues you mention that makes me pretty sure I'll never go to a JW funeral service. It's not about the deceased, and it's not about those who are mourning them.

    You also correctly point out that the JW system puts zero focus on actually comforting mourners or helping them to grieve in a healthy way. It's my theory that this is also effectively helps the cult by keeping people perpetually in a state of having not really dealt with the loss of loved ones that have passed. They are continually held in the state of thinking they may see these people "the day after tomorrow" when armageddon comes (they even had videos at the convention in 2014 that reinforced the idea that these folks would be back almost suddenly) so they never come to terms with the loss. The loss becomes part of the emotional framework of the cult - it's another link in the chains that keep them locked in the cul.

  • ttdtt

    Unless you happen to get a great speaker with some balls, its just a recruitment speech.

  • steve2

    Another reason not to die as a JW in good standing. Who wants a sales pitch at their funeral?

  • Finkelstein

    Its been said before JWS funerals are a half hour propaganda info commercial for the JWS religion, little time and effort is usually spent about the actual deceased person.

    In JW theology the individual is brought down to little significance, was is appraised and glorified though is how much the person performed in service to Jehovah and participated in his solemnly chosen earthly publishing house.

  • flipper

    STEVE 2- " Another reason not to die as a JW in good standing. Who wants a sales pitch at their funeral ? "

    So very true. WT Society even tries to control JW's after they're dead.

    I told my wife and son if I ever die before them I want to have " Stairway to Heaven " by Led Zeppelin played at my memorial service and for folks to just remember the good and fun times we all had together

  • Sliced

    I hear you loud and clear. Just attended a dear friends funeral (they were unaware of me being faded out since we live in different states) The funeral was terrible... just TERRIBLE. I would say there was about 4 minutes of talking about the deceased in this one and then BAM straight into the cult propaganda. I felt physically nauseous! Afterward it was so surreal--- people just went about the hall like they had just got done with a boring stupid meeting... it was pathetic. I can't tell you how glad I am to be awake and out of all that BS!! Even in DEATH the WT has say over you... its just sooooo sick.

  • Phizzy

    Here is the Outline :


    [Use any that apply and are appropriate.]

    Give details regarding age, birth, when married, surviving family, and so forth

    Share the dedication record of the deceased, including privileges of service

    Highlight exemplary qualities displayed by the deceased (Ec 7:1)


    Grief is a normal reaction to the loss of a loved one (Ge 23:2; 37:34, 35)

    When Lazarus died, Jesus showed sympathy and provided comfort for those grieving (Joh 11:23-26, 33-35)

    Jehovah God has tender feelings for those who grieve and promises to comfort them (Ps 34:18; 147:3)


    Jehovah is the God of wisdom, justice, love, and power

    Death was not part of his original purpose for mankind

    Death is the result of Adam’s disobedience (Ge 2:7, 15-17; 3:19)

    All of Adam’s descendants have inherited death (Ro 5:12)

    God has provided a hope that is sure to be realized (Isa 55:10, 11; Re 21:4)

    The Bible clearly tells us the condition of the dead

    The soul is mortal (Eze 18:4, 20)

    The dead are unconscious (Ps 146:4; Ec 9:5, 10)

    The Bible gives hope that millions who have died will live again

    The resurrection hope is made possible by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ (Mt 20:28)

    Christ’s resurrection provides a guarantee (1Co 15:22, 23)

    God has appointed Jesus to raise the dead (Joh 5:25, 28, 29)

    Anointed Christians are resurrected to heavenly life (1Co 15:51-54; Re 20:4, 6)

    Jesus’ “other sheep” will be resurrected to life in the earthly Paradise (Joh 10:16; Lu 23:43)

    Those who lived and died without an opportunity to understand and apply Bible truth also have the

    prospect of a resurrection (Ac 24:15)


    A funeral reminds us of the brevity and uncertainty of life (Ec 9:11)

    The reality of death makes us think about how we are using our life (Ps 90:12)

    By the way we live, we can make “a good name” with Jehovah God (Ec 7:1-4)

    Jesus said for us to store up treasures in heaven (Mt 6:19-21)

    By our zealous works and godly conduct, we share in sanctifying Jehovah’s name (Pr 27:11)

    The resurrection hope provides an incentive to learn and do God’s will (1Co 15:58; 1Ti 2:3, 4)

    Those who do so can be certain that they will soon see their resurrected loved ones again

    We should use this occasion and the days ahead to comfort one another (1Th 5:11)

    As fellow believers, we can remind one another of our sure hope and provide emotional support (Pr 17:17)

    We prayerfully look to Jehovah to give needed strength until he provides permanent relief (Ps 9:9, 10).

    [Note: Opening with prayer is optional. The purpose of the talk is to uphold Jehovah as a God of love and

    mercy and at the same time bring comfort to the bereaved. Give a fine witness concerning the truth, but also

    make your talk warm and personal. Not all points and scriptures need to be used. Adapt the material to match

    the circumstances of the deceased and the needs of grieving ones. While not overpraising the deceased, you

    may use events from his life throughout the talk to show how those in attendance can benefit from his

    example. Use good balance in this regard. You may choose to arrange a well-rehearsed interview with a brother

    in good standing who knew the deceased well. Any use of humor should be moderate. The dignity of the

    occasion should be preserved. The talk need not exceed 30 minutes. Do not invite the audience to make

    expressions about the deceased, as this could introduce inappropriate or unscriptural elements into the

    program. Use of such songs as Nos. 19, 111, or 134 is optional to open or close the program or both. A brief

    prayer at the close is fitting. When arrangements are made to go to the grave, it is good to consider quite

    briefly our Kingdom hope, reading one or two scriptures, such as Job 14:14, 15 and 1 Corinthians 15:54b-57.

    This service may also be closed with prayer, thanking Jehovah for the resurrection hope.] "

    No guidance as to time spent on any section, so up to the Speaker, depends how much of a Wanker he is, not allowed to have Eulogies, which are often comforting and make it more of a celebration of the person and their life. A crap effort again by JW Org, just when their people need them.

  • My Name is of No Consequence
    My Name is of No Consequence

    When my dad died a year and a half ago, it pretty much was the same way. The speaker at least took some liberties, but not many.

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    when my jw dad died--2 years ago..i organised the funeral..after checking his will for any specific funeral requirements. there were none.

    so i arranged a very simple non religious commital in the crematorium. just me and a couple of ex jw friends to " comfort" me.

    i forgot to tell his jw congregation about his passing. whoops.

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