Cousin's Runaway Girlfriend Living with us

by RunAwayDaughter 48 Replies latest jw friends

  • RunAwayDaughter

    She is not going to give me the name and phone number of her Bible Teacher. It took two months for her to admit that she was studying to become a JW.

    I've stalked social media trying to find the name of their congregation and can't. Do congregations vary in how strict they follow the religion? Are some more forgiving than others?

    I know the names of his mother and two aunts who are active members. And, the names of a couple of the children who live in the house where Brian and my daughter are shacking up.

  • Wakanda
    How would they be notified and would they take action or even believe it.

    Go to JW. Borg (org) and scroll down to Congregation Meetings of Jehovah's Witnesses. You will find phone numbers to congregations. Call around 9 in the morning, noon or 1, and around 7pm.

    I do not know if they will take action or if they will believe it. They think they are saving her eternal life. It's a cult.

  • Pete Zahut
  • Vanderhoven7

    If you are going to go the route of exposure, not only of the young man but also of the parents complicity in this matter you might:

    a. Hire a private eye to tail them on a Sunday morning and get the address of the kingdom hall they attend and the names of some of the elders.

    b. Take it from there.

    Word of caution: If you do reveal the facts about the pair and the complicity of the family members the elders will want to investigate but it may backfire and ruin your relationship with your daughter permanently.

  • RunAwayDaughter

    Exposing them would be my LAST option.

    I wish some nosey sister or brother would tell the elders so it would not come from her family.

  • Giordano

    It feels to me like a clash of personalities. That may not be a fair statement. the least........ a conflict of choices.

    In all that you and your late husband wanted for her perhaps she has been somewhat detached from everything you and your husband did. Sometimes it takes longer for us to understand who we are growing up.

    I was certainly detached from my mother's interest in becoming a JW. Though I did that life for a time.

    When I was 18 I met my future wife.....I though she was 17 but she was 15 1/2!!

    We waited a year and a half to marry. She was the oldest unmarried child in her family and they were starting to get worried........ LOL.

    We have been together for 54 years now. I told her this morning that it was my privilege to wake up every morning next to her..........don't know why I even said that. But we have that kind of relationship...... a hug passing by one another in the hall way. Respect for one another.

    We have a wide circle of friends and when they learn how long we have been married they ask......... what did you do when you guys married so young.....she tells them the truth....."We continued to raise one another!"

    The odds are probably against you resolving this situation or that things will work out. But they just might.

    Step back and trust your daughter to find her way....... and if she fails....... be there for her. Make sure she knows that........ because you will be her everything.

    No one way to live, no censure or shunning........ you don't get off that easy........ from what you have written you are not that weak. You have a fierce love for your daughter.....but now she is an young adult and it is important to make adjustments in your relationship going forward.

    The JW religion is not the issue....... it's just a temporary foolish distraction. She can leave it at any point and return to her family........ which is you. Make sure she knows you are there for her.

  • RunAwayDaughter

    Thank you Giordano - I would never shun her. She is my daughter.

    It was not personality clashes as much as teenager rebellion. She might be 18, but emotionally, she is younger.

    Here is what I think the bottom-line issue is:

    1 - She thinks she is in love (and maybe she is and it will last a life time.)

    2 - She is also depressed. She has not dealt with the loss of her father and it is around this age that adopted children experience loss for birth parents.

    3 - Before they left, he had begun to separate her from friends and was creating division. He is very jealous. She told one male friend that she could no longer talk with him because Bryan told her she could not talk with him.

    4 - He lied to me. I'd rather have someone steal from me than to lie. Trust is a hard thing to rebuild.

    I do believe in God and I have Pray Warriors praying to open Ciara's eyes. That doesn't mean bring her back to South Carolina. It means to simply open her eyes to truth around her.

    I have people praying to give me strength and to help me turn this over completely to God. I believe He helped me find this group because the diverse opinions, backgrounds, and experiences have helped.

    Now, I must continue to educate myself, try to keep communications open with her - which includes not contacting her and waiting for her, and praying.

  • Vanderhoven7

    Yes, I agree, a nosey sister who would just intimate that there seems to be a sister who is encouraging sexual activity between an unmarried teenager and her JW son in her own home. No details necessary other than the names of the parties involved would bring the house down.

  • RunAwayDaughter

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