Are we participants in this forum because of bouts of "loneliness"?

by Wonderment 47 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  done4good

  Loneliness, no. Catharsis, yes, currently.

  In the past it was research, (when I started here over 9 years ago), and support. I was off the forum for several years between 2009 and late 2013 or so, and had little need for this type of exchange during that period. About two years ago certain life changes forced me to express my thoughts with respect to relationships with JWs, as I was deeply hurt by an old JW friend "just following orders" that decided to shun me. That experience taught me empathy however, and I try to offer such to those far less fortunate than myself, with respect to being an ex-JW, which is another reason I continue to contribute here.

  I have a wonderful family, a good education and career, and a good second lease on life overall. Nothing to be lonely about.
  

  d4g
  
• 

  FayeDunaway

  I am not lonely. I love my church and the community there, I have many friends in many walks of life, I have old friends who also left the religion, and we have found eachother again (thank you facebook!), I also have my husband and kids.

  But my birth family is pretty much gone to me. As long as we are apart, I miss them and have that frustration. Coming here sort of relieves that. I can keep up with what they are hearing and doing even tho we talk hardly ever.

  I like hearing about other people's experiences here. It's so strange, because it's often like reading my own. This is only possible in a cult...that someone's mental processes can be so similar. Also it's fun to reminisce with people here. We went through such similar childhoods and experiences.

  I like giving support to people who are just starting to act on their doubts. It was an awful time for me. Unfortunately I didn't try to find places like this, then. I was too scared, I suppose. I came here several years later to research current practices of disfellowshipping and the current view on 1914. Stayed mainly because so many people are so desperate, trying to get out. I want to be a voice for them so they know it can work out and to not give up.
• 

  Beth Sarim

  Another reason too why many people come here, maybe because of extreme ''boredom''. Not sure if that was already mentioned though.
• 

  jws

  When I first came to this site, I wasn't that far out of it. My father was still alive and JW.

  I wanted to know what's going on. What was about to happen? Some out of curiosity. Some out of looking for news of the religion's ultimate demise. And some to preserve my relationship with my father. I had only faded (not DF/DA) and I wanted to keep abreast of anything that might affect that relationship. Would they crack down on people like me? Did I need to, say, attend a meeting once every 6 months so that my dad could still talk to me? ie loopholes to keep us talking.

  Lonely? For the companionship I lost by leaving the JWs? Hardly. That wasn't much of a friendship anyways. Always hiding things with them. My friends now I can be open and honest with. Yeah, I saw that R-rated movie. Yes, I went out drinking.

  Lonely for friendship though? Perhaps, sometimes. Just having an online group to follow. And to read interesting stories and opinions about a faith that governed my formative years. I like having the community. It's not my only one and I've been involved with fantastic ones. But it is one of them.
• 

  Nambo

  I'm lonely, the Watchtower took my courting years, so I am left to face old age alone, though I did meet a Sister when I was in, the Elders gave her the old, "Jehovah wont be pleased if you marry somebody from a lower Caste" story, so my heart was broken.

  But apart from the org and its teachings, the nicest people I ever met were in the Twoof, and I guess that's you guys.
  
• 

  Lostandfound

  Nambo

  so true The WT took my courting years

  took my and your youth, fun, freedom, excitement, normality etc etc

  i more frustrated at my own stupidity for wasting almost 40 years
• 

  Giordano

  Loneliness is not a factor for me. Plenty of family and friends where we live. But to take the time to have an intelligent debate or conversation is important.

  Being around people you have something in common with is appealing to me.

  Helping people who are going through a rough patch makes me feel like it was time well spent.

  Getting an ex JW's take on world issues especially with an international membership is often rewarding.

  Thinking through a carefully worded response, doing some internet research to make sure your facts are lined up is a mental workout. For someone who is visiting the start of his 7th decade a mental workout is important.
• 

  ToesUp

  I can't answer for everyone but I come on here to vent. It's comforting to know that we are not alone with our thoughts and that others feel as we do. Being a ex JW or a stuck in JW does not allow you to talk with anyone who won't throw you under the bus.

  It's been great therapy for me. Thanks everyone!