Are we participants in this forum because of bouts of "loneliness"?

by Wonderment 47 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Wonderment

    I wonder how many of us here hold on to this meeting place out of "loneliness."

    Could it be that we harbor feelings of "abandonment" and "loneliness" from being left cold and dry by the WT people and our families? Perhaps we do have a need to reach out to people with similar experiences. How much of our participation here is due to spiritual needs, or is it in reality a longing need we share to be accepted by someone else after being dumped to the curb by our previous associates?

    I would love to hear your sentiments on the matter.

  • blondie

    Most of my jw family are dead. The living shunned me and my husband when he was an elder and I had been a regular pioneer. Of course, they treated others like that in the congregation. I belong to support groups for issues that have nothing to do with jws. It helps that someone has your experiences and has ways to deal with the issues involved...such as a chronic pain group.

    I have found that people here find whatever spiritual issues outside the group and they change as they heal and learn. The point I think is not to make this a place to convert people to your point of view. I feel we must take responsibility for our own research, meditate on it, and make what changes you are ready for.

  • zeb

    Yes. I have a lonely life as there is only perfunctory convo between my wife and I. Were I to comment on something like the recent news from France then I get cult speak. We have visitors rarely. So I appreciate anyone answering my pm's .

    I don't go 'on-line' here anymore as my health has taken a big plunge during the ARC and my involvement there but yes you are quite correct.

    "There is nothing more hurtful than to live in close propinquity with some one who has ceased to communicate" Greer.

  • Introvert 2
    Introvert 2
    Good subject, I come on here for research, therapy and to comes to terms with how my weaknesses were exploited to the benefit of the WTBS and others that have no conscience. So in effect to compare notes and maybe console others in any way I can through by my experiences and recent awakening. Mind you I was only in from '00 - '08 but it took at least an additional 5 years to begin deprogramming myself being I was exposed to 'the truth' from my early high school years. The higher moral ground does have benefits but what I didn't know was all the useless busy work and double standards that go along with it. Once in the pressure to perform and produce as a 'publisher' ratchets up exponentially. I'm still learning to forgive myself and move on.
  • millie210

    I dont feel lonely but I did feel for awhile like my sanity and I were parting ways!

    I mean, this wonderful religion I spent my whole life in couldnt be wrong could it?

    Could it???

    Well turns out - yes it could!

    Finding everyone here and realizing that I was NOT the problem, gave me my steady world view back.

    You guys are my friends/therapists/sounding boards/partners in exile.

    Sanity has taken off its coat and hat and decided to stick around....

  • stan livedeath
    stan livedeath

    i was introduced to this site in 2010.

    i was brought up in the cult from age 10 till i quit at 23. i eventually came to terms with the loss of my kids to it.

    many years passed by--till i found out my older son had been d/f--and i was worried about him. eventually--i found him--through facebook--and also discovered this brave new apostate world. my son has no interest in the cult--and even less in the xjw world either. hes moved on.

    it is true i lead a very lonely--isolated life--and this site in many ways is a social online contact resource. i have no interest in anything bible-related--in fact i stop reading as soon as any scripture is quoted.

    i really like reading life stories of others who have found their way out.

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    I also come here for research. I want to be ready to defend the faith or sharpen my sword

    to dismantle their faith. I still have a large number of family in the borg, and when

    the time comes I will be ready.

  • dbq407
    I come here to find out what the WTBS is trying to hide from their members....which turns out to be quite a lot.
  • bradford
    My reasons in any given order
    1. Stay current
    2. Reciprocity
    3. Help someone on the brink get through tough times
    4. Learn from those more experienced and gain different perspective
    5. Vindication
  • jesscd
    Research is what initially brought me to this forum. Contact and interchange with others who understand - and only those who have been in can truly understand - is why I keep coming back. I am not lonely. I have a wonderful family, and I am slowly making a social life for myself, although it takes a lot of effort when you are a born-in and leave in 30's +. But my husband and small children, extended family/in-laws, and new "worldly" friends - never being JW's, just can't understand everything. They don't get my mindset on things and they don't understand what it was like growing up as a child, adolescent, and young adult in the JW world. Most of them are lax or former Catholics, but they still have their family by their side and their whole social structure from childhood on. This forum gives me an outlet to know I am not alone and to basically commiserate with those who truly "get it". I think many who visit this forum feel the same way. And if I can help someone newly out or on their way out, so much the better. I went through a lot of guilt and mental/emotional upheaval when I left; easing others transition to the real world is another reason I visit and have tried to share more of late on this forum.

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