Nice Guys Vs. Jerks.

by Mecurious? 43 Replies latest social relationships

  • asleif_dufansdottir

    In my experience (of course, my experience and $2.50 will get you a cup of coffee), the guys who complain the loudest that "women never want nice guys" are balding, pot-bellied 45-year-olds who only want to date 22-year-old supermodels. Sometimes they will even react in horror when you suggest they ask an overweight woman, or a woman their own age, out. Having astronomically higher standards for 'attractiveness' for a potential girlfriend than you do for yourself, is not exactly being a 'nice' guy.

    Not that I'm accusing any of the guys here of that...just a comment.

    My brother has consistently (since at least high school) pined away after beautiful girls who wouldn't date him (they didn't want to give up being 'buddies' with him, and instead chose 'jerks' who they then complained about to him...getting him to do stuff for them), while completely ignoring those who would have loved to have a relationship with him.

    I agree with the other poster. Do you think us fat girls finish first? When was the last time you saw somebody who looked like Tom Cruise out with a lady who wore a size 20, even if she was "really nice"?

    Instead guys pick women who demand jewelry and clothes and high maintenance...and run off with the pool guy.

    My husband has his moment of nice guy and his moments of jerk.

  • Realist


    you are right of course.....unfortunately guys focus primarily on the optics of a girl. its obviously a genetically preprogrammed behavior.

    guys can more easily compensate bad looks with charm, money, etc.

    did you see the movie shallow hal??? it was pretty good!

  • Mecurious?

    Hey, good comments so far. Most men are clueless when it comes to the opposite sex. Women have an advantage in this area. Even an average looking women can get sex faster than a decent looking man. I was lucky enough to meet a good women and have been married for over 8 years and have two beautiful children. But, believe me before I met her I dated some crazy women as well.

    The guys who complain the loudest that "women never want nice guys" are balding, pot-bellied 45-year-olds who only want to date 22-year-old supermodels

    Ask any man(if he's being honest) he will tell you that he wants a beautiful women. So this would be true regardless of age. An 18 year old man and a 45 year old man pretty much want the same thing(looks wise). But, the problem is knowing how to get it, hopefully the 45 year-old man will have more life experience and be able to look beyond the physical.

    Nervous-and-self-doubting-and-therefore-not-a-hit-with-the-babes class.

    Yea, I used to be too, until I realized that no matter how good looking a women is she's a person just like you. Men need to stop putting beautiful women on pedestals and learn how to relax around them. Plus realize that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. IMHO, there is no thing as a perfect ten. Check this link out:

    >...There really is someone for everyone...
    I differ to beg,because so far this has not proved to be true in my case...

    Why not? Why should you be any different than 6 billion other people? You just haven't met her yet. Believe me it will happen when you least expect it. Check this link out:


  • Aztec

    Okay, first the problem is not "nice" guys. It's "doormats"! There is a point you can reach when you go beyond nice and become a doormat and noone likes that. Women like a man with a spine. We like to get our way, but we like a little resistance as well. I've never been a big fan of "jerks". One guy grabbed me by the arm and told me I wasn't allowed to leave. Wanna guess how far into next week he got slapped? :D I like em nice with a little bit of spice! ;) ~Aztec

  • teejay

    Ok, Azzy.

    You've touched on a sore spot.

    Men – when it comes to dealing with 90s / 00s women – have a tough row to hoe. Be sensitive and get laughed at for being weak. Or worse ("He's gay.") Take the opposite role – act like a 50s man – and have it said you're not sensitive.

    Spoil your woman and you're a "doormat." Give her specific parameters and you're "cheap" or a "hard ass."

    Men are required to jump through a succession of hoops and no matter what they do, most women (repeat: "most women") will find a way to FAIL him. Have you seen "Two Can Play That Game"?

  • obiwan

    Well since we are on the subject of nice guys/bad guys, what gives with these women I see that are either married to or are dating guys that are just fugly (sorry simon) I mean I know ( without everybody thinking that I feel I'm the man cause I'm not ) I'm better looking than these guys, they dress poorly, I make more money, they generally look dirty, treats'em like crap, and are always sending them to the store for a fourty, what gives!

    Azzy it seems to me that the line between nice and doormat are fuzzy at best. I grew up a momma's boy and so I have been around alot of women, and women say they want their man to be a good friend, however I can talk to women and converse with them extremely well Ilisten very well witch women love yet when I have a women friend spill her guts about problems she has and listen intently, afterwards she is so happy to have me as a friend and loves me in her life. I'm not a doormat for her, she knows I stand up for what I believe I don't run to her at the drop of a hat yet later that night she's boinking joe jerkoff all night long who treats her like crap and she's the one who runs to him at the drop of a hat.

    So now I feel like if I want any, I gotta be like joe jerkoff.

  • Aztec

    Wow, Teejay and Obiwan I don't know any women like that. Well, I'm actually not friends with too many women but, the ones I know are like me. They like men they can debate with and still be treated with respect. Nice to me means someone who will listen to me and give their honest opinion without being overly harsh. Doormat is someone who will always agree with me and never be critical. I need someone who will offer support but isn't afraid to tell me when I'm wrong. Looks and money aren't big motivating factors for me. For me, it's all about attitude and personality. :) ~Aztec

  • obiwan

    Be careful what you ask for may get it.

  • bittersweet

    I myself was always attracted to the sweet quiet guys, but I have noticed that a lot of women are attracted to jerks. For instance, two of my good friends have both put up with so much crap from their boyfriends. Every time they get cheated on, they swear they won't take the guy back, and next thing you know, BOOM! their back together. This goes on and on, and they keep taking it! They seem to focus on the very few "good times" and forget about all the bad times. A guy friend of mine is the same way. His girl friend (ex at the moment ) has broken their engagement atleast 4 times, and goes out with other guys, yet he always wants her back. I just don't get it. They seem to get off on the abuse. Or worse, they think they deserve it.

    So it does seem to be true, girls ( and sometimes guys ) prefer jerks. Sad, but seems to be true. But for all those nice guys out there, don't think you need to be a jerk to get a girl, there still are many women who prefer the good guys. You just have to search for them!

  • obiwan


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